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3rd Trimester
Sxia
member
Samantha Skye - Aug 30, 2006 AND Maxwell Griffin - April 14, 2009
Probably flamable post about mixed race families
Sxia
member
When I look at John and Kate (the clip posted before) and I see all those kids and NONE of them look like the mother. Then I look at my cousins, and see that the one that married and had kids with a woman of the same race (white) have kids that look like both him and his wife. My cousin who is married to a black woman, his kids all look like his wife. And my other two cousins who are married to great guys, one hispanic and one Filipino, I just think that their kids have basically no chance of looking like them.
It kind of makes me sad. Now, I know this post will probably bite me in the ass, and my DD looks like DH's clone anyway, and I obviously love her to death and think she's adorable, but I wonder if anyone wishes their kids looked more like them. I feel like, for the most part, when it's a mixed-race couple, one parent is "definitely" the parent and the other could be.. an uncle? An aunt? A babysitter?
I feel a little sad for the parent who is not (by physical resemblance) obviously related to the child, and a little sad that people like me even wonder about this. I know I shouldn't even think about it. Like I said, DD looks exactly like DH. (My neighbor said I must have "just been the suitcase!")
Samantha Skye - Aug 30, 2006 AND Maxwell Griffin - April 14, 2009
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Probably flamable post about mixed race families
It's not so much as race as it is dominant genes...
DH is Italian and I am Irish...my genes are pretty much going to get their butts kicked...but it's fine with me!
i don't think it's a bad thing to want your child to resemble you - it's a neat thing when it happens... and it's part of an innate bonding that parents have with babies.
my ex BF who i almost married was 1/2 cuban and 1/2 philipino - i had pretty much resolved that our kids would never look like me- and i was OK with that- b/c i knew i'd love them no matter what of course.
My DH is irish and pale like me- and my DS is a total 50/50 mix of the two of us- and i think that is really cool.
Ditto. I also think that people that the person with the less doiminant gene goes into the relationship knowing that and probably doesnt care about who the child looks like.
Right, because the reason for having kids is so they look like you.
Sorry, but I can't imagine being sad my child doesn't look like me.
FYI - MH has dark brown hair and brown eyes, I have light brown/blond hair and blue eyes. DD is a complete toe-head and has blue eyes. We never would have imagined that she would be MY copy, but she is. I am hoping that #2 will be a copy of DH
I should add, a good friend is half Mexican and half Irish... all the kids in her family look more Mexican. Her son, though (his dad is some sort of Eastern European mix) is blond and blue-eyed and does not look Mexican at all. His father's genes really won out over hers.
Genes are freaky like that!
My sister (blonde hair blue eyes) had a child with her SO who is african american, he has pretty dark skin. My nephew looks a lot like both of them and sometimes I think he looks more like her.
I don't mean to sound corny but that is such a beautiful comment!
My DH is mixed race and as a child he looked just like his chinese mother but as an adult he looks like a perfect combination of his white father and chinese mother. So even if the child doesn't look like one parent as a child, that doesn't mean that their adult characteristic won't look like both parents.
And since i'm all white, I honestly have no idea what characteristics our children will take on. However, I would be really happy if they took on DH's darker skin tone and dark eyes. I don't want them to get sunburned as much as i did as a child because of my pale irish skin! Not to mentioned i think my DH is a hot so it wouldn't be a bad thing if our DS ended up looking like DH. :-)
My parents are both caucasian. Mom is blonde and blue eyed. Dad is redhead and blue eyed. Both have very fair skin. When I was born, I had darker skin and BLACK hair. The nurses even assumed that my dad was of a different race. When they saw him, they were shocked. I'm not sure where the dark hair came from but it didn't last. By the time I was a year old my hair had all fallen out and turned blonde. My skin is far and had only been darker due to a blood condition I had.
Anyway, I think all of this is just silly. If you care too much whether or not your kids will look like you more than your DH then maybe you're not mature enough to be reproducing.
What about the people who DO adopt? They obviously don't have these feelings and I think its just crazy. We just asume because of genetics that our kids will look like us or DHs or some other family memeber but that is not even always the case. And how about the siblings who look nothing alike? I don't think people should think or question whether or not a child "belongs" to a certain person or not. All families are different.
