At what age should they be able to self-soothe?

Mrs.Mclstar48

As of right now, DD needs to be walked/rocked to sleep. I can't just put her down half awake/sleepy and expect her to go to sleep on her own. I have tried a few times and wait just a few minutes of crying to see if she will go to sleep but it never works. She gets herself so worked up in those few minutes to where shes now wide awake and cranky so I stopped trying.

Rocking/walking her doesnt bother me one bit. Once I am back at work I may sing a different tune but as of now I am fine with it. So what age do you think its appropriate to expect this of her? I am sure my pedi would say now but I think we are different levels when it comes to how long she should cry before I get her. Thanks ladies!

Paigeo

My sister has a baby just 8 days older then mine.  When they were both 2 months she was saying how she could put her baby to sleep while awake.  My DH assured me she was lying!!  We had to rock, soothe, sing to, our DD to get her to go to sleep for a long time!  I swear it would take hours to put her to bed.  Our ped kept telling us to put her in bed awake and I was like whatever.  I did not want to do CIO.  Once DD was about 3-4 months old I would try to put her in her crib awake at night at least once a week but the minute she cried I would get her.  DH and I just talked about this tonight and neither of us can remember at what point she started going to sleep on her own.  I want to say it was around 5 months.  Now we put her in bed awake every night.  She has the FP aquarium soother thing that she watches and she stands and cruises around her crib for 5-10 minutes and then lays down and falls asleep.  She is an awesome sleeper now and it is almost hard to thing back to those early months!  In terms of CIO and self-soothing most people say don't try it before 6 months and some say 4 months at the earliest. I have the Ferber book and though never have had to use it it is an interesting read about sleep habits.

lilyvalley

I have heard 4 months is the magic age for shaping behavior (using whatever method is good for you and your DD).  With your DD, I might wait until she is 4 mos. adjusted age just to be sure she is ready.

 

P.S.  I know the Ferber Method gets a bad rap but after reading the actual book - it doesn't seem as tortuous.  I think it gets twisted when people pass it on via word of mouth.  I also LOVE the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D.

Mrs.Mclstar48

Thanks ladies! I dont think I could ever let CIO but then again i havent done any reading on it either. I just want to make sure I am not expecting her to do something when she's too young to have that expectation placed on her!

Ciconrad

Between 4-5 months they can usually self soothe.  Until that point we had to rock my son to sleep.  Around 5 months we were still doing it but he started waking up every 2 hours and wanting us to rock him back to sleep.  The pedi encouraged us to teach him to put himself to sleep.  We would go through the whole night routine and then get his drowsy and put him in his crib.  The first night he went bonkers - cried for 30 minutes.  We would go in every 5-10 minutes and pat him and tell him it was ok, but would never pick him up to rock him.  The second night he cried for 5-10 minutes.  Now he'll roll around in his crib or make little noises, but falls asleep on his own with 5 minutes.  He started STTN once we did this too. 

Ciconrad

I should add that I was totally anti-CIO but at 5 months when my son was still a horrible sleeper, something had to give.  He was waking up all night and was fussy all day because he was so tired.  It's tough and I am not trying to push it on anyone - you really  have to be behind it or it will fail.  Luckily it only took one night with us.  Once we did it, I wish we had done it a little sooner.  He became a different baby - so much happier.  It's been 2 months since we did it and he sleeps through the night now, is happy during the day and has absolutely no attachment issues from the one night of CIO.  I think they have to be at least 4 months - DS was 5 months when we did it.

rowanthefrog

We've put Ethan down twice while sleepy and he had fallen asleep.  We have put him down many more times and he hasn't.  At this point we still rock him to sleep and then swaddle him and put him down.

I've wondered if we should start changing the routine too, but its working for us so I haven't.  I will be asking the ped about it at his 4 month appt in 2 weeks though.

A