those that are having financial difficulties

kelbrian · May 2009

punkfiction:
they would be very difficult for someone who has never done those things - or hasn't in years. if you think going from making 250k a year to having no income is just "well, fire the maid and go down to one car!" that is extremely naive. and do you seriously think that someone right now could sell their expensive home? "whoops! ill just go buy a different one!" THAT is the reason there are many foreclosures - bc when you live within the means you have, no matter how much it is, and then its taken away, you can't just "sell your home and get a smaller one".?
?

It would be very difficult for someone to not get their hair or nails done or have a cleaning lady? Are you fuucking serious??

Glad I don't live with that mentality. ?

ETA: Just because you HAVE a lot of money does not mean that you have to live like a princess. I know plenty of people who have a lot of money and save it - they have small houses/apartments/condos, no cars, and go on the occasional nice vacation. THAT is living within your means. Having a cleaning lady, getting your nails done every week, having a giant as$ SUV and house are not living within your means. That is just plain ridiculous to me.?

star173 · May 2009

brandonsfuturewife07:

jculp:
To me struggling is simply what you are supposed to do when you are starting a family. I SAH now and so things had to go... cable, vacations, entertainment etc. I am a Realtor and so yes this market has changed our lifestyle and it may feel like we are living rougher but we honestly don't complain once... living pay check to pay check is perfectly fine with me! We are happy and life couldn't get any better right now.

what a crappy mindset.

living paycheck to paycheck is stressful as all getout, and the one time we had to, my husband spent the majority of his time in the bathroom puking. all because of a home disaster that we were unprepared for because we had spent ALL of our savings on mine & DS's (unexpected) hospital bills.

we weren't prepared for a family, because we weren't planning on one for another 5 years, and the stress that it has brought has taken a toll on our finances, our marriage, and a lot of other stuff.

SOOO... we don't get professional pictures, don't go out to eat, aren't having a huge birthday bash, etc.

If I lived near you, I'd take professional family photos free of charge.

punkfiction · May 2009

MegGary:
No I realize it's not that easy to sell a house in this market & there is more to it. To say that having to clean your own house is scary is just sad to me.

Also THAT is not why there are so many foreclosures. The reason there are so many forclosures is because banks where giving out loans where the APRs have ballooned & also a lot of people bought homes beyond their means to begin with. So now the APR is rising as is the cost of living, people are either not getting raises or losing their jobs & cannot afford to pay for those loans that they really shouldn't of been given in the 1st place.

But did you ever think of this idea? Try living below your means? Just because you have all that money doesn't mean you have to spend it. I'm not just talking about you either. I'm saying a lot of Americans live this way.

ok you are not understanding something. someone who makes 250/year and lives at 150/year is still going to have the nice house, nice cars, etc. if you are even implying that instead of that, they should drive a used honda and live in a house 1/2 their mortgage in a crap neighborhood, bc "well, you should live below your means", then that is damn ridiculous

yes, it was dumb for a lot of people to buy homes out of their means. completely. it was also dumb for anyone in their right minds to get an ARM loan. but there are a LOT of 500k+ homes (which is a nice home here in texas) that are foreclosed on. it was not bc they didnt have the money/salary/etc then - it is because they dont have it now bc they lost their job. no one is going to live on 50k a year when they make 250k just out of fear. and youre right - just bc you have it, doesn't mean you have to spend it, but i guarantee if your dh (or you) made triple or quadruple what he does now - youd be living a little bit better than you do.

punkfiction · May 2009

LOL this debate will go no where when someone living paycheck to paycheck cannot see out of their own situation and realize that its different for everyone.

