My FLAME of the day: Lazy Parents.

DandR · February 2009

I get SOOOOO pissed when I drop Taylor off at Pre-K. I usually see 2 or 3 cars in the parking lot with babies/toddlers left alone while the parent drops the kid off. Sure, its a 3 minute drop off...walk them inside and walk out again, but if I have the other two, I sure as hell get them out and make them walk inside with me....it adds all of 3 minutes to the drop off. And my nanny is required to do the same when she picks Taylor up (and she willingly does this and has mentioned her shock at the other mom's who leave their kids in the car).

This morning I actually saw a kid in the car...had enough time to go in, come back out and the car with the kid was still there...so I sat and waited. Apparently the parent had to talk to the teacher. And when she came back, I said "don't worry, I watched your kid!" with a dirty look and left.

I think they think we live in a good area of town and nothing will happen, but still! Who's to say that I am a good person! (I am...don't worry!)

The only exception is a group of moms...3 or 4, who have rallyed together and take turns watching each others cars. They park sort of in the far corner of the lot, and one takes the preschool kids in while the other 2 or 3 sit outside and watch the cars/kids. Great idea...they have babies, I understand. SOMEONE is watching their kid...and in turn they watch the kids the next time.

Why the others don't ask if they can join that "group", I don't know......

I just want to yell "QUIT BEING LAZY AND TAKE THE BABY/TODDLER IN WITH YOU!"

Evil Widgets · February 2009

Hmm..I mostly agree with this post.

Except..there was a portion of time..with an infant not in a carrier..and DS1 not really old enought to follow my directions..that I would go out and load them one at a time into the building..or into my car. I was not capable of taking them both out...and making sure DS1 wasn't running out into the parking lot.

stacynikki · February 2009

Same goes for gas stations. I still can't believe that people leave their babies and toddlers in the car just to run into the gas station. Don't these people watch the news?!?!?!

katie277s · February 2009

At my old daycare, my issue was people parking in the handicap space to be closer to the door. Seriously??? You can't walk the extra 10 steps and park in a regular spot?

sweetie1528 · February 2009

that is horrible and scary. WTF is wrong with people. who cares that its a good area? a child can be abducted anywhere!

JOEBunny · February 2009

I don't think this is a huge deal, as long as they are strapped in car seats, the cars are not on, it is not too hot or too cold. I just do not live in fear of someone stealing my child, anymore than I live in fear of her being bitten by a shark. The odds are roughly the same.

stacynikki · February 2009

Katie- people park right in front of the door at our daycare which sometimes makes it difficult to back your car out. It irritates me that they are too lazy to park at the far end and walk like the rest of us when there are no spots up front!

kevschickee2 · February 2009

that is just awful I cant stand parents like that

JenniC1135 · February 2009

Normally I agree with you, but I've done it a couple of times. It wasn't out of laziness, it was out of feeling guilty that dropoff or wake-up seems to always interfere with Adam's naps. When he was in the carrier, I could bring him in, but now that he's in the convertible, if he's exhausted and just fell asleep, I don't wake him, because he doesn't stay asleep or go back to sleep when I move him. It's not his fault they go to school, and he needs his naps. So yeah, I have left him sleeping in the locked van while I go in to pick them up on the bad weather days when they aren't on the playground at dismissal time.

butterbeansmama · February 2009

JOEBunny:
I don't think this is a huge deal, as long as they are strapped in car seats, the cars are not on, it is not too hot or too cold. I just do not live in fear of someone stealing my child, anymore than I live in fear of her being bitten by a shark. The odds are roughly the same.

ditto, but to add that the car is locked too.

gracendantho26 · February 2009

I see parents do it all the time which makes me wonder if I'm uptight. Especially at Natalie's school..it's not a big deal at all for parents to leave their younger ones in the car.

kevschickee2 · February 2009

JenniC1135:
Normally I agree with you, but I've done it a couple of times. It wasn't out of laziness, it was out of feeling guilty that dropoff or wake-up seems to always interfere with Adam's naps. When he was in the carrier, I could bring him in, but now that he's in the convertible, if he's exhausted and just fell asleep, I don't wake him, because he doesn't stay asleep or go back to sleep when I move him. It's not his fault they go to school, and he needs his naps. So yeah, I have left him sleeping in the locked van while I go in to pick them up on the bad weather days when they aren't on the playground at dismissal time.

