Ours was a 30-day state and we had no issues. I think we sent an update when DD was a month old, via the agency. We didn't contact her otherwise during that time, but our adoption is semi-open and only 2 visits/year with agency-mediated or blog-related communication (we just opened it up to e-mails).
DD's birthmom was very much solid in her plan, she even went to court when they did TPR for the birthfather to make sure there weren't any issues.
In our state there is no revocation period typically, but ours was an ICWA case, which can be revoked any time between placement and finalization (which was at about 6 months for us). TPR was signed about 10 days after the birth. We took a 2 week "blackout" period of no contact, then email/text contact and then a visit at about 3 weeks, and visits every ~3 to 4 weeks until finalization (and after).
Once we left the hospital we felt fairly confident that the placement would be permanent, even though she still had not signed TPR. But we didn't make a public announcement until that 10 days had passed. Even though there was still a legal risk between TPR and finalization, we felt like we HAD to act as if it were permanent, or we would not be able to bond. That was a struggle, honestly.
Thanks everyone for all the responses. To me it feels like such a long time of not knowing, As pp said, I don't want to let it interfere with bonding but I know I will still worry.
Thanks for raising this. I'm in a 30 day state as well and we have no idea what's going to happen during this period. We currently have a super open match with the emom---so not sure what post-birth might look like.
We had a 30 day wait before TPR was signed. We had some contact with DD's birthmom during that time. She actually emailed us pictures from the day DD was born - she sent them the day after DD was born (DD's birthmom went home the 2nd day.) I know we emailed back and forth a few times during that time, and I think we had a phone call either during that time or right after.
We have a very open adoption, so we were very happy to have the contact.
maryoosa:Hi NextChapter, Thanks for raising this. I'm in a 30 day state as well and we have no idea what's going to happen during this period. We currently have a super open match with the emom---so not sure what post-birth might look like.
No problem! I appreciate everyone sharing their experiences. I guess its just fear of the unknown for us right now. It helps hearing the positive stories.