Toddlers: 24 Months+

What should I do? DS bitten in daycare

It happened twice today.  First, ds had a ball that the other kid wanted.  When ds wouldn't give it to him, the kid reached over and bit ds on his arm.  They separated the kid and told him not to bite.   Then they put the kid back with the others.  Ok- it happened- it's over, right?

A few hours later, the kid went over to ds and bit him for no reason on his face.  This time it was a huge bit with redness and swelling and the outline of teeth marks (but didn't break the skin).  They called me right away and told me what happened and apologized.  They told me they called the kids' parents and are having a meeting. 

Here's the kicker- they told me they have done that before because the kid used to bite.  It stopped until today. 

This is a daycare center (not in-home) and really, really well run (normally). 

Should I do anything?  I know kids get hurt sometimes but should I demand the kid be moved?  Can I even make such a demand?  Just trying to get your thoughts on this because I don't know anyone who has been injured like this in a daycare.

My poor ds- the first week he cried for me.  The 2nd week he got sick.  The 3rd week he got pink eye.  Now the 4th week he gets bitten.  He's going to hate me!!!

Here's what he looks like

image

3 IUI's and 2 IVF's later- Brady arrived. Born at 36 weeks after PUPPS and pre-e/HELLP.
IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image


Re: What should I do? DS bitten in daycare

  • oh no! Poor DS.

    I don't know if you can make the demand that he be removed, but I would anyways. My son isnt in daycare, so I am not sure how they work, but I would be B/S if there was a previous problem and then it's happening again. Is it the 'new kid' that he's goin after?

  • Loading the player...
  • It sounds like they are doing a good job of dealing with it. They were there/saw it each time - the 1st time separated and reprimanded, and the second time called both sets of parents. The kid had done it before, but it also sounds like they dealt with it then and assumed it had stopped (and it had stopped for a while).

    Biting is not uncommon. DS has been bitten twice thus far - once at daycare and once at a playdate (the playdate one was brutal - broke the skin and he had the mark for over two weeks).

    It is hard to see your kid get hurt, especially when he has been having a tough time already since he started. I'm sorry :( For now, I would stay involved - get follow up from the meeting and see what steps the daycare is taking. If the kid keeps biting that is when you want to think about next steps.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Our daycare has a 3 strikes you're out policy on biting.  They will 'suspend' the kid after the third time.  I am hoping that DD is not a biter!

    If there is an opportunity to move your DS, why not ask? 

    Sorry things have been so rough for him!

  • Poor DS!!!

    :::hangs head::: I was a biter :(

  • From what they said at daycare, it's not because ds is the new kid.  It's just a problem with the kid.  I know that kid doesn't understand not biting - I mean they're only 16 months old so I'm trying to be reasonable but of course no one wants their kid hurt or crying. 

     Thanks for your input so far- keep it coming!!!

    3 IUI's and 2 IVF's later- Brady arrived. Born at 36 weeks after PUPPS and pre-e/HELLP.
    IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image


  • WOW!  That bite looks pretty bad!  I don't want to scare you but you might want to call the pedi.  You said it didn't break the skin, but you might want to double-check to see if there is anything special you need to do to help it heal without scarring.

    As for what to do...I actually think the daycare is doing a good job of handling the situation.  I would probably talk to them and see what happens next.  How will they handle it if this kid bites again?  What will they do to keep your DS safe in the future?  If you're satisfied that they are doing everything they can, I would just let them handle it.  Since this was the first day it was an issue and they seem to be trying to handle it, I don't think it would be fair to demand that the child is removed.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Oh, I agree with calling the pedi if any skin was broken. DS actually bit ME once a long time ago and broke the skin and my Dr was very concerned that I had a recent tetanus shot. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • FWIW...I worked in a daycare center in a 2 year old room full time for a while, and we had to watch kids for biting. We had one kid in particular that would lash out at kids for seemingly no reason (sometimes over toys) and bite hard. We started giving him extra one on one attention and he stopped. I'm not sure if the teachers know much about the kids personal backgrounds. The kid I was dealing with was fostered and going through some visitation with one parent and things were just rough. Maybe there is a personal reason that this child is lashing out at other children? Just a thought.
    Blake 04/29/05 Will 06/12/07 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Unfortunately, biting is developmentally appropriate for toddlers. I think your center is handling it well. Stay involved, and make sure you let them know your concerns. I hope he heals quickly!
  • I know it must be hard to see your toddler hurt, but it really sounds like your center is dealing with this appropriately. Biting happens with kids that age and as long as your DCP is taking immediate and appropriate action, I wouldn't be asking for the child to be moved just yet.
    image
    Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
  • Dd has been bitten, once the daycare saw it (she was 10 mos, the other child roughly the same age). Once I was getting her undressed for her bath and she had a clear bit mark, two teeth on top, 3 on the bottom. It was under her shirt on her arm, and apparently she didn't cry when it happened (or they didn't realize why she was upset) at the time. They knew exactly who it was. Biting is very common for sometime. It sounds like your daycare is on top of it. If I were you, I would follow up with the daycare and see what they plan to do with the biter.?

    There is a book about biting, it goes something like "Don't bite your mom, bite an apple" Friends are for fun, hitting is for a drum... really lame, but they read it to the kids and show them where these behaviors are appropriate. ?

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • Thanks everyone- believe me I will be checking up on the other kid daily!  I'll just sit tight and see how they deal with him.
    3 IUI's and 2 IVF's later- Brady arrived. Born at 36 weeks after PUPPS and pre-e/HELLP.
    IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image


  • They can't remove kids from classrooms or even schools for biting. IDK what the rule is at our school but I know I read it and was like daymn they don't play when it comes to biters.

    Poor DS his little face looks sore. Logan got bit on the forehead by a kid at his 1st school. On picture day too! Grrr

  • I'm sorry he got hurt! That's awful and I would be upset too.

    However, I don't think you can demand he be moved. Where would he go? And a meeting with the parents won't help that much either. It is really up to the daycare teacher to provide very close supervision.

    As awful as biting is because it leaves a mark, I don't think it is any worse than hitting or pushing or other aggressive behavior. If your son would have been hit by this kids twice, you probably wouldn't even know about it, because it doesn't cause the same injury. If I were you I would just stress that you need the teacher to really supervise the biter. Unfortunately, I think this is just part of daycare.

     

    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Sorry your son was bitten but as a lot of others have said, biting is really common at this age and their really is nothing that you can do.  It sounds to me like your daycare is taking all the right steps.  One of my friends son is a bitter and has bitten my DD and a few others a number of times in the 2 1/2 years that they have all been together.  Both sets of parents get incident reports sent home, the director signs all of these so she is aware of what is going on.  You get called if its really bad but otherwise just told at pick-up.  The kids are always separated and talked to and handled in very age approiapte manner.  Both of my girls have been bitten and my older DD has bitten a few times.  It is jsut part of being this age and the reasons for biting are so many from teething pain to wanting a toy to just wanting attention.  When the kids don't have the language to verbalize what they want, they hit or bite.  I'm not really sure that the parent meeting is going to do anything as I'm sure the parents are aware of the situation and doing what they can but they are not there with their child when this happens.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"