Independent or identified adoption questions

jillianmb

Hey all! I know there are a few of you on here who have done independent adoptions or adoptions where the parties were all involved before the agency. I'd like to PM with you if you are willing! 

MagickalNarwhal

The adoption we are doing now is technically an identified adoption but it's a little different, as our sons birth mom is pregnant again and she is making an adoption plan with us again. Our sons adoption was through an agency and we are going through the agency again but on a slightly different "track". Not sure I would have any info that would be helpful or relevant since this experience is technically identified but more closely resembles an agency adoption, functionally speaking. In happy to pm though!

maryoosa

Hi. I'm in an identified match currently. The baby has not been born yet, so I don't know if there will be a placement, but I'm happy to share whatever might be helpful to you.

Dr.Loretta

We had a situation that didn't work out, but we discussed some details with our agency. I'd be happy to let you know anything we got out of that if you're interested.

jillianmb

maryoosa:

Hi. I'm in an identified match currently. The baby has not been born yet, so I don't know if there will be a placement, but I'm happy to share whatever might be helpful to you.

I'm going to PM you. Thanks!

Others- may PM you later, depending on how much time I find tonight; thank you for your willingness!  

fledgegrl1

We're in an identified match now -- like maryoosa, baby isn't born yet so no idea if we'll have a placement, but I'm happy to share anything that might help. PM me if interested!

mmmraow

I was the BM in an identified adoption. FWIW.

maryoosa

mmmraow! Would love to hear your perspective on it all- esp. post-placement---

fledgegrl1

maryoosa:

mmmraow! Would love to hear your perspective on it all- esp. post-placement---

Same here! 

 

mmmraow

Post-placement immediately after was good. We (my parents and I) cooked dinner for then and went over and ate it together a few days after they brought LO home.

We saw them somewhat frequently... Gosh, it's been a while, so I'm not sure exactly how much. It had to have been no more than every few weeks, and no less than every couple of months. They moved when LO was like a year old, several states away. We don't really see them now (even when they come in town).

That's been the only kind of hard thing; I thought we were developing a friendship, but then we find out they've come in town a few times and not contacted me. I understand it might be awkward for him as he grows up, since he doesn't see me often enough to really know who I am or for it to be no big deal. I don't know.

But, all the same, LO sent DS some of his old jackets when he outgrew them, and I sent him a birthday note for his 7th birthday that I'd written when he was still in utero. If he ever gets to a point where he's curious or wants to know anything beyond what his parents can tell him, I'm here for him.

Does that scratch your itch? Anything more specific? 

Jenn is Silly

Our adoption was a private adoption (identified adoption) with no agency used.