HELP!! My 3 1/2 year old will NOT go on the potty!!

deedeew80

Hi everyone!  I posted this on the Potty Training board as well, but wanted to post it here too!   I don't come on the bump much anymore, but I could use some help/advice.  My  DD is 3 1/2 yrs old.  I have been trying to potty training her since she turned 2 with NO success!  She has NEVER peed/pooped in the potty even once!  I seriously have tried EVERYTHING!!!  This past January, when she turned 3 I gave it a try again.  She wound up being in the hospital!  She was holding her pee/poop & was having severe belly pain.  Had to give her miralax for a while to get her regular again.  She started out holding her pee/poop until she would sleep for naps/bedtime.  Then she even stopped doing that.  The day she went in the hospital she had been holding her pee for 17hrs!!!  He poop for about 5 days!!  It was crazy!!  I then stopped for a while.  In March, I tried again.  She started to hold her pee again, so I stopped.  I didn't want a repeat of last time!  Here we are, in June, and I am trying again!  She woke up at 7:30am saying she peed, I took her diaper off & put underwear on her.  It is now 1:40 & she has yet to go!  She has had lots to drink.  I know she has to go because she keeps holding herself!  She has sat on the potty a couple times & nothing.  She will sit there & say, "It's coming out!  Here it comes!"  But nothing comes!  Then she tells me it is too hard & won't come out!  I will be putting her in a pull up for nap time, which is around 2 or so.  She will probably pee when she sleeps.  I just don't know what to do anymore!  Everyone keeps telling me she will go when she is ready!  I feel bad because there are certain activities she can't participate in because she isn't potty trained!  I just signed her up for preschool & they told me she can come, but only with a pull up & they will sit her on the potty while she is there.  This is crazy!  When she does wear a diaper or pull up & pees/poops, it doesn't even phase her!  She will sit in it all day long!  She will not have an accident & go in her underwear!  She did it once like a year ago & has never done it again!  Am I doing something wrong?  I don't even know if there is anything else for me to do!  UGH!  Thanks for any help you can give me!!  Sorry this was so long!

XCrissCrossX

Have you discussed this with your pedi? I remember reading something my pedi gave me about "reluctant" potty trainers or something but I tossed it.

Have you discussed why we pee and poop with your daughter? If she understands the process that might help.

Have you tried letting her run around naked?

Bribery (or rather, rewards)?

Obviously I'm not there so I don't know what triggered this behavior but it sounds like she's feeling too pressured to use the potty.

deedeew80

In January, the pedi didn't seem too concerned.  Said that she will get it when she is ready.  But while she is wearing diapers or pull ups to make her go in the bathroom to pee/poop in the diaper/pull up.  We have tried that but she REFUSES to go in the bathroom!  

 

I have explained to her that her pee & poop want to go in the potty, not her diaper/pants.  But I haven't actually explained why we pee/poop.

 

We have tried the whole naked thing!  She didn't mind being naked when she was younger, but now that she is older, she thinks running around naked is silly & wants her clothes on!  But even when she would run around naked, she would never have an accident!  She would just hold it!

 

I have tried every bribe, reward, etc there is!!!  Even sat there eating candy (which she never has) in front of her & she wanted it so badly.  But she still never went!

 

I try for a day or so & if it doesn't work I stop, don't talk about it anymore & then try again in a few months! It is all just very frustrating! 

TiffanyBerry

Has she said why she won't go into the bathroom?  Is she afraid of something? (My daughter is afraid of toilet flushes in any bathroom but at home.  She won't go in a public bathroom at all!)

Your daughter is old enough for a conversation with her - though it might take weeks - including HER telling YOU what is going on in her mind about potty training, the bathroom, the potty, the diapers/pull ups, the underwear, and so on.  I know my daughter also had a mental block for a while that using the potty would mean she was a big girl and she didn't want to be (she thought she would have to stop nursing, amongst other things), so I avoid that language, for instance, and stress that she can do some things that way and some other things other ways.) 

XCrissCrossX

What about moving a small potty to another room in the house? Half the time DS goes potty while watching TV.

But yes, definitely see if she can express why she doesn't like it. 

gremaud07

She jst might not be ready.. My DS didn't get potty trained till here recently and stil poops in a pull-up 

twirlyjack73

Maybe she'll go for someone else.  My mom hired a grandma type with lots of experience to nanny for us for a little while then she trained us.  Maybe you could splurge for a month?