Adoption

s/o One Year Ago ....

Kirsten's post below made me realize that even though adoption and the journey to parenthood can be long and seem like we are going 'no where' - things are really happening.

Where were you one year ago and what progress have you made during this past year on  your journey to parenthood?

US: One year ago we were frantically finalizing our wedding plans, and were looking at adoption and surrogacy options as we had talked about for years prior. During this past year, we confirmed that eggs can't be extracted at this time for surrogacy. We researched adoption agencies -> were accepted by our agency of choice -> completed our home study -> completed our profile -> have a great adoption community support network -> and will go active in a few weeks.

 

Re: s/o One Year Ago ....

  • We too were preparing for our wedding in July, and so NOT thinking about children! Funny how much changes in a year.
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  • Great question.....

    This time last year we were almost done building our house and were knee deep in all sorts of fertility treatments......then after yet another m/c we through in the towel and started the journey into adoption.......and look at us now..........WAITING FOR A LITTLE BOY TO COME HOME IN A FEW MONTHS!!!!

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  • I had just had surgery and wasn't cleared to drive, much less have sex. It put a *huge* damper on our baby-making plans.

     

    Big Smile 

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  • Wow...one year ago...I was miserable at my job, we were right smack dab in the middle of fertility treatments (clomid, shots, etc) and our lives seem to revolve around my cycle.    To get our minds off that we were volunteering with teens...  

    So in the past year....We threw in the towel with fertility treatments --> started researching different types of adoption --> settled on foster care to adopt --> I recently left my job --> started the foster care to adopt process...and we couldn't be happier with the path we're going down. 

  • We were in the middle of IVF 2.  I was responding great to the meds...even better than the egg donors.  We got our PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) report the first week of May and it was horrendous.  90% of our embies were abnormal.  We found out it failed a week later. 

    I frantically started making plans to go to Czech and we were on a plane June 30th.  It was the last treatment we were willing to try before doing traditional domestic adoption.  The rest is history ;)

  • One year ago, I was trying to adjust to being back at work after maternity leave.  I was also loving every minute I could spend with my baby boy, who was just learning to hold up his head.   Today that "baby boy" and I walked around the neighborhood as he brought me various rocks and tried to catch ants.  It is amazing what a difference a year makes.   
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  • Ha.This is just going to make me bitter. One year ago we had just exited IBESR (Haitian Ministry of Social Welfare) after a 9 month stint. IBESR is the agency that approves Haitian adoptions. All we had left was legalization which took only a couple months, MOI (which was supposed to be 3 months max) and USCIS approval. I was SURE our kids would be home by Christmas 2008. Ha. Ha. Ha. joke was on me.
  • imagelilmufish:

    Wow...one year ago...I was miserable at my job, we were right smack dab in the middle of fertility treatments (clomid, shots, etc) and our lives seem to revolve around my cycle.    To get our minds off that we were volunteering with teens...  

    So in the past year....We threw in the towel with fertility treatments --> started researching different types of adoption --> settled on foster care to adopt --> I recently left my job --> started the foster care to adopt process...and we couldn't be happier with the path we're going down. 

    The Road Not Taken is often a much more joyful path :-)

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  • imagecandm:
    Ha.This is just going to make me bitter. One year ago we had just exited IBESR (Haitian Ministry of Social Welfare) after a 9 month stint. IBESR is the agency that approves Haitian adoptions. All we had left was legalization which took only a couple months, MOI (which was supposed to be 3 months max) and USCIS approval. I was SURE our kids would be home by Christmas 2008. Ha. Ha. Ha. joke was on me.

    These things are worth waiting for. When your child comes home it's going to be that much more amazing :-)

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  • imageEmmieB:

    imagecandm:
    Ha.This is just going to make me bitter. One year ago we had just exited IBESR (Haitian Ministry of Social Welfare) after a 9 month stint. IBESR is the agency that approves Haitian adoptions. All we had left was legalization which took only a couple months, MOI (which was supposed to be 3 months max) and USCIS approval. I was SURE our kids would be home by Christmas 2008. Ha. Ha. Ha. joke was on me.

    These things are worth waiting for. When your child comes home it's going to be that much more amazing :-)

    I know you mean well, and thanks for the sentiment, but I disagree. I think it would be more amazing if our kids were already home. I feel as if a year of our kids' lives has been stolen from us.  Anyway, I'm really not railing on you. I'm just trying to show our perspective.

