Awful end to a stupid week. (vent)

HDxNxJ · May 2009

DH and I got into a fight last night because he decided to go out with the guys after work and NOT call me to tell me. So at 11:15pm I finally hear from him after being forwarded to voice mail and ignored by text.. that he is going for a few beers... whatever..

I go to bed and wake up from a terrible car screetch down the highway and I jumped out of bed to find him still not home at 1:30am. I text him no answer,, call him no answer.. finally he responds to me and tells me I am overreacting and my hormones are making me crazy..

I said its not the hormones its you. I have been having contractions for 2 weeks, can't get a good night sleep for the life of me and here I am overreacting...

I have no tollerance left for him and this crap. 2 weeks ago he didn't get home from one of these nights till 5:30am!

I have a right to be pissed. I am on 4 hours of sleep while he is at home sleeping since his work shift doesnt start till 2pm.

Vent over.

hula_lula · May 2009

Yes, you have EVERY right to be pissed. The very, very least he could do is tell you that he's going to be gone and be reachable.

UGH!

MidwestTexan · May 2009

I would be ticked off, too!

Thankfully my hubs is very good about keeping me in the loop...I appreciate that a lot!

SouthernBellelovesaYankee · May 2009

You have every right to be pissed, I would be pissed too!

I hope the weekend looks up for you!

kimmiedu · May 2009

My husband would have woken up with no balls if he did this. They need to be reachable (and not drunk) in the event you need them to take you to the hospital

mediadiva · May 2009

clearly he's not dealing well with impending fatherhood, thats so disrespectful not to let you know what he's going to be doing and when he would be home, even if plans change it's just respectful to let another person know in particular when you so late in a pregnancy. I hope he doesn't do this after you have the baby. My husbands dad did that crap.

RachaelNicole · May 2009

I would be pissed too. He should have been reachable so that you didn't have to worry about him.

On the flip side (not that I'm trying to defend him or anything), do you suppose he's stressed or anxious about having a baby since it's getting closer to your due date? Maybe this is his way of dealing with it, not that it's a good way. I had a similar situation with DH last week. Try to have a calm conversation with him and really listen to what he has to say. You might be surprised.

ExpatFamily06 · May 2009

I would be FUMING pi$$ed off! That would not fly with me at all!

MizMac · May 2009

This sounds like something my DH did frequently when we first moved in together ? he didn't like having to tell someone where he was or having to come home at a certain time, so when I would call him to see where he was he would just not answer his phone. ?Real mature! ?I don't think it's uncommon for certain types of men to behave this way when they are faced with serious life changes that threaten their feelings of freedom, but that doesn't make it right! ?I would very calmly try to explain to him that it is not just about him now, and he needs to be a.) reachable at all times and b.) not drunk in case something happens and he needs to take you to the hospital! ?Sometimes men can be way more selfish than we'd like to think ? they need to be reminded frequently.

mavilabride · May 2009

Totally not acceptable. Has he done this pre-pregnancy? It may just be a mini-freak out he's having over the baby coming. But its not an excuse for him to be out all night and not answering his phone.

kklickka · May 2009

My DH used to pull that kind of crap before we got married, and finally (after MANY fights about it) got to the point where he understands that it's just a basic show of respect for me to give me a call or send me a text to let me know what's going on. He knows that it's okay with me if he goes out (I'm not his mom, it's not my job to give him a curfew), but that he needs to let me know so I don't worry.

That being said...with you being pregnant and potentially going into labor at any moment, does he not realize that you might need to get ahold of him for a very good reason? And that he would probably rather not be drunk at the birth of his child? I would definitely be upset if I were you, and make it clear to him that his behavior is unacceptable.

I think men have the feeling that they don't want to be "controlled" by their wives, so they feel the need to rebel against us and act like assholes just to show that they can. Eventually (hopefully) he'll get to the point where he realizes that by calling or texting you he's not admitting that you're the boss, he's just showing respect (just as you would, I'm sure, if the situation were reversed).

Sorry this is so long, but I've been there and know how it feels!

~Soleil~ · May 2009

He should have a brain in his head by now to NOT do crap like that! I hope you lay into him about it.

emaria · May 2009

does he usually go out for drinks or is this a once in a blue moon sort of thing? i'm just wondering cause dh and i stopped this type of behavior before we got married (we both enjoyed heading out to the bars with friends when we were engaged - now we're not wasted at 2 a.m. callin our designated driver lol) but once you're committed to someone i feel your priorities should change. especially since you're pregnant! if this isn't a one time thing (or even if it is) you should really have a serious talk with him. otherwise he'll either be in for a rude awakening when the baby gets here or he'll continue to head out without keeping in contact with you. i'm sorry this happened but i'm sure it's fixable situation - i'm sure when you talk to him he'll understand your side of things! good luck!

Kathy616 · May 2009

I'd leave his sorry ass! I won't put up with that crap, he clearly has no respect for you at all. At least a phone call is warranted so you don't worry.

I'm luckly my DH would never consider doing anything without calling. I'm so sorry for your struggles, I hope things get better!!

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