Did I handle this okay?

Princess_Lily

DS had his first week of a full time traditional preschool, and every day they give me a run down of what he did that day.  For the most part its been good days. 

Yesterday he didn't want to sit for a quiet activity in the morning, and instead wanted to do something else.  The teacher/supervisor of that area during that time tried to "catch" him, placed her hands around him and he bit her!  Now he KNOWS not to bite, but I still sat down with the Director regarding the incident.

I explained to him how sorry I was the incident occurred.  I explained that maybe if that situation comes up again (hopefully not), that trying to hold him to make him do something will make him fight the teacher more.  I expressed that since DS tends to be a strong-willed child, to provide options so to make him feel he has control of his environment  Now of course, options of activities may not be available, and if not - to give him the choice to sit where he is supposed to OR a consequence will occur - and he will weigh those options himself.  I also said that they will find some days are better than others, and options won't be needed...but other days, there may be a need for them.

Also the Director in passing, told me he had called some children "stupid" yesterday (thurs).  I told him how we don't talk like that at home, so I couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

When we got home he DID NOT get his "short term rewards" due to his behavior. After he relaxed from the long day, I opened up a conversation with him.  I asked him, "DS, do you think calling someone stupid is nice or mean?"  He said, "Nice."  I explained that the word "stupid" is a mean word, and it can hurt people's feelings.  I asked him, "Where he heard the word?"  He explained that a boy and a girl had said, "You are stupid," to him.

Inside my heart was breaking, but I knew that empowering him will help in social situations like this - I can't protect his innocence forever. I told him, "You are NOT stupid, you will NEVER be stupid.  If someone ever calls you stupid, or uses any words to hurt your feelings, you tell them, 'You are being mean' and you walk away or tell a teacher.  We also said that he should never use that word on someone else, that it could hurt their feelings.  We did some role playing of the situation too, and I explained to him that if he ever had a question of what a word means (that he may hear) that he can always come to me or Daddy to ask.

 

The director of the school expressed to me that while kids are kids, they need to learn proper behavior and that they never will give up on any child, that they always try to keep an open dialogue with the parents, so to help with follow through at home - which I strongly believe in.  He said himself, "These changes will not happen overnight, but we need to work as a team," which I do agree with him on. 

Did I/we handle this okay?  I feel good about this. 

Kristen050

Sounds like you handled it great to me. It's also awesome that your school has such great communication with parents.

acaudill75

You did better than I would have.

Princess_Lily

Regarding the comment about "...never giving up..."

This was in response to me saying that I hope to continue with in the preschool irregardless, because DS needs to learn how to work within the dynamics a school environment, and taking him out will only delay exposure to this environment. There wasn't a comment to from the director to prompt this thought process, it was more of a concern on my end and dealing with the business side of preschool, its not required by the district, so kids can be asked to leave this is common in my area.

The director was assuring me that they want him to stay too, and to not expect changes overnight.

I hope this clarifies the comment he said.