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Parenting
Why do people care how many children people have?
I was having a conversation with a few friends and we started talking about our families. (We all have 2 children who are all born within a month or so of each other (2 of them born on the same day - 23 minutes apart!)
Anyways, the number of children we all planned on having came up - the two of them are done. When I said we would like to have one more it was almost as they both gained up on me. 2 is perfect, you're not outnumbered, more than 2 and you'll go broke, 3 is the odd man out, I hope you're not trying for a boy because you already have 2 girls, you'll have another, etc etc.
I let them know that two may be what works for them, and if it is in the plans for us to only have 2 then so be it, but we would like three. What we want doesn't have to be what they want. Our family is not complete. There's may be, but ours is not. And that is all that matters.
It seems like others I have talked to IRL are shocked when I say we want three, like it is insane.
What is the big deal about three? Moms of three, what am I missing?
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Re: Why do people care how many children people have?
Hello Daaaaahling. I havent talked with you in forever?????!!!!
As far as three goes, for most I would say, it is unimagineable. 2 are a lot to handle for most so they (myself included) coulnt fathom 3. I think they werent intending on making you feel bad they were just expressing how they couldnt do it and went about it in a less than tactful way.
If you want three, I say go for it! You only know what is right for your family.
OMG 3 was nuts for me lol and it wasnt planned either. The last 2 were only 16 months apart so it was a bit rough at first....kinda like a 3 ring circus and I was the ring master. But I wouldnt have it any other way. Now that I have 4 & wish we could have another people look at me like I'm nuts.
I want three too. I was one of three, and I liked the dynamic. I do think that three qualifies as a big family nowadays. Very few people I know IRL want more than 2.
The only time I 'care' how many children people have is when having more is a disservice to the current children. For example, I had a student who was one of three. The parents were barely making it financially, and the kids suffered. Yet she was pregnant with #4 when I left. Yes, I judge her and Octomom who have more kids when they can't afford it. It's simply not fair to the kids.