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3rd Trimester
Worst night of my life.
I'm sorry, I'm sure no one is still on here and I'm usually a lurker. My husband took his life tonight. My mind is racing so much I can't sleep. I just wondered if anyone had been through this. My daughter was home when it happened. Any helpful words are appreciated. I just want to make sure my kids are taken care of. Where do I begin?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Worst night of my life.
Happily Married DH on 11/11/06
*My life revolves around a bunch of boys!*
Proud Mommy to these angels:
TP - Lost baby & my tube 10/12/14;
MM at 13 wks - March 2007 &
Rainbow babies:Omg.
I'm here...and awake. I'm so sorry to hear this. Is anyone there with you right now? I will respond and chat w/ you....
OMG... I am sooo sorry. I don't know what to say.... you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers! This is really tragic, please make sure you reach out to family or friends! Just remember someone is always here on the bump if you ever need to talk or just vent!
If you need somewhere to vent or just someone to talk to I will PM you my email address!!!!
Jesus.
I really think you should call someone. Anyone, and not be alone tonight. I know that might not seem like what you most want to do....but I can't imagine being alone after something so frightful. ((((((((huge hugs)))))))))
WHATEVER you do...DO NOT be alone tonight or for the next few days.
I recently went through the death of my DH and I made the mistake of wanting to be alone. Not a good idea.
You can write me at phatmom59@hotmail.com if you want to talk. I'm here.
Forget-Me-Nots: Alaska State Flower
Oh wow. I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry. The only thing I can think of is that you need to surround yourself with community right now. Do you have family or friends that will be with you through this? People who can take your daughter while you try to understand it all? Don't isolate yourself - it will only make things worse and it will only hurt your daughter in the long run.
Please use us as an outlet while you cope and wrestle and heal. We are hear to listen and support you.
Mama Jan's Kitchen... a food blog
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You and your daughter will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.
Happily Married DH on 11/11/06
*My life revolves around a bunch of boys!*
Proud Mommy to these angels:
TP - Lost baby & my tube 10/12/14;
MM at 13 wks - March 2007 &
Rainbow babies:Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I am numb and will be for a while. I know I have to continue on for my daughter and in a way I find comfort that my husband won't hurt anymore. My daughter and I on the other hand will. I sit on the bump 24/7 and although I primarliy lurk, I feel like I know all of you personally and just knew I would get lots of support from you ladies. All I can do is take it minute by minute and thank god that my daughter is sound asleep in the next room. I just want to squeeze her and never let go.
Minute by minute is the way to get through the very hardest of times. I'm so so sorry to hear you are at the beginning of this long, hard journey with your daughter and son. You're definitely in my prayers. And that email above... "phatmom"....that chick is seriously one of the best ever. If you're the type to reach out for support, she's definitely one I would recommend.
Listen to Flexie. Don't be alone and don't make the mistake of thinking you can "handle" it and "be strong" for your daughter and your little boy. Take time to grieve for yourself and for those babies too. I've never dealt with the same situation, losing a spouse to death, but my ex attempted suicide twice, with me walking in both times to "save the day" so to speak, and we spent a lot of time dealing with counseling for certain of his (and our) issues. I can't stress enough the need for counseling for someone to listen to you and be strong for you so you can have time to be weak and grieve.
I am so so sorry, for you and for your family. Please know that the Nest and the Bump are a family, albeit a virtual one, and everyone here prays for you as well.
OMG, Kristin I am so so sorry for your loss. Ugh, these are the times I wish you could reach out and hug someone through the computer screen. ((((hugs))))) I recently lost my mother who was my best friend in this world. My email address is mpezzuti@yahoo.com if you need another friend to talk to. I am sure you have a great family to help you but if you need someone to just vent to please email me!
Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Go and snuggle up with your little girl!
xoxoxo
I'm so sorry to hear this, its so sad. I'll be thinking of you.
oh wow, i'm really sorry to hear that.
In the days to come there will be a million things for you to do. Make sure that you take some time to just be with your daughter, to help her understand what happened and to regroup. She will need you so much...but remember that you have to take care of yourself too.
People will offer to help you in any way they can. Let them! Especially group like cops- tend to band together in tragedy. Let them support you, help you, cut the grass, fix the house, bring you dinner, whatever.
I am so sorry for your loss...my heart breaks for your family.
I am so very sorry to read this news. I thank God that you have family around and I hope that you continue to lean on them.
Keep coming back here and use us as much as you need to talk to.
I am so sorry. I cannot even imagine what you are going through.
I recently experienced the suicide of one of my friends. Even as an adult, I am still so confused, hurt, and very angry (he has two young children). I can't even imagine your daughter trying to process it. She needs to talk to a professional as soon as possible and you do as well. Suicide is one of those things you will probably never be able to understand.
The only advice I can give you is to tell your daughter it is alright if she is angry. Anger is one of the first emotions I felt and it is very normal.
I will be praying for you and your family.
I am so very sorry.
I don't have the words for you, but just know we're here for you. My heart goes out to you and your family.
I am SO SO SO sorry you are going through this.
My prayers are with all of you!
I went through something very similar to this, except we had no children involved. Finding somebody that way is a huge shock and you're right about being numb right now. There is a huge wave of emotions that will be flooding you very soon and having a good support system (which it sounds like you do) is so important for you. Somebody gave you good advise when she said let others help you when they offer to. Let them do whatever they offer to do. I absolutely recomend finding a counselor or therapist for yourself in the coming months.
You mentioned remembering the way your daughter was screaming when you came in. I can remember the way my mothers voice sounded on the phone when I called her to come to me and for a really long time, that haunted me. The only thing that really helped me with that was talking to her about it. Now I know you can't talk to your daughter about that, but maybe you could talk to your mom about it if you guys are close. Not necessarily right now, but if it continues to eat at you.
If there is anything at all that you need to talk about, I'm at sarahbethrn@yahoo.com. I would absolutly be there to give you all I have. Good luck. God bless you.