Match Fee question

FinallyMrs.G

We are still attending seminars and attended one last night, we are a little concerned about what we learned about the match fee though. If the adoption falls through we don't get any of the match fee back, it's $8500. So, we would lose that and then have to pay another match fee to start over again.

Does this sound right??

 

Married3.22.03

No, it does not sound right.  Your instincts are correct.  That sends all kinds of red flags up for me.  What do they do with the $8500 if a match doesn't work out?  Where does that money go?  Do they use it to "entice" an expectant mom to place, or make her feel "endebted" by paying for things for her?  There's just way too many questions in that for me.  I would find another agency.

speak-ez

Hmmm, that doesn't sound right. We don't have a match fee. We pay the final payment after placement.

Honeydew1894

Yikes! Ditto on the red flags. I could see if it was like $100, but $8500?!

MrsA2Be

I am glad you posted this.  I just got a fee schedule that was $5000 with application (not acceptance, non-refundable - and I have lupus...), $5000 at match (non-refundable) and $5000 at finalization.  DH and I were really upset.  The first two payments have to be paid by cashier's check.  It made us feel preyed upon, but we didn't know if this was normal.  It would be hard to lose $10,000 (plus all of the other fees they listed outside the $15K agency fee) if we weren't able to finalize.  And I personally know two people whose birthmothers changed their minds.

I need to just call them and get the skinny.  I've just been hesitant to talk to people I KNOW about all of this yet.  I don't want anyone to think we're moving too fast after losing Chloe.  We've honestly been talking about adopting since before we got married - in our Pre-Cana classes.  But to others, it might seem rushed.

Here I am - rambling in your post.  Sorry!  Thank you again for posting the question!!!

joeandkristie

We actually spoke to an agency that did require you to pay another match fee if your bm changed her mind.  That agency used the match fees to help pay for exp. for the bm such as clothing, food and rent.  The agency we finally went with does not do this.  When our bim backed out our match fee was placed in a reserve for when we get another match.  I would definately check with other agencies.

FinallyMrs.G

I don't think we are going with that agency. They have the match fee PLUS bm expenses such as her electric bill, clothes, food, etc. What the heck?!

Thank you for your replies ladies.

kmkaull

When we were "agency shopping" I found this to be true for several of the private agencies we looked into.  They also told us to expect to pay up to $5000 in birthmother expenses.  That didn't feel right to us.  We went with a larger agency (Lutheran Social Services) with no match fee, and a very clear message that the birth mom fees are rare.  Catholic Charities had the same arrangement.  So if you're looking into a private agency, be sure to also consider the nonprofits.

 

karalee402

No way!  We work with agencies who do have a match fee, but it's always transfered to the next situation in the event of a failed match.  So, even though some reputable agencies may have a match fee, you should never be with an agency that makes you forfeit the entire fee.  I can see some of the birth mother expenses being lost, but the entire fee should never be.