I will be staying at home when this LO comes and DH and I are going to be discussing soon how we will be handling money. What works for you current SAHMs? Do you have a joint account or does your DH give you a set amount every month? Just trying to gauge what most people do. We have a joint credit card right now- but I know I will need a checking account for general household purchases. Thanks!
My Ovulation Chart
BFP 1/12/13 8DPO EDD:9/24/2013 Born 10/1/2013
Re: SAHM question
Kind of this. But I have more say when it comes to money because I handle the budgeting. He still goes wonky and spends when he shouldn't though.
This is us too. Even when I was working we still had joint accounts and it was always 'our' money. I've been a SAHM for almost 5 years now and my husband doesn't say anything about what I spend on myself, the kids, or the house. Nor do I say anything about his spending. We both know what we can afford and respect that. I take care of all bills because I am home and have time to do it. He knows I pay everything on time, make sure we save what we decide on, contribute to our retirement, etc so we don't have any areas that we disagree on. It's worked really well for us.
Boy #3!
This. I'm not and likely will never be a SAHM, but I hate when I hear people say "my DH gives me $x a month for clothes". Just make sure you are both always on board with the budget and what is appropriate spending in each category (which is the same recommendation for a two income household).
this! I handle the finances. We have joint everything. If he ever has a question about something money related, he just asks. I answer homestly. Major purchases are a joint decision. I've been home since a few months before DD was born (so about 3.5 years) and its worked just fine. Everyone is different though. What works for one couple, may not work for another! GL and congrats on becoming a SAHM!
J+E ~ 08/25/2007 DD#1 ~ 05/11/2010 DD#2 ~ 09/25/2013 DD#3 ~ 06/09/2016 Baby #4 Due ~ 01/16/2023
We have 2 joint checkings, one for spending and one for bills. I pay all of our bills myself and determine how much goes into the spending account each pay depending on our monthly budget. DH and I both spend as we need to, but we do discuss larger (usually anything over $150 or so) with each other before just going out and swiping the card.
Even though DH brings in all the money, I don't feel like I'm being treated like a child if I run it by him that I want to go out and drop $300 on a new handbag. I think it's the considerate thing to do. He needs to do the same when he wants to go out and spend the same amount on a new set of golf clubs or something.
Even though our main savings is joint, I also keep a separate savings with a few thousand in it from money that I made while I was still working. The account is only in my name and even though DH knows about it and knows the balance, he does not have access to it. Call me cynical but I think this is the smart thing to do.
I have been seriously considering this as well. I think it would work really wellfor us since DH uusually does not know what and when anything is being paid. It sounds ideal actually.
We have separate checking accounts currently and I have a credit card for one of his accounts for house purchases. obviously any allowance would be agreed upon by both of us- not something just he decides and I would still have the credit card for big purchases- just as I do now.
My Ovulation Chart
BFP 1/12/13 8DPO EDD:9/24/2013 Born 10/1/2013
This
Thanks! this sounds like a good solution!
My Ovulation Chart
BFP 1/12/13 8DPO EDD:9/24/2013 Born 10/1/2013
I am not a SAHM but we have a joint as well as our own accounts and we would so if I did stay home. We have always had it set up like this.
I also handle our budget and all of the bill paying including my husbands bills because I am more organized and have everything set up a certain way to make sure everything gets paid on time.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
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I took over paying the bills because DH is terrible about remembering what is due when. I think auto-payments are the only reason he still has good credit because if it weren't for those, he would have so many late payments on his report.
Once we got married, I took over our finances. Call me old fashioned but I hate auto-payments, especially when the amount isn't fixed. For our CC bill and other fluctuating balances I always go through the bills with a fine toothed comb before paying them. Some of our bills I still pay with a check. I'm so old school
Thanks! I have been known to have a spending problem so that's why we considered the allowance route too. I actually was the one to bring it up- thought it would help keep me in check. I think having a seperate joint account would kinda be the same- I am terrible about using cash/getting it out of an atm in general. Thanks for your input!
My Ovulation Chart
BFP 1/12/13 8DPO EDD:9/24/2013 Born 10/1/2013
All of this except the second chequing account.
Just because I don't get an actual paycheck, doesn't mean I have no right to spend our money. Even when I was working we still had joint accounts that all the money went into. We're both adults and know what we can afford. Any big purchases are discussed first (though mostly just because the big stuff involves both of our opinions and not that we need permission).
By staying home with DS I'm saving us a ton of money on daycare... so its not as though its costing us money for me to SAH. We decided together that it was the best desicion for our family. We both follow our budget and can make our own desicions on what we spend.
When we both worked and had no kids, all our money went into a joint account, and from that account, we each got an allowance transferred into our own accounts. This is the money we used to buy lunch at work or anything "extra" that wasn't in our regular budget. But it was equal! There were times that he made more money, and times that I did, even significantly more. But we never considered spending unequally!! I mean, now we spend unequally but it's because we have entirely different lives. It's not that he "gets" to do or spend tons of money on himself because he makes it, and I can't because I don't. Really, I spend all the money, because I do all the errands!
We have a joint account and have since we were married. It has always been our money, though I've never made nearly as much money as DH. We have a budget that we discuss and agree to together. I can spend a certain amount each month on whatever activities I want for DS, as well as clothes for myself or whatever I feel like spending it on (manicures, massage, facial, doesn't matter. He doesn't care). Same for DH. Even though he is the moneymaker, he still has a set amount he can spend on personal items. It's not an allowance, it's a budget to make sure we still have enough money for foods, mortgage, car payments, insurance, plus vacation and fun stuff. DH manages the budget because he's in finance and anal about that. I get a monthly report about where we went over and under and we adjust accordingly (sometimes changing the budget and sometimes changing our habits). As a SAHM, I choose to cloth diaper to save us money and I also do the best I can do with meal planning and whatnot to save us money on groceries. A penny saved is a penny earned, so even though I'm not bringing in money, I help out with our household expenses in that way.
I do not use our checking account except for getting cash out. I pay for everything on a credit card because we get card points and then we pay our bills from our bank accounts. I forget the pin on my checking account half the time because that's how infrequently I use it.
It works for us. I always knew I wanted to be a SAHM so we've planned for it since we got married. I have to make sacrifices to make it work, but it does work for us.
ETA: Also, the budget helps me because I don't feel bad spending money on myself then. I know we can afford it because it's part of the budget. I used to worry a lot more about money than I do now because I never knew exactly where we stood, so if I wanted to get drinks with the girls or a new skirt, I just wasn't quite sure. Now I know that as long as I stay within my X amount, I can buy what I want and not feel guilty about it (this has been an issue of mine long before I started staying at home, so it's not as though losing my income is what caused my guilt complex).
I should add, when DH was out of work and it was my income only and a tight budget, we each took out $100/mo cash in personal spending money... so I guess in a way that was our "allowance". Everything else (groceries, bills, etc) came out of the joint acct. Whatever that person wanted to spend the money on, that was up to them.
Now (with two incomes again), a small percentage of our checks go into person accounts to be spent however we want.