kelbrian · May 2009

punkfiction:
MegGary:
No I realize it's not that easy to sell a house in this market & there is more to it. To say that having to clean your own house is scary is just sad to me.
?Also THAT is not why there are so many foreclosures. The reason there are so many forclosures is because banks where giving out loans where the APRs have ballooned & also a lot of people bought homes beyond their means to begin with. So now?the APR is rising as is the cost of living, people are either not getting raises or losing their jobs?& cannot afford to pay for those loans that they really shouldn't of been given in the 1st place.
But did you ever think of this idea? Try living below your means? Just because you have all that money doesn't mean you have to spend it. I'm not just talking about you either. I'm saying a lot of Americans live this way.
ok you are not understanding something. someone who makes 250/year and lives at 150/year is still going to have the nice house, nice cars, etc. if you are even implying that instead of that, they should drive a used honda and live in a house 1/2 their mortgage in a crap neighborhood, bc "well, you should live below your means", then that is damn ridiculous
yes, it was dumb for a lot of people to buy homes out of their means. completely. it was also dumb for anyone in their right minds to get an ARM loan. but there are a LOT of 500k+ homes (which is a nice home here in texas) that are foreclosed on. it was not bc they didnt have the money/salary/etc then - it is because they dont have it now bc they lost their job. no one is going to live on 50k a year when they make 250k just out of fear. and youre right - just bc you have it, doesn't mean you have to spend it, but i guarantee if your dh (or you) made triple or quadruple what he does now - youd be living a little bit better than you do.

Punk, I know plenty of people who are wealthy, like I said before. They aren't greedy, they don't have a giant house that they don't need or more vehicles than they need. They don't get their nails done every week or have a cleaning ladies.

But thanks for showing me what kind of person you are! I should of realized that a person who thinks they are entitled to a bunch of ridiculous shiit like manicures, hair appointments, SUVs and the like would never be able to see that they don't need all of those things. ?Typical American!

KittenGator · May 2009

kelbrian:
punkfiction:
they would be very difficult for someone who has never done those things - or hasn't in years. if you think going from making 250k a year to having no income is just "well, fire the maid and go down to one car!" that is extremely naive. and do you seriously think that someone right now could sell their expensive home? "whoops! ill just go buy a different one!" THAT is the reason there are many foreclosures - bc when you live within the means you have, no matter how much it is, and then its taken away, you can't just "sell your home and get a smaller one".?
?
It would be very difficult for someone to not get their hair or nails done or have a cleaning lady? Are you fuucking serious??
Glad I don't live with that mentality. ?

I completely agree. We downgraded our lifestyle a LOT. It wasn't the most fun thing to do but we don't have that "entitled" mentality and we just sucked it up. It just sucks to see people crying about not being able to go on vacations or saying they're broke when their checking account hits $1000. I'd LOVE to have $1000 in my checking account.

MegGary · May 2009

punkfiction:
MegGary:

No I realize it's not that easy to sell a house in this market & there is more to it. To say that having to clean your own house is scary is just sad to me.

Also THAT is not why there are so many foreclosures. The reason there are so many forclosures is because banks where giving out loans where the APRs have ballooned & also a lot of people bought homes beyond their means to begin with. So now the APR is rising as is the cost of living, people are either not getting raises or losing their jobs & cannot afford to pay for those loans that they really shouldn't of been given in the 1st place.

But did you ever think of this idea? Try living below your means? Just because you have all that money doesn't mean you have to spend it. I'm not just talking about you either. I'm saying a lot of Americans live this way.

ok you are not understanding something. someone who makes 250/year and lives at 150/year is still going to have the nice house, nice cars, etc. if you are even implying that instead of that, they should drive a used honda and live in a house 1/2 their mortgage in a crap neighborhood, bc "well, you should live below your means", then that is damn ridiculous

yes, it was dumb for a lot of people to buy homes out of their means. completely. it was also dumb for anyone in their right minds to get an ARM loan. but there are a LOT of 500k+ homes (which is a nice home here in texas) that are foreclosed on. it was not bc they didnt have the money/salary/etc then - it is because they dont have it now bc they lost their job. no one is going to live on 50k a year when they make 250k just out of fear. and youre right - just bc you have it, doesn't mean you have to spend it, but i guarantee if your dh (or you) made triple or quadruple what he does now - youd be living a little bit better than you do.

Probably not. I live in Jersey. You should see the taxes around here.