I could never do this. You never know what could happen

mlm1128 · February 2009

I would think that if you were looking to steal a child, a daycare would be the prime location. Stake out the parents for a few days and see who does leave the baby in the car, and then make your move. I think it is a huge deal. It takes a minute to get your kid out of the car and into another one.

wellfleet04 · February 2009

I sort of agree with JOEBunny. I just don't worry about people abducting Kate. Yes, I know it happens, but the odds are SO low that I can't occupy my mind with thinking about it. If the car is at a school with lots of foot traffic in/out (which I would assume there is at drop off time), locked and only a few minutes, I just don't think the odds are high enough that something bad would happen that I would even think twice about it, for me or for other parents.

kevschickee2 · February 2009

mlm1128:
I would think that if you were looking to steal a child, a daycare would be the prime location. Stake out the parents for a few days and see who does leave the baby in the car, and then make your move. I think it is a huge deal. It takes a minute to get your kid out of the car and into another one.

great point

DandR · February 2009

JOEBunny:
I don't think this is a huge deal, as long as they are strapped in car seats, the cars are not on, it is not too hot or too cold. I just do not live in fear of someone stealing my child, anymore than I live in fear of her being bitten by a shark. The odds are roughly the same.

And I'm sure the odds of being in a life threatening car accident are about the same...maybe a touch more...yet we spend hundreds of dollars getting the best car seat to put our kids in......

I think its silly to be vigilant about some things and not others....I'd rather be careful ALL TIMES....but that's just me...and I don't care what your excuse is, sleeping baby, whatever, I still think its lazy...plain and simple.

JenniC1135 · February 2009

kevschickee2:
JenniC1135:
Normally I agree with you, but I've done it a couple of times. It wasn't out of laziness, it was out of feeling guilty that dropoff or wake-up seems to always interfere with Adam's naps. When he was in the carrier, I could bring him in, but now that he's in the convertible, if he's exhausted and just fell asleep, I don't wake him, because he doesn't stay asleep or go back to sleep when I move him. It's not his fault they go to school, and he needs his naps. So yeah, I have left him sleeping in the locked van while I go in to pick them up on the bad weather days when they aren't on the playground at dismissal time.

I just tend to think he's in more danger in a moving vehicle on an open road than he is when he's locked in my van, strapped in, in a parking lot full of parents who all know eachother. I wouldn't do it at the mall, but at preschool, it's fine. To each her own.

I could never do this. You never know what could happen

newItalian mama · February 2009

I think those of you who are not a bit worried about your child being abducted are nuts! IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY!!?

heyitsme · February 2009

I read on another messageboard where a mom encountered a similar situation at her DD's preschool. And on a morning like yours today where the parent lingered inside, she actually opened the door to the person's car (!!), unbuckled the infant, and stood there holding the baby until the mom came out. The mom looked appalled initially as the woman handed the baby to her and said, "Be glad it was me and not someone else. I just stood here. They could have been long gone." Then she had to stand there and console the mother as she cried. Some people need a wake-up call.

ETA: This was someone she kind of knew, so it wasn't like she was a stranger picking up a stranger's kid to get the message across.

kevschickee2 · February 2009

I would call the police in a heartbeat if I saw this

IFMTS · February 2009

Yes, it sucks to wake up a sleeping baby to take him/her into daycare, but better safe then sorry. I have to pick up both boys at different locations and I always take Colin into daycare to pick up Sean and vice versa. It's not easy, but it's managable.

JOEBunny · February 2009

newItalian mama:
I think those of you who are not a bit worried about your child being abducted are nuts! IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY!!

Actually, no it doesn't happen every day. It happens about 200 times a year, that is all for non-family abductions. I really have better things to worry about that some artificial fear perpetuated by the media. There are 300,000,000 million people in the United States. 200 a year is not very much and most are not babies stapped in carseats in locked cars. To me, this is a ridiculous fear and if someone did take my baby out of her carseat when I wasn't there in a parking lot to "teach me a lesson", I would have her arrested for tresspassing.

wellfleet04 · February 2009

I'm one of the people who doesn't worry about Kate being abducted. I mean, I don't leave her in the car at the gas station or the mall, but at a preschool with tons of foot traffic and people who knew me, eh...I wouldn't do it probably but I wouldn't think twice if other people didn.

