Ugh... DH Vent - am I being crazy?!

JennlovesAustin · March 2009

Ok, so back in July, we bought a brand new Nissan 350Z convertible. We live in the south and it was our "splurge" car. It's a great car. It was pretty darn expensive.

FAST FORWARD TO TODAY:

Now I am pregnant. DH has made a list of things (mostly high risk) that he wants to do including sky diving, etc. but he wants to take our brand new car and RACE IT IN AN AUTOCROSS RACE TOMORROW.

I told him that I would like our car to remain in tact and I would like a father for our baby. He is pissed I said no.

I ask you - crazy lady pregnancy hormones or rational judgement?? WWYD?

4realyo · March 2009

uhm i would let him. actually, no i would be the one racing.

second if its a convertible, do you have rollcage installed? if the racing doesnt require a rollcage, then its not even really dangerous.

AMYfromKY · March 2009

Totally rational. ?I wouldn't let DH do anything "adventurous" especially now!

MrsDT · March 2009

Has he done it before? Does he know what he's doing? My husband does racing some times (at least he used to) and it is pretty safe. But it does ruin your tires

Kie310 · March 2009

I wouldn't care if my husband wanted to race - but he wouldn't be doing it with one of our cars!

MissyC979 · March 2009

Hmmm...that's a little strange. Did he just recently make this list? It sounds like he might be a little nervous about how life-changing a baby may be. Do you get that impression at all? (I'm not trying to be judgmental in any way, it just sounds like mid-life crisis type behavior, you know?)

LTF525 · March 2009

rational judgement. Unless he has $ in savings to replace the car, there would be no racing it in my house.

I also wouldn't let him skydive, JMHO.

MrsDT · March 2009

4realyo:
uhm i would let him. actually, no i would be the one racing.

second if its a convertible, do you have rollcage installed? if the racing doesnt require a rollcage, then its not even really dangerous.

thats a good point. In the races my husband does he is required to have a roll cage, 5 point harness, fireproof suit, helmet, etc. The ones wear he can take his own car on the track (which he will not be doing anymore since he ruined the tires last time!) he isn't required to have that stuff but it is a really tame "race"- there are specific rules about passing, etc.

MiniMir · March 2009

Uh NOT crazy. DH is crazy for risking bodily harm and major financial stress while he is about to become a father. Hello! He needs a thwack upside the head.

Impending parenthood is scary. He just needs to find some less risky ways to process.

4realyo · March 2009

but i would NOT be OK with skydiving.

MrsDonk · March 2009

I agree with you on this one.

MSC03 · March 2009

There's no way we'd be racing our own cars. No way.

Someone else's car with safety gear? Sure.

wlknsnlrn · March 2009

Is he talking about one on one or is it a bunch of cars. A bunch of cars i would def say NO but one on one...why not. He will feel very happy if you decide to let him.

JennlovesAustin · March 2009

MrsDT:
Has he done it before? Does he know what he's doing? My husband does racing some times (at least he used to) and it is pretty safe. But it does ruin your tires

No - he has never done anything like it before - never even taken a defensive driving course or anything.

bat stafuny · March 2009

MrsDT · March 2009

JennlovesAustin:
MrsDT:
Has he done it before? Does he know what he's doing? My husband does racing some times (at least he used to) and it is pretty safe. But it does ruin your tires

No - he has never done anything like it before - never even taken a defensive driving course or anything.

In that case it must be something very tame. For a "real" race you have to take (and pass) a course. Racing on the track is very different than driving on the street, there is a lot to learn. I drove on the track once during driving school (with my husband in the car) and it is surprisingly difficult. I'd let him try it

lumbride · March 2009

I have a dh that sounds a LOT like yours! I can totally understand your position (I'd have the same one). Has he taken "racing" lessons?