MsTammy · May 2009

KittenGator:
kelbrian:
punkfiction:

they would be very difficult for someone who has never done those things - or hasn't in years. if you think going from making 250k a year to having no income is just "well, fire the maid and go down to one car!" that is extremely naive. and do you seriously think that someone right now could sell their expensive home? "whoops! ill just go buy a different one!" THAT is the reason there are many foreclosures - bc when you live within the means you have, no matter how much it is, and then its taken away, you can't just "sell your home and get a smaller one".

It would be very difficult for someone to not get their hair or nails done or have a cleaning lady? Are you fuucking serious?

Glad I don't live with that mentality.

I completely agree. We downgraded our lifestyle a LOT. It wasn't the most fun thing to do but we don't have that "entitled" mentality and we just sucked it up. It just sucks to see people crying about not being able to go on vacations or saying they're broke when their checking account hits $1000. I'd LOVE to have $1000 in my checking account.

Ditto this.

punkfiction · May 2009

kelbrian:
punkfiction:
MegGary:
No I realize it's not that easy to sell a house in this market & there is more to it. To say that having to clean your own house is scary is just sad to me.
Also THAT is not why there are so many foreclosures. The reason there are so many forclosures is because banks where giving out loans where the APRs have ballooned & also a lot of people bought homes beyond their means to begin with. So now the APR is rising as is the cost of living, people are either not getting raises or losing their jobs & cannot afford to pay for those loans that they really shouldn't of been given in the 1st place.
But did you ever think of this idea? Try living below your means? Just because you have all that money doesn't mean you have to spend it. I'm not just talking about you either. I'm saying a lot of Americans live this way.
ok you are not understanding something. someone who makes 250/year and lives at 150/year is still going to have the nice house, nice cars, etc. if you are even implying that instead of that, they should drive a used honda and live in a house 1/2 their mortgage in a crap neighborhood, bc "well, you should live below your means", then that is damn ridiculous
yes, it was dumb for a lot of people to buy homes out of their means. completely. it was also dumb for anyone in their right minds to get an ARM loan. but there are a LOT of 500k+ homes (which is a nice home here in texas) that are foreclosed on. it was not bc they didnt have the money/salary/etc then - it is because they dont have it now bc they lost their job. no one is going to live on 50k a year when they make 250k just out of fear. and youre right - just bc you have it, doesn't mean you have to spend it, but i guarantee if your dh (or you) made triple or quadruple what he does now - youd be living a little bit better than you do.
Punk, I know plenty of people who are wealthy, like I said before. They aren't greedy, they don't have a giant house that they don't need or more vehicles than they need. They don't get their nails done every week or have a cleaning ladies.
But thanks for showing me what kind of person you are! I should of realized that a person who thinks they are entitled to a bunch of ridiculous shiit like manicures, hair appointments, SUVs and the like would never be able to see that they don't need all of those things. Typical American!

LOL if you think that *most* people on this board dont get manicures and have hair appointments (ok maybe pre-kids if they dont have the time now) you are lying to yourself. if you have the money to do it - go for it. for you to say "you don't need it" is dumb - of course no one does. but if you have the money and want to do it, then why not? if you have to cut out something like that, its not that 'omg im going to die", but it probably would suck a tad - and personally i think not having enough to do your normal activites = financial distress. you dont have to agree with it, but to say that its not financial distress bc you aren't living on the streets is ridiculous. the OP asked what is your definition - that is my definition (having to change your lifestyle)

BabyMenzel · May 2009

financial difficulties....it's what i am going through now. ds' father pays nothing (doesn't think he has to) but thank god the support papers have gone out...

i don't make it paycheck to paycheck. nothing in savings (i actually just had to deplete my savings this week so i could pay the rent for this month as we're moving)

i can pay my rent every month in full (that's the #1 bill i have to make sure that i pay every month)

i've had to cut a deal with out dcp to lower our weekly rate (thank god she's nice!)

my grocery budget is about $5-10/week and my gas budget is $10/week

my bills are always past due (which sucks) but ds and rent and gas for work comes first

*Bre* · May 2009

the majority of y'all don't know what poor is. nft.

brandonsfuturewife07 · May 2009

*Bre*:
the majority of y'all don't know what poor is. nft.

