Lurker would like your advice!

orangehills

Sorry this is long! I've lurked here and would like your advice on this. My H and I are planning to TTC sooner than we thought. I know I'll be a working mom because H doesn't make enough for me to stay home, and, as I work for state government, my pension and health benefits are too good to give up. Here's the thing, I have a lower paying job currently- Admin Asst type- but with a ton of flexibility. It would be a perfect job for kids because I work 7:30-4, you can take as much time off as you need, leave early, come in late if need be, because there are others to cover me (I've been doing it for years for them). Other ladies in my position have said it's great for raising a family. But, it's 30 minutes from my house so a lot of gas, I have to pay $75mo for parking, and when one day I have 2 kids (which hopefully happens!) I would be working mainly for my benefits, gas, parking and daycare (until school age). (And because it's state, I know exactly what I'll be making 4 years from now, so I can already estimate!)

 Would you stay in this job for the flexibility or find something higher paying, though, with more responsibility and less flexibility? What I have now is definitely not a career kind of job, it's just a job to pay the bills. It doesn't really challenge me all that much because I'm never that busy, but I've never been one with big career goals. I'm asking because now would be the time for me to start majorly job hunting. As working moms, do you think I would just get depressed if I'm at a job that I'm not that busy at, and all my money is going to daycare, but I have great flexibility? Or feel better that I have a busier job making it worth it to be away from home, making more money, but a stricter schedule and less time off?

TIA!

 

EastCoastBride

I work for the state too and I could have written a lot of your post.  I work 7:45 - 4:15, I work from home on Mondays, I get a TON of time off (not unlimited, but enough that I really have a ton of flexibility). 

But my job is boring.  BORING.  I'd love to find another job, but..... I can't find this flexibility anywhere else and I'm really, REALLY not ready to give it up.  Plus, I can get some personal stuff done at work.

While my salary has been stagnate for 5 years (3 of which were actually furloughs too!) - it's decent enough, though, that it's not a HUGE concern. 

I know plenty of women do it, but I really just have no desire to go to a more demanding job right now.  The time that I get w/ DS is just too important to me.  

Add to the equation that my DH works a job where he's 2 weeks on/ 2 weeks off - the 2 weeks he's on, I have to basically plan to be a single mom.  Then the 2 weeks he's off - I kind of want to have the time to go and play w/ him and DS!  

So on both fronts, getting the amount of time off that I get - it really just can't be beat.

Kids are only young once.  DS is 4.5 now.  I'm actually hoping to pursue a graduate degree that would help further my career.  I figure I can take on 1 class a semester and it will give me the challenge that I need and eventually will give me better groundwork to find another job. 

 

IBackBevo

I have two schools of thought.  Having been through IF, I would be hesitant to make my career choices based on potential future children because you truly don't know when/if it will happen and I've known ladies to quit jobs only to struggle with IF for years and wish they had taken a  different path.  With that said, more than likely you won't have a problem and if you do start a family then (IMO) a job with good benefits and flexibility is pretty much invaluable. So, really, this is a very personal decision that only you can make.

huntjul

One thing to consider about switching jobs and getting pregnant: FMLA which protects your job while you take up to 12 weeks maternity leave (may not be paid based on your employer's policy) does not kick in until you have been working there full year.  While many places will hold your job for some period of time while you are on maternity leave, they are not legally required to do so until you are there 1 year.  So you may have to delay TTC for a few months after starting the new job.

shannm

No one can make this call but you.

In my situation, I have chosen to not be as aggressive as I could be with my career to ensure flexibility while my kids are young. However, I am still job hunting and will consider every opportunity on a case by case basis.

Caligirl81

For our family, we would not be able to function if I didn't have the type of job that I have now.  MH works about 14 hours a day M-F and a few hours on Saturday mornings.  I work in a small law office and have TONS of flexibility, lots of paid sick and vacation time, and I can take time off with very little notice.  I make less than half of what MH does, but it's worth it to be able to take time off when I need to stay home with DS, take him to the doctor, etc. 

Personally, I wouldn't want to juggle two demanding jobs, kids, a dog, weekend classes/activities, and a house if we didn't HAVE to. I would much rather make less money and have a flexible, family-friendly, and relatively stress-free job. 

Being that I do not want to be a stay-at-home mom, our situation now seems to be the best of both worlds.   

hopefulmom81

shannm:

No one can make this call but you. In my situation, I have chosen to not be as aggressive as I could be with my career to ensure flexibility while my kids are young. However, I am still job hunting and will consider every opportunity on a case by case basis.

 

This exactly.  Flexibility trumps most anything at this point for me. 

azuremama

There may be a job out there that is a mix of both flexibility and more responsibility. For me, flexibility is key, but my job is also interesting and good in other ways. Why not start looking around and see what comes up? Then you can make a concrete decision.

orangehills

Yeah, I mean, I don't hate my job. It's just slow a lot so can get boring, but I like my boss and coworkers. And it'd be the perfect job for 1 child. I guess I worry too much about once there would be 2 kids that it wouldn't be enough $. But really, that is thinking way too much into the future and worrying a bit unnecessarily right now. Not sure what I'll do but I think I will probably stay here for now and not really actively job hunt.. even just staying here 5 more years would probably be good for my family since DH does have a job where he can have very long hours or be out of town. But I'll keep my eye out for any jobs I'm really interested in that would be worth the move. Thanks for the advice!

highlights

Flexibility and benefits are oftentimes worth the lower pay.