Situations that confront working moms

2chatter

I don't know what else to title this.

It's been on my mind because, well, it's summer.  Summer is complicated because it's not the same, predictable rote schedule around our house.  I don't feel guilty about some of the choices I make, but I wonder if I should or if I should make different choices....

Here are some of the things, not all summer related, that I mean

Field Trips (unable to attend frequently due to work)

Classes/sports that start at 4:00, etc. (unable to attend due to work, children cannot participate because they cannot magically transport themselves)

Sleep away camp drop off (the camp bus, as opposed to driving 3 hours to camp and back home)

You guys know the things I mean I am sure.  So how do you juggle?  Do you aim for a certain % of things to attend?  Class parties, field trips, etc?  Do you go "when you can"?  Do you ever wonder how your children feel about taking the bus instead of being walked to their cabin?  It's not viable for me to be off for all of these things....how do you juggle?

jf198400

My kids are little, I worry about how I will manage all these things when they are in school. Right now I go to daycare parties when I can. This is fairly easy b/c I only work 10-15mins from DC and my job is flexible. DH works far away and can't go to anything ever. Also sometimes my mom will attend when I cannot. If I am still working FT when they are in school, I think my mom and MIL will be the ones taking the kids to sports, dance, etc. I hate even the hypothetical thoughts about missing out on everything.

shannm

I think this gets much harder once they are older. We are just now getting a taste of it with DS. One of the only benefits to my current job is that I have flexibility. So if I need to take an afternoon off for a kid related event and then work that night or take some PTO, I do it.
While I dream of a better job, losing this flexibility scares me.

alli2672

Either we will continue needing a nanny, housekeeper, or aupair even as the kids get older, or one of us will have to restructure our job hours. I can't think of any other good way to do it.  

 

jiffy-pop

theresat858:

Field trips...um, no one wants to be the kid whose mom is on all the field trips. I promise they don't miss you. I'm glad my parents never could make field trips...

Find other teams?

Our drop offs were always on Saturdays...

I think these are things you can work around. My parents were always at work and we never were aware of missing out on anything.

I don't have anything to add to this thread other than I was a kid whose mom never came to anything (not always because she was working), and I always wished I had the mom that came to field trips and parties. I cherished the few times my mom did come to school things. But we are all different so it's different for every kid.

Mjmksb04

I have a somewhat flexible schedule, so I don't see this as a huge issue. Most teams and camps around here have schedules that can comport for families who have both parents WOTH.

Curls218

jaimevogt:

You know, the general order of things is that you become a SAHM when baby is born, then when they?re school age, moms sometimes return to work. Having experience with my SS who was 6 when I married DH, I was thinking actually, it seems like become a SAHM during the school years is better.

I always felt bad that my SS couldn?t do activities. Unless they took place on a specific day when DH could take him, or on the weekends when I could. 

DH hrs are weird...like never gets off before 6, and I work an hour away from home, so our evenings start later.  

This is my thinking, too.  I love what I do and love working, but in the back of my mind I do think that when I have a school-aged kid I may wind up trying to work PT so I can be there for the activities, field trips, etc.

mexicolombiana

I already get a headache thinking about how we're going to manage in summers with school aged children.  My boss has been leaving early for pick ups and drop offs of camps and stuff but he's the boss so he can leave whenever he wants.  We're probably just going to have to hire a college aged babysitter/nanny to do all afternoon pick ups and drop offs for summers when our kids get older. 

emberlee3

We are signing DS up for soccer in the fall.  I expect it will be one afternoon practice and Saturday morning game per week.  We are choosing a league that meets close to work/daycare, as opposed to near our home.  My schedule is sometimes flexible in the afternoons, and DH's schedule will have to be flexible when mine isn't.

DH and I both work on a university campus.  They have summer camps on campus with extended-care hours for the summer and some school breaks.  Since DS is only turning 4 this summer, I still have 2 summers of daycare 7-5:30 before I have to worry about it.