Kirsten's post below made me realize that even though adoption and the journey to parenthood can be long and seem like we are going 'no where' - things are really happening.
Where were you one year ago and what progress have you made during this past year on your journey to parenthood?
US: One year ago we were frantically finalizing our wedding plans, and were looking at adoption and surrogacy options as we had talked about for years prior. During this past year, we confirmed that eggs can't be extracted at this time for surrogacy. We researched adoption agencies -> were accepted by our agency of choice -> completed our home study -> completed our profile -> have a great adoption community support network -> and will go active in a few weeks.
Re: s/o One Year Ago ....
Great question.....
This time last year we were almost done building our house and were knee deep in all sorts of fertility treatments......then after yet another m/c we through in the towel and started the journey into adoption.......and look at us now..........WAITING FOR A LITTLE BOY TO COME HOME IN A FEW MONTHS!!!!
I had just had surgery and wasn't cleared to drive, much less have sex. It put a *huge* damper on our baby-making plans.
Wow...one year ago...I was miserable at my job, we were right smack dab in the middle of fertility treatments (clomid, shots, etc) and our lives seem to revolve around my cycle. To get our minds off that we were volunteering with teens...
So in the past year....We threw in the towel with fertility treatments --> started researching different types of adoption --> settled on foster care to adopt --> I recently left my job --> started the foster care to adopt process...and we couldn't be happier with the path we're going down.
We were in the middle of IVF 2. I was responding great to the meds...even better than the egg donors. We got our PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) report the first week of May and it was horrendous. 90% of our embies were abnormal. We found out it failed a week later.
I frantically started making plans to go to Czech and we were on a plane June 30th. It was the last treatment we were willing to try before doing traditional domestic adoption. The rest is history
The Road Not Taken is often a much more joyful path :-)
These things are worth waiting for. When your child comes home it's going to be that much more amazing :-)
I know you mean well, and thanks for the sentiment, but I disagree. I think it would be more amazing if our kids were already home. I feel as if a year of our kids' lives has been stolen from us. Anyway, I'm really not railing on you. I'm just trying to show our perspective.
Candm, you were the first person I thought of when I saw this post. In fact, you are the person I always think about when I'm feeling down about the length of our process. To be honest, I don't know how you do it, and my heart breaks that you have to be separated from your children who so clearly need you. You help provide me strength and show me what true grace and patience are.
One year ago, we had just applied to our agency. Since then we've had our homestudy, received our USCIS approval, and completed our dossier. It has been translated and submitted to the Peruvian government. To be honest, things SHOULD have been faster. And that's not just my opinion--even our Peruvian lawyer couldn't fathom what was taking our agency so long to process things.
I know this post is supposed to shed light on all the progress we've made, but it also illuminates the fact that some of our children are waiting, and the governments and adoption personnel we work with just don't have the same sense of urgency we do. While I am happy we made progress, and I know that bringing our children home will be among the most amazing things that will ever happen in our lives, it doesn't negate the fact that the process could use some improving and tightening-up. I sometimes feel that the reason the adoption process is so slow to change and improve is because once families finalize, they delve into their family life and forget the importance of their continued involvement in the crusade for ethical, efficient adoptions.
IVF #1 1/10-transfered 2 blasts- DS born 10/2010
March 2015- Chemical pg
1/25/16- BFP Beta1 12dpo = 17, Beta 2 14 dpo = 28.. resulted in one beautiful boy born 9/21/16
Now I'm a stay at home loving life and pursuing my love of photography!!!
IVF #1 1/10-transfered 2 blasts- DS born 10/2010
March 2015- Chemical pg
1/25/16- BFP Beta1 12dpo = 17, Beta 2 14 dpo = 28.. resulted in one beautiful boy born 9/21/16
Now I'm a stay at home loving life and pursuing my love of photography!!!
Where were you one year ago and what progress have you made during this past year on your journey to parenthood?
great question!
We were 9 months into the ttc journey, and just a couple of months away from finding out we would need to seek help from an RE. Funny, i was just thinking about this in the shower this morning too. MH plays on a softball league, i silly me "assumed" i would have a DC this summer to be bringing to the games. I never, ever in a million years would have guessed that this is my journey, but now i'm more excited than ever for it!
:-( HUGS
This makes me wonder if there's anything that people who *aren't* doing IA can do to help get the system updated.
Ha. Ha. You would not being seeing grace if you saw me righ tnow. I'm in tears and spitting mad.
Yes, IA needs reform for efficiency. I need to start thinking about how to do that. it's a complicated issue considering the sovereignty issues. But it is INHUMAN to make adoptions take years when there are literally millions of children who need homes.