JennlovesAustin · March 2009

FOR CLARIFICATION: It's timed trials - not a bunch of cars at the same time. It's not that I think he is going to die really - its more that the races ruin your tires and can cause possible damage to the car that we cannot afford right now. Plus, there is obviously a slight possiblity of injury of course.

imavera · March 2009

MrsSummitCounty:

There's no way we'd be racing our own cars. No way.

Someone else's car with safety gear? Sure.

Exactly how I feel.

juietbride · March 2009

I would so say no to DH if he suggested this, but I have become a fuddy duddy since having DS.

050507BRIDE · March 2009

MrsSummitCounty:

There's no way we'd be racing our own cars. No way.

Someone else's car with safety gear? Sure.

Exactly!

4realyo · March 2009

JennlovesAustin:
FOR CLARIFICATION: It's timed trials - not a bunch of cars at the same time. It's not that I think he is going to die really - its more that the races ruin your tires and can cause possible damage to the car that we cannot afford right now. Plus, there is obviously a slight possiblity of injury of course.

MrsDT · March 2009

JennlovesAustin:
FOR CLARIFICATION: It's timed trials - not a bunch of cars at the same time. It's not that I think he is going to die really - its more that the races ruin your tires and can cause possible damage to the car that we cannot afford right now. Plus, there is obviously a slight possiblity of injury of course.

That makes sense, it really does a lot of damage to your tires. As far as risk of injury at something like that- very very very low. I think he has a better chance of getting injured in his car driving to work

4realyo · March 2009

JennlovesAustin:
FOR CLARIFICATION: It's timed trials - not a bunch of cars at the same time. It's not that I think he is going to die really - its more that the races ruin your tires and can cause possible damage to the car that we cannot afford right now. Plus, there is obviously a slight possiblity of injury of course.

if the timed trials are done at a race track (which im assuming they are) he MUST have a rollcage installed in the car if its a convertible. no exceptions. so let him and he wont be allowed to do it anyways. trust me, ive tried. they wont even except 'light bars' (which my convertible mustang has). it has to be full on steel rollcage.

4realyo · March 2009

and it really doesnt do damage to your tires unless u sit there and do a burnout in the bleach for 15 minutes. and no offense, a 350z is a cool car, but its not exactly hard to hang.

MrsDT · March 2009

my husband definitely ruined his tires last time he took them to the track but it wasn't for autocross. Also autocross does not have to be at a track. My husband went to one recently that was just in some parking lot (somewhere in Daytona I think) with cones. He took his regular car (no kind of roll cage whatsoever) and so did 3 of his friends. And come to think of it, I'm pretty sure he came back from that with minimal tire damage. That might be the type of thing your husband wants to go to

JennlovesAustin · March 2009

4realyo:

JennlovesAustin:
FOR CLARIFICATION: It's timed trials - not a bunch of cars at the same time. It's not that I think he is going to die really - its more that the races ruin your tires and can cause possible damage to the car that we cannot afford right now. Plus, there is obviously a slight possiblity of injury of course.

if the timed trials are done at a race track (which im assuming they are) he MUST have a rollcage installed in the car if its a convertible. no exceptions. so let him and he wont be allowed to do it anyways. trust me, ive tried. they wont even except 'light bars' (which my convertible mustang has). it has to be full on steel rollcage.

Hmmm... good call. I just read the rules and they require a roll bar.

MissyC979 · March 2009

I think the strange thing is that he wants to engage in risky behavior now that you're pregnant. That's the thing that would annoy me the most...

nikinikinine · March 2009

I would say no too. Race a go cart, leave the expensive car out of it.

JennlovesAustin · March 2009

MissyC979:
I think the strange thing is that he wants to engage in risky behavior now that you're pregnant. That's the thing that would annoy me the most...

I agree - and that's also what's annoying to me. I got pregnant and now I have to be cautious so that you can be less cautious... hmm... not happy about that!

Maybe I will ask to start alligator wrestling or bull riding and see what he says to that..

