Male/female perspective — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

Male/female perspective

I have never used this before but I am stumped and not sure what to do... So my wife has been hospitalized for 12 days now for PTL. She is going to be in there for a couple of months. We have a dog which makes it hard to care for her and spend time at te hospital so one of her friends is staying at the house even when I am off of work. So last night the wife convinced herself that I sleeping with her friend, which I would never do and have told her many times. We have even had the talk about how much it disgusts me when guys cheat on pregnant women. So today she won't talk to me and even kicked me out of her hospital room and told me to go home and she didn't want me there. So I am looking for some kind of guidance on this..

Re: Male/female perspective

  • Female lurker, cannot relate but sucks that she is in the hospital for so long; at least she's getting the needed medical attention. Can the dog stay at the friends?
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  • Also a female lurker. Just wondering if anything happened that gave her that idea. Only saying that because I know how hormones can be and maybe there was something said or done to give her the notion. Also instead of having her friend living at your place I totally agree with PP; can the dog go to her house instead. I dog sat for friends and I didn't need to be there all day and night.I would personally think it was odd that my friend was there even if you were.... I think the friend needs to be out of your house, that might make your wife feel more easy. Right now she's in a tough place and emotions are running high. HTH

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  • Easy go in and do something simple but special for her, simple is key. Flowers is an awesome way to catch the attention of your loved one and once you have that you are finally able to talk and get a nice word/gesture in. I would ask exactly what she wants from you to prove to her you are not what she believes.
  • 1. Cut her all the slack in the world

    2. Let her cool off and take a walk, but don't actually go home in those situations.

    3. Do everything you can to know you are there for her, support her, etc.

    4. Good luck and best wishes. This is going to be a tough time for her and you, but you will get through it!
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • Female lurker here...

    I gotta say, I trust my hubby, but I'd be a little weirded out/concerned too if your female friend is spending the night.  Remember, your wife's emotions are running full steam right now, especially since she is bed-bound in the hospital (so sorry to hear that btw!) so the fact that she can't be home with you and a female friend can, is bound to cause some undue worry.

    As PPs have said, I would have the friend watch your dog at her house, not yours; or if that's not possible, find a different friend who can.  It's simply not worth the stress between you and your wife. Your friend should understand that.

    Also, when you talk to her, do not get defensive (which I'm sure is the natural inclination).  Tell her calmly and honestly that nothing is happening, and that you never meant to cause her any added stress.  And assure her that the friend is no longer hanging out at the house.



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  • Thank you everyone for the feedback I will take all that into consideration!!!
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