PTSD = Might as well be alone :(

eg214

As I'm sitting here, my partner is yet again making me cry because of his PTSD. It is like parenting another child who constantly argues with you, never admits he is wrong, acts like a 12 year old, embarrasses you in public, and throws tantrums whenever he can. 

If there was some way for me to do this alone, I would. I just have no idea how I could. Financially, there's no way in heck and I don't qualify for government assistance because of my current pay. My family is in another state and when they find out I'm PG, are going to have an absolute flip attack anyway. I'm well old enough to care for this child on my own (28) without their "jubilance" but sometimes I'm doubting why I was so stupid to even allow this to happen. We have our 1st appointment Wednesday and I'm just racking my brain to figure out whether I can honestly live my life like this or if I should consider adoption. I cannot believe I am in this place.

PTSD is the most god awful nightmare that nobody understands. 

inthelost

Is there any way he can receive help or see a therapist? 

babymama619

Talk to your doctor. At my first 5 appointments I think they asked me about my feelings of safety.

There is certainly a way you can do this on your own, you just haven't found it yet. It may not be ideal, but you need to talk to your family and see if you can move there. If not, then  look for a women's shelter. Look at getting a roommate on craigslist.

YOU CANNOT STAY AND BE ABUSED.

I don't care if it is due to PTSD, it's still abuse. You have a responsibility to yourself and now to the baby. Extreme stress is incredibly unhealthy during pregnancy. You might feel alone, but you're not, you have that baby to care for.

 I hope this doesn't come off as harsh, but I was raised by a sting of abusive "fathers" my bio-dad and my mom's two subsequent husbands. The third never hit her or me, never drank or did drugs, and was probably the most hurtful of all. Staying now does not set a good platform for you child to begin his or her life. It is also an awful place to spend yours.

tracy41

Don't let your fears about doing it alone keep you in an abusive situation. Trust me, you will find a way. If he's not willing to get therapy there is nothing you can do for him. And you have yourself and a baby to take care of now. Reach out for help. Could you move back to where your family is at?

eg214

Thanks ladies. I appreciate the ears and concern.

Luckily, his meds came today so I pray they will help take the edge off these issues because it's absolutely wearing me down. I told him that in order for us to be together, he had to get back on them. I know he eventually wants to get into therapy, but I'm trying not to push things on him all at once...which can be another trigger for PTSD. So, I will see how these meds go, give them time to work, and then encourage therapy alongside the meds in the next couple months.

As far as the family thing goes, my family loves me but they are very hands off when it comes to helping me with anything. It's just the way it is. If I were a single parent and struggling, they would do very little to help. Maybe provide a little loan for a couple months but I highly doubt anything more. My mom is not capable of helping financially, nor can she help me with living. My dad's motto was "Once you leave, you can't come back." I've come back a couple times but at my age, I'm doubtful.

I have my ultrasound Wednesday so once that is clear, I will break the news to them anyway. I'm sure they will ask questions and find out if I feel safe, etc. Maybe then they will offer things or a back up in case, but I can't be sure.

I'm just hopeful these meds will help him be more stable. I know they've worked wonders for other military members whose spouses I've spoken to.