How to choose a doula?

kellyk17

I'm 23 wks and thinking I should start looking. Does anyone have suggestions on what to ask or look for when meeting with them? Due to finances, we need to go with a less experienced doula, so trying to figure out how to know it's a good match. I am high risk, so have an OB and will deliver in a hospital but she is committed to my choice of natural birth. I'm hoping a doula will help even more.

Thanks!

aylafsu88

I meet with a couple of doulas and choose one based on the vibes I got from her.  I wanted someone that I felt comfortable with and someone who I felt could support me how I needed to be supported during L&D.  My H and I took the Bradley class so we felt prepared for labor.  We wanted a doula who would be there to help H if I had a long labor, remind him of pressure points, remind me of positions, and just be a positive energy in general.  The big question I had for my doula was how would she handle me if I asked for pain medication because I thought I could not do it.  My doula gave me a straightforward, no nonsense answer which was exactly what I wanted.  I needed her to be strong, positive, and encouraging to me especially when I went through transition and thought I could no longer do it.  Our doula was amazing and she made my labor a wonderful experience. 

tokenhoser

1) Are you available around my due date? (Obviously, you can't hire someone that's booked, so don't interview her.)

2) What's your fee? (Don't interview people you can't afford. Ask for referrals if her price is just too high for you.)

3) Go with your gut after that. Just talk to her, be honest about what you want and what you're looking for. If you feel like there are scenarios where you would welcome an epidural, you want a doula that you won't feel judged by. If you want someone to hold you to no drugs no matter WHAT, then you select someone that you get that vibe from. Both you and DH should feel comfortable with her and like she's a calm, reassuring, supportive person. 

kellyk17

Thank you so much, this really helps!

lalamakita

I liked that my doula was very purposeful about what she'd do if a doc suggested an intervention. While my DH and I would probably cave to most things a doc would suggest, she talked about the questions she'd remind us to ask and how to get more information about the intervention and why the doc needed it and to ask if it was medically necessary and if we could talk about it privately first, etc.  This would buy time and let us be comfortable with any decisions we needed to make, as opposed to feeling bowled over by a doc. 

I'm pg with #3, now and had a doula also for #2 - and she helped in this way, too - when we had 2 or 3 moments with the doc that we needed to discuss options, she helped explain what she knew about each intervention and what our options are (including walking out AMA - which wasn't what I wanted, but it was good to be reminded, I was in control)

really in the end having a doula was so worth it - even though we had several interventions, it was a still the birth I wanted - b/c I knew the decisions we made weren't rushed and I was able to feel a peace with it all.  Which wasn't all true with my #1 - which was a typical hospital birth ending in c/s for all the predictable reasons.  

 and I don't think a student doula is a bad idea at all - definitely better than none - and while she may not have seen every kind of birth or situation - if you like her in general and feel she's on the same page with your and your wishes and personality - she'll be a good support for you and your DH and know the basics of how to deal with questions that come up.  

 Good luck!