How open are you about IF?
I was like an open book after i was pg.....partly because i think DD is such a marvel of science and medicine. (and i am a pretty open person in general)
I also think that if there is someone else going through something that i experienced, i would want them to know that there is someone they can talk to.
However, when i start to undergo tx, i crawl into a hole. I don't want anyone knowing when we are going to try for #2......and let me tell ya, everyone asks! I feel like there is too much pressure on me. I don't want people asking me or calling to find out how the IVF went. I don't want work to get suspicious if i need to leave for appts. I just told DH that we were going to do the xfer 9/4 and i am petrified that he will blab it to someone.
I wish people just wouldn't ask :P
Re: How open are you about IF?
I'm open with family and friends, but with others I'm more private. With my twins I got a lot of intrusive question like Francisca mentioned so I was pretty selective about who I shared our history with.
This time around I had planned on keeping it pretty quiet, not even telling family until/unless we got pg. But now that my FET has been pushed backit looks like our transfer will happen right when a bunch of family is coming to visit. So we'll end up telling them since they'll be staying with us and will definitely notice something going on (especially since I have to drive 2 hours to LA for the transfer). On the upside, it's all the same people who were here visiting during my first IVF (my parents and my younger sister) so maybe they're being here will actually bring good luck!
I have gotten more and more private about it the longer it's taken. We told our parents when I got my diagnosis before DS but that was just to stop the inevitable questions. Both sets were itching for grandbabies.
I find that people mean well but if they haven't gone through it they don't know what to say and then inevitably say the wrong thing. They also want more info than I am comfortable sharing. When you let people in like that you include them in such a personal journey. No, I don't feel comfy sharing when my fertile period is and when my DH and I are humping like rabbits.
This is an incredibly intrusive and invasive process at the best of times, the last thing I want is other people, non medical people, either weighing in on my situation or feeling that because they know about my struggle that they are entitled to information.
Well, this is probably a stupid reason, but I am very open about it because DH wanted to be so secretive about it the first time. I respected his wishes, but it was 18 cycles of mostly keeping it to myself with not a ton of support from him. He was in law school and let's face it, it doesn't effect men the same way as us. Then my dad died two weeks before my due date. So I told DH I am not keeping any secrets this time around. I need all the support I can get, and I want everyone who cares to know from the beginning unless, God forbid, someone else dies.
So I have been talking it up to everyone from my grandma to my priest.
I'm VERY open about it. Personally, I think people who are "quiet" about it or lie about it only help the populations ignorance. We all complain about people not understanding treatments/meds, etc.......but if WE, the knowledgeable ones, don't speak up, then we only contribute to the population not "getting it."
I just think that IF is a very common issue and I think there is nothing to be ashamed of. Some people need help growing hair or saving their teeth, so what's wrong with educating and sharing our opinions with others on our IF issues?
ALL of my friends and family know about our struggles.....I have taught SO many friends (all of whom get PG on the first try!) about their cycles, how to get PG and about their bodies.....I enjoy educating others