Couldnt have said it better except my husband is from mexico. My dd has dark hair, dark brown eyes and the most beautiful skin tone that i would have to tan for ever for and never get. I love it that she has those features and i can't wait to see what my son with look like.
Hahah! It's true! I just love him so much that I know if DS looks like him I will just melt away
Wow. That's all I can say right now.
Wow.
ditto!
almost all of FI's cousins are clones of their fathers. Darn those italian genes hehe
Seriously...WTF is wrong with you people! WTF does it matter what color someone's skin is? Babysitter? Uncle? Jesus Christ on a bike...
OMG! You know what? I have a friend who adopted a baby and it looks nothing like her! Too bad...I mean why would she want a baby that doesn't look like her. She'll regret it forever and always wonder 'what if'.
The fact that so many of you didn't see anything wrong with this post makes me sick to my stomach.
Yup producing children that look like you = goal of having babies.
Parents love their children no matter how they join the family and no matter who they look like.
My DD looks nothing like me. I have never been "sad" or "disappointed" by her for one second.
I don't know how you can have a child and not know this. "Momma" is 100% certain for a child. There is no doubt about who a child's mother is. Just watch the interaction. Never a question....
No flame here, but I'm having a mixed race baby.
I'm Irish/Scottish (can't get much paler then me) and DH is half Irish and half Thai. I'm expecting the Asian gene to be strong, but I agree with the above posts that it's really about genetics.
DH's brother has twin boys and is also married to someone who is caucasian, one twin looks more Asian (actually he looks like he could be my husbands more then my BIL's) and the other twin has lighter skin and hair like my SIL and really doesn't look Asian at all.
DH and I both have brown hair and brown eyes (though mine have gotten more hazel have I've gotten older) so I'm pretty sure I won't be having a blonde/blue eyed child regardless.
Don't feel sad for me. I have perfection.
That face is amazing. She is stunning.
I know that you don't have a kid to have a copy of you. I outright flame anyone who has kids just to fuel their own ego. If DS looks exactly like DH and DD, I might be slightly, yes, SLIGHTLY jealous, but I would never think less of any of them. I think DH is gorgeous and I am completely in love with both of my kids, no matter what.
And I'm not saying anything like, "I wish all kids looked caucasian" or anything horrible like that. I just wonder if when one parent looks exactly like their kids and the other parent looks like (to quote another poster) "the nanny" they feel bad at all. I would be devastated if anyone assumed I wasn't DD's mom.
(And yes, I know plenty of adopted kids, and I wasn't thinking of it from the child's viewpoint, I was thinking about it from an outsider's viewpoint. I could totally look at DD and my friend (DD's godmother, who looks NOTHING like her) and think, "she could be DD's mom" just from the interaction.
And is there something wrong with just talking about race/looks of a baby?
Samantha Skye - Aug 30, 2006 AND Maxwell Griffin - April 14, 2009
Brahim Bride, I'm sorry that I offended you. Your daughter is beautiful.
Samantha Skye - Aug 30, 2006 AND Maxwell Griffin - April 14, 2009
Read the above parts that I bolded. Maybe that will help clue you in on how what you wrote could be offensive.
But honestly...I'm more annoyed at the fact that no one called you out on this. Why should race matter. Ever.
Exactly.
Sorry. I clearly have stuck my foot waaaaay in my mouth. I'm sorry I offended some of you and I should never mention race or looks or genes. I guess it doesn't matter at all and I got my answer. And of course I love my daughter. Just check how many pics of her I have around my desk here at work. I think she's clearly the most beautiful girl in the world, and I should have just asked myself would any other mother think anything differently of their kids.
Samantha Skye - Aug 30, 2006 AND Maxwell Griffin - April 14, 2009
My LO will be half-Jewish, mixed race technically but not really in the sense you are talking. One thing about mixed race is they usually = beautiful babies.
Everyone says they want the baby to have my blue eyes but I know that probably will not be and am excited about the baby looking like DH. Whether I'll be upset if there's not one feature like me...I'll have to see but I'm sure there will be other traits. And those who adopt don't have any expectations like that and still love their children very much. So, you have to be in a person's shoes to really understand whether they are disappointed deep down. Also, I would be more disappointed if LO doesn't look like DH.