MrsDT · March 2009

Here is a picture of the one my husband went to:

See? very tame

JennlovesAustin · March 2009

MissyC979:
Hmmm...that's a little strange. Did he just recently make this list? It sounds like he might be a little nervous about how life-changing a baby may be. Do you get that impression at all? (I'm not trying to be judgmental in any way, it just sounds like mid-life crisis type behavior, you know?)

We made a "goals" list - top ten goals in the next 5 years. Mine included things like have a baby, pay off our student loans, etc. His included have a baby as #1 and then car racing, sky diving, surfing lessons, etc.

Hahaha... apparantly we are not 100% on the same page.

MrsDT · March 2009

JennlovesAustin:
MissyC979:
I think the strange thing is that he wants to engage in risky behavior now that you're pregnant. That's the thing that would annoy me the most...

I agree - and that's also what's annoying to me. I got pregnant and now I have to be cautious so that you can be less cautious... hmm... not happy about that!

Maybe I will ask to start alligator wrestling or bull riding and see what he says to that..

It is NOT dangerous. He is in much more danger driving to work or anywhere else, where there are actually other cars on the road, intersections, stop signs, it is not a controlled environment, etc.

MissyC979 · March 2009

JennlovesAustin:
MissyC979:
Hmmm...that's a little strange. Did he just recently make this list? It sounds like he might be a little nervous about how life-changing a baby may be. Do you get that impression at all? (I'm not trying to be judgmental in any way, it just sounds like mid-life crisis type behavior, you know?)

We made a "goals" list - top ten goals in the next 5 years. Mine included things like have a baby, pay off our student loans, etc. His included have a baby as #1 and then car racing, sky diving, surfing lessons, etc.

Hahaha... apparantly we are not 100% on the same page.

Wow, that is a little different! I would just keep talking to him to make sure he realizes that he still gets to have fun once baby comes.

staycee · March 2009

DH races cars. He had to take classes for it. He also does NOT use our cars. Just special race ones. And he's been doing it for 10+ years and is very experienced at it.

JennlovesAustin · March 2009

staycee:
DH races cars. He had to take classes for it. He also does NOT use our cars. Just special race ones. And he's been doing it for 10+ years and is very experienced at it.

Right - and if he took a class and raced someone else's car I would be fine. In fact, the guy that invited him is bugging me to let him go and I said he could go if he could drive someone else's car!

MrsDT · March 2009

JennlovesAustin:
staycee:
DH races cars. He had to take classes for it. He also does NOT use our cars. Just special race ones. And he's been doing it for 10+ years and is very experienced at it.

Right - and if he took a class and raced someone else's car I would be fine. In fact, the guy that invited him is bugging me to let him go and I said he could go if he could drive someone else's car!

did you see my picture above? he does not need a class to do autocross and it shouldn't do any damage to the car

JennlovesAustin · March 2009

MrsDT:
JennlovesAustin:

staycee:
DH races cars. He had to take classes for it. He also does NOT use our cars. Just special race ones. And he's been doing it for 10+ years and is very experienced at it.

Right - and if he took a class and raced someone else's car I would be fine. In fact, the guy that invited him is bugging me to let him go and I said he could go if he could drive someone else's car!

did you see my picture above? he does not need a class to do autocross and it shouldn't do any damage to the car

Ok, so let me ask a stupid question - what if he hits a cone and it gets stuck? Can't that break the axle or damage the undercarriage??

MrsDT · March 2009

I really don't think it would get stuck- he would either run it over (and thats if he hit it straight on, and honestly who would do that? not even me) or just knock it over b/c he grazed it (more likely).

staycee · March 2009

if any damage gets done to your personal car, how is that covered by insurance. I would think it's possible that there may be no coverage for "racing".

JennlovesAustin · March 2009

staycee:
if any damage gets done to your personal car, how is that covered by insurance. I would think it's possible that there may be no coverage for "racing".

Right - and that's why I am concerned. Obviously a 2 seat convertible is not a great baby car so we will be looking to sell soon. I don't even want racing wear and tear and I definitely don't want to pay for any damage out of pocket.

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