People get struck by lightning every day too. And bitten by sharks, or die in car accidents. It is just impossible to be vigilant at ALL TIMES and be a happy person, for me anyway. I can't live my life in fear. I take what I feel to be reasonable risks all the time. I drive. I swim. Something bad is more likely to happen to your kids while you're driving and talking on the cell phone or reaching around back to the carseat and taking your eyes off the road, but I'd hazard to guess that most of us do those things pretty regularly.

kevschickee2 · February 2009

JOEBunny:

newItalian mama:
I think those of you who are not a bit worried about your child being abducted are nuts! IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY!!

Actually, no it doesn't happen every day. It happens about 200 times a year, that is all for non-family abductions. I really have better things to worry about that some artificial fear perpetuated by the media. There are 300,000,000 million people in the United States. 200 a year is not very much and most are not babies stapped in carseats in locked cars. To me, this is a ridiculous fear and if someone did take my baby out of her carseat when I wasn't there in a parking lot to "teach me a lesson", I would have her arrested for tresspassing.

I wouldnt want to be part of that 200 IMO it would be a case of neglect and I would call the police and child protection services

kevschickee2 · February 2009

wellfleet04:

I'm one of the people who doesn't worry about Kate being abducted. I mean, I don't leave her in the car at the gas station or the mall, but at a preschool with tons of foot traffic and people who knew me, eh...I wouldn't do it probably but I wouldn't think twice if other people didn.

People get struck by lightning every day too. And bitten by sharks, or die in car accidents. It is just impossible to be vigilant at ALL TIMES and be a happy person, for me anyway. I can't live my life in fear. I take what I feel to be reasonable risks all the time. I drive. I swim. Something bad is more likely to happen to your kids while you're driving and talking on the cell phone or reaching around back to the carseat and taking your eyes off the road, but I'd hazard to guess that most of us do those things pretty regularly.

being bit by a shark or hit by lightning is an act of nature and comes out of no where BUT leaving a child unattended in a car is an act of stupidity and can be avoided at all costs

sweetie1528 · February 2009

kevschickee2:
JOEBunny:

newItalian mama:
I think those of you who are not a bit worried about your child being abducted are nuts! IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY!!

Actually, no it doesn't happen every day. It happens about 200 times a year, that is all for non-family abductions. I really have better things to worry about that some artificial fear perpetuated by the media. There are 300,000,000 million people in the United States. 200 a year is not very much and most are not babies stapped in carseats in locked cars. To me, this is a ridiculous fear and if someone did take my baby out of her carseat when I wasn't there in a parking lot to "teach me a lesson", I would have her arrested for tresspassing.

I wouldnt want to be part of that 200 IMO it would be a case of neglect and I would call the police and child protection services

no matter how low the chances are, I don't want to take them. I just can't imagine leaving my son alone in the car. I just can't imagine doing it.

heyitsme · February 2009

For me, it's not just about someone taking my kid. It is also about me just not being physically with my child if something were to happen (ex. someone pulls into the parking lot and slams into my car, vomiting/choking in their sleep, pulling a button off and eating it while I'm inside, etc.). I don't consider myself a paranoid mom in any sense of the word, but I have never left DD alone in a car (but then again, I don't have 2 children) with the exception of my getting out to pump gas and then I am watching her while the gas is pumping.

veloelle · February 2009

I don't worry about DD being abducted so much as someone hoping in an unlocked or locked car to steal. My car is no prize, but there have been stories in the news about someone stealing a car w/ a baby inside, not realizing there was a baby in the car. Like Kevs said, acts of nature vs. something in your control are totally different.

I don't leave her in the car when I pick up my dry cleaning, which is literally 10 feet and I can see her the entire time.

I'm fairly laid back when it comes to DD, but leaving her in a car unattended is on my top 10 list of not to do. And I don't like the message it sends her that it's ok for her to be alone in the car.

reynah · February 2009

I have to agree with JoeBunny, if someone had my child in there hands b/c they took him out of my car, I would also have them arrested.

Amanda&Chris · February 2009

I leave Lila in the car. I don't think I would do it at daycare/preschool where I couldn't see the car the whole time, but I do it at the gas station and at the dry cleaners. The dry cleaners has a completely glass front and you can park directly in front of the door. It would not be possible for someone to take Lila out of the car without me getting there in time. And I lock the door.

At the gas station I sometimes leave Lila in the car while I run in to get a Diet Coke. And every time I do it I think about how I would get flamed on the Nest. LOL. But again, it's a glass front and I only do it when I'm at the pump directly in front of the door so it's not possible for someone to take her without me getting there in time.