Yes

kelbrian · May 2009

punkfiction:
LOL if you think that *most* people on this board dont get manicures and have hair appointments (ok maybe pre-kids if they dont have the time now) you are lying to yourself. if you have the money to do it - go for it. for you to say "you don't need it" is dumb - of course no one does. but if you have the money and want to do it, then why not? if you have to cut out something like that, its not that 'omg im going to die", but it probably would suck a tad - and personally i think not having enough to do your normal activites = financial distress. you dont have to agree with it, but to say that its not financial distress bc you aren't living on the streets is ridiculous. the OP asked what is your definition - that is my definition (having to change your lifestyle)

LMAO. Normal activities? I don't consider having a cleaning lady a normal activity, so I guess we can't see eye to eye. Normal activities for me? Walk to work. Do I have feet? Check. Do I have DD in the stroller? Check. Work. Do I have two hands that are able to care for children? Yep. Walk back home from work. Do I still have feet! YES! Check. Do I have DD in the stroller? Check. Come home, clean up a bit. Do I still have two hands and an as$ that isn't too lazy to clean my own home? YES! SCORE!

My daily activities don't cost anything, but thanks. I suppose it's different from a lot of people, though, in that I don't get my hair or nails done because I don't LIKE having them done and think it is a waste of money, and I have the ability to clean my own bathtub.?

You are all kinds of ridiculous, and I think it would be hilarious to see you try to handle actually having real financial difficulties. Like a chicken with its head cut off.?

punkfiction · May 2009

actually kel, we had no money when we moved up to dallas. we had a lot of help (and paid every cent back), but we were 2 kids that worked at a bar and had a baby. but nice try.

and again, i never said those things were NEEDED a said that for some people they are normal activities. dont put words into my mouth.

Amy Schramm · May 2009

First, whoever said "financially struggling is part of being a family" is flat out wrong. ?My parents never struggled and DH and I are not struggling at all (knock on wood in this economy). ?We waited to get married and to have a child until we were well established in our careers and financially and until we had a nice house and alot in savings. ?I didn't want to struggle and not every family does.Second, I consider "financial difficulties" to be struggling to pay fixed expenses, like mortgages, past credit card debt, etc. ?Obviously, there are different degrees of struggling and troubles but that's what I consider it to be. ?Lastly, Kel, I PPH you but watch it

?I spend a stupid amount of money. ?That said, I recognize that I am extremely, extremely lucky (and DH and I have also worked our butts off for years) and that I have absolutely no idea what it is like to financially struggle, or to be poor. ?I also recognize that giving up my cleaning lady (yes, I am lazy and proud of it

) is not financially struggling. ?

carolinag · May 2009

i'm adding my 2 cents late in the game but i have to come to punk's defense. she is simply arguing the semantics of the cost of living. if someone who made more lost their job, they very well have a home & car payments that cost more. now go to a family that makes less. they lose their income, they struggle even if their car/home payments are less than the other family. at the end of the day i would think the struggles are fairly on par with one another.

it's semantics. people have different costs of living. if you live in different cities in the country you'll find that. someone who makes $250 k a year who lives in st. louis will be able to have bigger and better things than a person who makes the same salary but lives in nyc. the cost of living isn't being properly factored in for some of you in my opinion.

now you're right. you shouldn't complain about struggling if you're not giving up basic luxuries. nails, internet, cable, etc are basic luxuries. if you still have those things then keep your mouth shut i suppose. although i'll be honest. i biitched about having to cut down my cable & internet packages, but at the end of the day i did it b/c i knew we needed to save the $. i don't think that makes me selfish.

