Worried about adoption

kyynel

I had a really hard first pregnancy. It scared us so much that even doctors advised to not try for another one. So my husband and I have decided to adopt for our second one. Well I really dont know where to start. Any advice would be great Thanks

mysticl

Some questions to ask yourselves:

Do you want to adopt a baby or an older child? 

Are you interested in domestic adoption, foster to adopt, international adoption?

How do you feel about open adoption?

If an older child what kind of issues can you handle/not handle? 

 

CaptainSerious

Hi, and welcome to the group!

I usually suggest that people considering adoption should check out an introductory book on the subject, because there are so many different kinds of adoption, each with its own process.  I think books like Adoption for Dummies or The Complete Idiot's Guide To Adoption (which I used) are a great place to get started.  They provide lots of basic information on adoption, the different types, the processes, and how to research an agency.  Other good books are The Complete Adoption Book and You CAN Adopt.  Any of these will help you decide which type of adoption best ?fits? your family.

If you then decide that domestic adoption is right for your family, you?ll need to find a good agency or decide to pursue an independent adoption.  I highly recommend researching any agency you are considering to make sure it abides by ethical standards.  For domestic agencies, a great place to look them up is on the yahoo group called "AARD" (Adoption Agency Research ? Domestic).  That group is dedicated to giving honest feedback on agencies.  You can ask about the agencies you are interested in directly, and also search their archives and files.

If you choose international, you?ll then need to pick from which country. The US Department of State's website lists the requirements to adopt from each country (https://adoption.state.gov/).  I always recommend you find a country that you wish to adopt from first, and then chose an agency that has a strong program in that country.  There are some great agencies that have some really strong programs in countries they've been working in for some time...and some fledgling programs in countries that are new to them.  Even though these agencies are generally highly recommended, their newer programs may not work as well as those that are more renowned, because they haven't had the time and experience to figure out all the kinks, establish strong contacts, and become aware of all the pitfalls.  It's also a good idea to find an agency that has a strong program in more than one country you are interested in.  Adoption programs can be very volatile, as they are dependent on the laws of multiple countries/compacts, diplomatic relations, public perception, etc.  It's not unheard of for a country to drastically slow down their process or close entirely, and if your agency specializes in more than one country you are interested in, you should be able to transfer to another program with limited difficulty or cost (you should make sure of this when interviewing agencies).  The yahoo group "Adoption Agency Research" is a phenomenal resource for vetting agencies, and works the same way as ?AARD.?

Good luck!

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