Getting our 3rd placement tomorrow

JennaNAaron

We've had our first two foster kiddos since last July and it looks like they'll be going home later this year   So bittersweet, we're mega attached.

Tomorrow we are getting kiddo #3 (no relation to the other two).  She's 5 and we know quite a bit about her because she's coming from a relative placement that we are acquaintances with.

We talked to her on the phone tonight and she said she can't wait to meet us.  Any advice for things to do/not do the first day/night with an older kiddo are greatly appreciated.

Of course I called my mom earlier who told me we're nuts and she doesn't understand why we would take a 3rd child because she can't imagine taking care of 3 kids that didn't "belong to her."  Sometimes I wish she could be more encouraging.

 

IdigDirt

I have no advice since I haven't even formally applied yet but just wanted to wish you luck. My mom isn't really supportive either but it's none of their beezwax

irismorning

I am sorry that your mom is not more supportive. My friends were not very supportive of me at the beginning either, but they have all come around and love my children.

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elissaann26

How exciting!  I agree to keep things low key for a while.  I'd have play-doh, coloring books, etc. on hand to keep her busy.  We found with our 5yo foster son that he'd really calm down when coloring/playing with play doh and then would open up to us.  But take things at her speed.  I'd also suggest trying to stick to home for the most part.  That way she can get comfortable with how your house works and get to know you.  Then I'd gradually introduce her to friends/family/etc.

I was so worried that the first night would be SUPER awkward with "older" kids (which are 5yo to 6yo since that is the oldest ages we are comfortable with right now).  But it definitely wasn't as big of a deal as I expected it to be.  We had kid-friendly food (mac&cheese, chicken nuggets, applesauce, etc.) around so that wouldn't be an additional struggle.  And if things got crazy we'd declare it was movie time and pop in Finding Nemo!

I'd also suggest having a discussion about your house rules within 24 hours of them arriving.  We asked our 5yo foster son what rules he wanted, which was very telling of his fears.  He was very comforted that certain rules were in place that EVERYONE in the home had to follow- even the dog! 

aligross

It is so exciting that you're getting #3! How fun it will be for each of the kiddos to grow with each other in your home! I have no advice in the foster area, but knowing 5 year olds well I would say establishing your routine is what is most important. Think Kindergarten classrooms... (teachers spend the first month of school establishing the routine for the entire year!) BUT also keep her active, parks, playing outside etc. 

 Have fun! I'm excited to see how this little one grows into your family!  

JennaNAaron

She stayed here last night as a "sleepover," and it went really well.    She will be back either tonight or tomorrow.  She may stay with her grandparents tonight.  She's so sweet   We leave for vacation Saturday and her worker and grandparents decided that it would be good for her to come with us, so that should be an adventure right off the bat