violetvirgo · May 2009

carolinag:
i'm adding my 2 cents late in the game but i have to come to punk's defense. she is simply arguing the semantics of the cost of living. if someone who made more lost their job, they very well have a home & car payments that cost more. now go to a family that makes less. they lose their income, they struggle even if their car/home payments are less than the other family. at the end of the day i would think the struggles are fairly on par with one another.
it's semantics. people have different costs of living. if you live in different cities in the country you'll find that. someone who makes $250 k a year who lives in st. louis will be able to have bigger and better things than a person who makes the same salary but lives in nyc. the cost of living isn't being properly factored in for some of you in my opinion.
now you're right. you shouldn't complain about struggling if you're not giving up basic luxuries. nails, internet, cable, etc are basic luxuries. if you still have those things then keep your mouth shut i suppose. although i'll be honest. i biitched about having to cut down my cable & internet packages, but at the end of the day i did it b/c i knew we needed to save the $. i don't think that makes me selfish.

i'm just now catching up also and i have to agree with caroline, punk and nyc.

MegGary · May 2009

nyc212:
First, whoever said "financially struggling is part of being a family" is flat out wrong. My parents never struggled and DH and I are not struggling at all (knock on wood in this economy). We waited to get married and to have a child until we were well established in our careers and financially and until we had a nice house and alot in savings. I didn't want to struggle and not every family does. Second, I consider "financial difficulties" to be struggling to pay fixed expenses, like mortgages, past credit card debt, etc. Obviously, there are different degrees of struggling and troubles but that's what I consider it to be. Lastly, Kel, I PPH you but watch it I spend a stupid amount of money. That said, I recognize that I am extremely, extremely lucky (and DH and I have also worked our butts off for years) and that I have absolutely no idea what it is like to financially struggle, or to be poor. I also recognize that giving up my cleaning lady (yes, I am lazy and proud of it ) is not financially struggling.

I like your style.

Amy Schramm · May 2009

MegGary:
nyc212:
First, whoever said "financially struggling is part of being a family" is flat out wrong. ?My parents never struggled and DH and I are not struggling at all (knock on wood in this economy). ?We waited to get married and to have a child until we were well established in our careers and financially and until we had a nice house and alot in savings. ?I didn't want to struggle and not every family does.Second, I consider "financial difficulties" to be struggling to pay fixed expenses, like mortgages, past credit card debt, etc. ?Obviously, there are different degrees of struggling and troubles but that's what I consider it to be. ?Lastly, Kel, I PPH you but watch it ?I spend a stupid amount of money. ?That said, I recognize that I am extremely, extremely lucky (and DH and I have also worked our butts off for years) and that I have absolutely no idea what it is like to financially struggle, or to be poor. ?I also recognize that giving up my cleaning lady (yes, I am lazy and proud of it ) is not financially struggling. ?

I like your style.

I like yours as well. ?And your kid is a cutie ?

*blondiem* · May 2009

nyc212:
First, whoever said "financially struggling is part of being a family" is flat out wrong. My parents never struggled and DH and I are not struggling at all (knock on wood in this economy). We waited to get married and to have a child until we were well established in our careers and financially and until we had a nice house and alot in savings. I didn't want to struggle and not every family does.Second, I consider "financial difficulties" to be struggling to pay fixed expenses, like mortgages, past credit card debt, etc. Obviously, there are different degrees of struggling and troubles but that's what I consider it to be. Lastly, Kel, I PPH you but watch it I spend a stupid amount of money. That said, I recognize that I am extremely, extremely lucky (and DH and I have also worked our butts off for years) and that I have absolutely no idea what it is like to financially struggle, or to be poor. I also recognize that giving up my cleaning lady (yes, I am lazy and proud of it ) is not financially struggling.

NYC Yes

I also agree with Janimal, Punk and Carolina.

*blondiem* · May 2009

And Kel, seriously, what do you care what someone spends their hard earned money on?? I don't get it. You are arguing that people shouldn't be allowed to have cleaning ladys and enjoy the fruits of their labor??

I have been poor as hell. I ate Mac N Cheese as a staple food for 3 years of my life. But, dude. I am 30 years old, and I worked my ass off to get where I am. I waited 4 years to have a baby after getting married, and we saved and saved and saved for the first half of the 10 years we have been together.

I also work 45+ hours a week, so yeah, if I had to give up the girl who comes to clean once every 2 weeks, I would be upset.

Sue me.