Like I said, I don't think I would do it if I couldn't see the car, but I've done it quite a bit otherwise.

kevschickee2 · February 2009

reynah:

I have to agree with JoeBunny, if someone had my child in there hands b/c they took him out of my car, I would also have them arrested.

at the same time you could be arrested or brought up on neglect charges

isabella22 · February 2009

Wow. I think this is terrible.

There is a difference between 'living in fear' and making simple, smart choices to protect your children.

A friend of mine left her sleeping kids in the car while she ran into her sisters house. While she was in there, someone stole the other car in the driveway. This is in a nice, safe place.

Bad things happen in 'nice', 'safe' places.

wellfleet04 · February 2009

Ok, scratch the shark and the lighting. What about talking on the cell while driving? I bet more kids are injured or killed every year because their parents are taking risks while driving than are abducted from locked cars in carseats. Like I said, it is impossible to be vigilant at ALL TIMES and everyone makes choices about what is an acceptable risk for them. To say you never take any risks at all or put your child in a miniscule amount of danger ever is just not possible. Or else you never leave your house. I get that for some of you this is a risk you wouldn't take. Totally fine. But I don't think it makes other parents lazy or irresponsible if they don't feel the same way you do about it. I'm 100% positive you must do something at some point in your parenting that could be judged a risk by others.

kevschickee2 · February 2009

also my toddler can get out of her carseat what happens if she does when I am inside?

Amanda&Chris · February 2009

kevschickee2:
also my toddler can get out of her carseat what happens if she does when I am inside?

Well, then, that is different.

DandR · February 2009

alright...even if there is NO RISK in the world (which we know there is), I stand by my statement that it makes you lazy.

If you guys want to be lazy parents, cool!

jennrg1019 · February 2009

I have never left either child in a car unattended. I drop Joey off at school and carry Allison with me. It's a huge PITA-a gate and then about 20 steps going up to the front door. Then down three flights of stairs to his classroom.

There have been times that I park directly in front of the post office door. Our box is just inside the door, but I bring both kids in with me. I don't need anyone running into the car, the car catching on fire, or someone calling the police on me for leaving them.

JOEBunny · February 2009

DandR:
alright...even if there is NO RISK in the world (which we know there is), I stand by my statement that it makes you lazy.

If you guys want to be lazy parents, cool!

I have never done it because I choose to reduce many risk by stayng home with my child, but if I did have to pick up and drop off, I don't think that you irrational fear makes me lazy. I also think it is more dangerous to get your child out of a car in a crowded parking lot than it is to leave them in the car, just yesterday a 7 year old boy was struck and killed in an elementary school parking lot here, but again, that is based on rational thought and actual risk, not on imaginary risk.

rebs · February 2009

I like the fact that some moms are being pro-active and have set up a group to watch each others kids, that is great, especially since the drop off happens everyday. However I do think some of you are being irrational about your fear to never, ever leave your kids in the car. I have done this once or twice to run in and pay for gas when it is ridiculously cold out. There are risks with everything. I drive with my kids, we fly on airplanes, they swim in a lake- all carry a far greater risk of something happening than being abducted.

I also just LOVE how people with one kid have an opinion on this...

Sorry DandR, I don't know why you have such a bee in your bonnet about this.

jen5-03 · February 2009

JOEBunny:

newItalian mama:
I think those of you who are not a bit worried about your child being abducted are nuts! IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY!!

Actually, no it doesn't happen every day. It happens about 200 times a year, that is all for non-family abductions. I really have better things to worry about that some artificial fear perpetuated by the media. There are 300,000,000 million people in the United States. 200 a year is not very much and most are not babies stapped in carseats in locked cars. To me, this is a ridiculous fear and if someone did take my baby out of her carseat when I wasn't there in a parking lot to "teach me a lesson", I would have her arrested for tresspassing.

I don't know if this counts as "kidnapping" but there are several cases each year where some guy steals a car and doesn't care that there's a kid strapped in the back. The kids usually get abandoned within a few hours, but that would be a few hours of hell for a parent. I doubt this gets counted in kidnapping statistics because it's over before the FBI has a chance to get involved.

And if someone took your baby out of your car because you left her there, you would be the one in jail for child endangerment.

ccm1203 · February 2009

Wow!!!! This never happens at DS's preschool. Even if the baby/younger child falls asleep in the car they still take them out to do the drop off.

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