  • imagecandm:
    Ha.This is just going to make me bitter. One year ago we had just exited IBESR (Haitian Ministry of Social Welfare) after a 9 month stint. IBESR is the agency that approves Haitian adoptions. All we had left was legalization which took only a couple months, MOI (which was supposed to be 3 months max) and USCIS approval. I was SURE our kids would be home by Christmas 2008. Ha. Ha. Ha. joke was on me.

    Candm, you were the first person I thought of when I saw this post.  In fact, you are the person I always think about when I'm feeling down about the length of our process.  To be honest, I don't know how you do it, and my heart breaks that you have to be separated from your children who so clearly need you.  You help provide me strength and show me what true grace and patience are.

    One year ago, we had just applied to our agency.  Since then we've had our homestudy, received our USCIS approval, and completed our dossier.  It has been translated and submitted to the Peruvian government.  To be honest, things SHOULD have been faster.  And that's not just my opinion--even our Peruvian lawyer couldn't fathom what was taking our agency so long to process things.

    I know this post is supposed to shed light on all the progress we've made, but it also illuminates the fact that some of our children are waiting, and the governments and adoption personnel we work with just don't have the same sense of urgency we do.  While I am happy we made progress, and I know that bringing our children home will be among the most amazing things that will ever happen in our lives, it doesn't negate the fact that the process could use some improving and tightening-up.  I sometimes feel that the reason the adoption process is so slow to change and improve is because once families finalize, they delve into their family life and forget the importance of their continued involvement in the crusade for ethical, efficient adoptions.

  • One year ago today, actually, we were arriving in Italy for a wonderful vacation. We were pulling suitcases through the alleys of Venice, very very lost. It was the official starting of trying to get pregnant. I never would have thought a year ago, I'd be where I am today and having traveled the path I did.?
  • One year ago today I was trying to plan Ben's 1st Birthday Party (June 3rd).  He was just about to start walking.  I was getting ready for the end of school and looking forward to summer vacation.
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  • One year ago i was trying to convince dh to start trying, we took a trip to gatlinburg wherehe said we could go ahead and start... then went was having 60 day periods, tested and diagnosed with pcos, pregnant in october with chemical pregnance, tested dh who had 0 percent normal morphology started looking into adoption in january, found out i was pregnant jan 30th, held off on adoption, miscarriage at 9wk1day, and now am doing more testing and trying to get the ball rolling for adoption/foster adopt
    1 chemical and 1 loss at 9 weeks prior to DS
    IVF #1 1/10-transfered 2 blasts- DS born 10/2010

    Trying for # 2 since 2012.  2 failed FETS 1 failed IUI.
    IUI#2 4/14/14-- BFP !!!!! Beta #1 14dpiui= 45 Beta #2 16dpiui= 80  Beta #3 18dpiui= 88 (chemical pregnancy)
    March 2015- Chemical pg

    1/25/16- BFP  Beta1 12dpo = 17, Beta 2 14 dpo = 28.. resulted in one beautiful boy born 9/21/16 :)

    Now I'm a stay at home loving life and pursuing my love of photography!!!
  • oh and i forgot the whole part of putting the condo ont he market in august, buying a house the week of thanksgiving, dh loosing his job in february..yeah what a year
    1 chemical and 1 loss at 9 weeks prior to DS
    IVF #1 1/10-transfered 2 blasts- DS born 10/2010

    Trying for # 2 since 2012.  2 failed FETS 1 failed IUI.
    IUI#2 4/14/14-- BFP !!!!! Beta #1 14dpiui= 45 Beta #2 16dpiui= 80  Beta #3 18dpiui= 88 (chemical pregnancy)
    March 2015- Chemical pg

    1/25/16- BFP  Beta1 12dpo = 17, Beta 2 14 dpo = 28.. resulted in one beautiful boy born 9/21/16 :)

    Now I'm a stay at home loving life and pursuing my love of photography!!!
  • Where were you one year ago and what progress have you made during this past year on  your journey to parenthood?

     

    great question!

    We were 9 months into the ttc journey, and just a couple of months away from finding out we would need to seek help from an RE. Funny, i was just thinking about this in the shower this morning too. MH plays on a softball league, i silly me "assumed" i would have a DC this summer to be bringing to the games. I never, ever in a million years would have guessed that this is my journey, but now i'm more excited than ever for it! 

