Will I need help?

knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa

Can you share your experience right after you gave birth? I'm pregnant with my second. I'm due a month before my son's second birthday.

A lot of people tell me how hard it is with two, etc. My parents live overseas and my MIL is an absolute disaster. I would really prefer to be alone with my husband for the first month and have time to bond with my new baby. It worked out last time but I am not sure how it would be with two. I had several people come visit and see the baby which I loved, but I was happy not to have to entertain a house guest staying overnight or for a whole week.

Thanks!

lew0509

YES. Even if it's not "full time family living with you" kind of help, you will want some form of help. Even if it's just a neighbor to cover a few meals. I'm sure that you could do it with just the two of you, but it would be that much easier with a little help. Having two kids is going to be an adjustment for you two, and I'm guessing that your oldest is going to act out a little. I would have some kind of help lined, even in small forms- a friend to watch the kid/s for a bit so you can rest, meals, someone to play with LO #1, etc.

orangecurls

I had lot of help during the first 6 weeks, and I was so thankful. My family is great though, and I welcomed them being there. Do you have friends that could come over and give a little additional attention to your toddler? Take him to the park or something?

NavyPilotWife

Is your husband taking any time off from work?  If you have someone that can get up with the toddler, while you sleep in with the baby for the first week or two, that would be really helpful.  I was alone with both kids for a week before DD2 was a week old (because we were moving across the country).  My mom came out for a week when DD2 was three weeks old.  She's not overly helpful, but she did get up with DD1 in the morning and did a few dishes.

It is doable to do 2u2 without help.  If your husband can't get much/any time off from work, maybe look into a sitter or friend to help out with your older one a morning or two per week to give you a break. 

Arielle27

My husband took a week off of work. Other than that, we didn't really have any help well, we had a cleaning lady once a week.

Mine are 16 months apart. It was definitely doable.

This time, my 2nd and 3rd will be 19 months apart so my first will be under 3, and Im hoping to hire someone for the first few weeks a nanny/Mommy's helper. My kids will be in daycare from 93pm, but with two toddlers and two day care drop offs/pick ups, I really fear the early morning hours and few hours when we get home before my husband gets in!

knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa

Thanks girls, this is helpful. I will keep my son on daycare during the day so that he can keep his routine and see if my hubby can take two weeks off instead of just one. The cleaning lady idea is great too. I think the weekends will be tough and I want to make sure I spend enough time with my first so that he doesn't feel left out so I will need to figure something out. Thanks a million

jf198400

My DH took off the first 2 weeks, then I was pretty much on my own with 2 kids, 18months apart after that.  My mom came over a few days, but honestly after 2 weeks I was able to manage alone.  I was even out taking the kids to the park and library and stuff.  It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be.  My mom and MIL both helped out with meals, but you can certainly cook and freeze meals yourself before LO arrives.  I also found the crockpot to be really useful while I was on ML, b/c I could prep dinner during naptime.  I had my older child home with me while I was on ML, so I had both kids all the time.  I just made sure that we got out of the house to do kid activities everyday so that DD was getting enough activity and social interaction.  I had one-on-one time with her whenever DS was sleeping, and vice versa.  If your MIL is going to be more work than help to have around, then I'd definitely prefer to be on my own.

Mommy2CB

My DS's are 22 mos apart.. I'm doing fine with 2. I am finding it a lot easier than people have been telling me it would be but I thought the same after DS1 too.

My husband was home the first week so that helped me get adjusted a bit. If I had people over everyday they'd drive me nuts! Haha!

jnicolen1

in my opinion, the difficulty level can vary greatly depending on:

-the disposition of both of your children

-your organization 

-your expectations

my first was 18 months when my second was born, very active and he still needed a lot of one on one attention.  if he had been only two months older it would have made a difference for him. for example, when i took him to the park, he still needed tons of help to climb on play structures, so its not like i could just stand on the side with the baby. there was lots of juggling to do.

my second had reflux, resisted feeding, and would only sleep upright on me until i got a swing.

so things like that made it difficult than it otherwise would have been.  

it was hard for me for a few months, but id do it again in heartbeat.  any little bit of help is good.