  • imagecandm:
    imageEmmieB:

    imagecandm:
    Ha.This is just going to make me bitter. One year ago we had just exited IBESR (Haitian Ministry of Social Welfare) after a 9 month stint. IBESR is the agency that approves Haitian adoptions. All we had left was legalization which took only a couple months, MOI (which was supposed to be 3 months max) and USCIS approval. I was SURE our kids would be home by Christmas 2008. Ha. Ha. Ha. joke was on me.

    These things are worth waiting for. When your child comes home it's going to be that much more amazing :-)

    I know you mean well, and thanks for the sentiment, but I disagree. I think it would be more amazing if our kids were already home. I feel as if a year of our kids' lives has been stolen from us.  Anyway, I'm really not railing on you. I'm just trying to show our perspective.

    :-( HUGS

     


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  • imageCaptainSerious:

    imagecandm:
    Ha.This is just going to make me bitter. One year ago we had just exited IBESR (Haitian Ministry of Social Welfare) after a 9 month stint. IBESR is the agency that approves Haitian adoptions. All we had left was legalization which took only a couple months, MOI (which was supposed to be 3 months max) and USCIS approval. I was SURE our kids would be home by Christmas 2008. Ha. Ha. Ha. joke was on me.

    Candm, you were the first person I thought of when I saw this post.  In fact, you are the person I always think about when I'm feeling down about the length of our process.  To be honest, I don't know how you do it, and my heart breaks that you have to be separated from your children who so clearly need you.  You help provide me strength and show me what true grace and patience are.

    One year ago, we had just applied to our agency.  Since then we've had our homestudy, received our USCIS approval, and completed our dossier.  It has been translated and submitted to the Peruvian government.  To be honest, things SHOULD have been faster.  And that's not just my opinion--even our Peruvian lawyer couldn't fathom what was taking our agency so long to process things.

    I know this post is supposed to shed light on all the progress we've made, but it also illuminates the fact that some of our children are waiting, and the governments and adoption personnel we work with just don't have the same sense of urgency we do.  While I am happy we made progress, and I know that bringing our children home will be among the most amazing things that will ever happen in our lives, it doesn't negate the fact that the process could use some improving and tightening-up.  I sometimes feel that the reason the adoption process is so slow to change and improve is because once families finalize, they delve into their family life and forget the importance of their continued involvement in the crusade for ethical, efficient adoptions.

    This makes me wonder if there's anything that people who *aren't* doing IA can do to help get the system updated.

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  • imageCaptainSerious:

    Candm, you were the first person I thought of when I saw this post.  In fact, you are the person I always think about when I'm feeling down about the length of our process.  To be honest, I don't know how you do it, and my heart breaks that you have to be separated from your children who so clearly need you.  You help provide me strength and show me what true grace and patience are.

    . . .

    I know this post is supposed to shed light on all the progress we've made, but it also illuminates the fact that some of our children are waiting, and the governments and adoption personnel we work with just don't have the same sense of urgency we do.  While I am happy we made progress, and I know that bringing our children home will be among the most amazing things that will ever happen in our lives, it doesn't negate the fact that the process could use some improving and tightening-up.  I sometimes feel that the reason the adoption process is so slow to change and improve is because once families finalize, they delve into their family life and forget the importance of their continued involvement in the crusade for ethical, efficient adoptions.

    Ha. Ha. You would not being seeing grace if you saw me righ tnow. I'm in tears and spitting mad.

    Yes, IA needs reform for efficiency. I need to start thinking about how to do that. it's a complicated issue considering the sovereignty issues. But it is INHUMAN to make adoptions take years when there are literally millions of children who need homes.

  • Great post! One year ago we weren't thinking about children. We were planning our summer travels for the summer. We decided in late September that we were going to start researching agencies, we were just accepted into the agency we chose last week and now waiting for our contract to arrive.
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  • Great post! One year ago we weren't thinking about children. We were planning our summer travels for the summer of 08. We decided in late September that we were going to start researching agencies, we were just accepted into the agency we chose last week and now waiting for our contract to arrive.
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  • One year ago I was still thinking "Surely I will get pregnant any month now..."  That hopeful thinking didn't last long.
    *TTC since February 08* 2 IUIs that didn't take, exploratory LAP and hysterscopy in September 2010 that revealed nothing, means we're adopting! Preliminary paper work to agency & started home study in 11/10 Profiles to agency on 1/12/11 - Officially waiting! First home study visit scheduled for 1/29/11 Matched (Eek!) on 1/24/11 *Sweet baby boy born on 1/26/11* Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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