question for bradley moms

llovinger

I'm due next week and my husband and I have been attending the Bradley Method classes for the past 12 weeks.  I've enjoyed the classes and am really hoping for a med free birth. The amount of classes and the relaxation exercises we're supposed to practice daily have been a huge issue between my husband and I, and I am wondering if anyone else is experiencing the same thing and how they dealt with it.  Basically he thinks its all overkill and a waste of his time, and that we'll be just fine at the birth without practicing any of it.  I understand somewhat since this is the busiest time of year for him at work and he is gone for 12 hours a day, so instead of asking him to practice every night I have settled for 2-3 nights a week, but even that causes a huge fight.  I am super nervous that we're not doing enough and I am going to have a difficult time relaxing in labor. Any advice would help!!

Thanks!! 

SarahinMD

We didn't do classes (schedule didn't work) but read books and practiced. Didn't do all the practices every night. But we also reached a point where we both felt we got it, so we practiced, but with a bit less anxiety about it. DH also made flash cards he kept on a ring and would look over about labor signposts, reading over the practices, etc. When I was in labor, I found the full body relaxation les helpful than focusing on relaxing one part--it took my mind off the contraction more. So it definitely good to be comfortable with all the practices, because you won't know what works best for you till you're in labor. I think I'd ask myself if I really feel like DH and I aren't ready, or if I'm more upset at the principle of it and feeling like not practicing means he doesn't care. If you really don't think you're ready, negotiate a plan and a goal, rather than just making it about doing it, good luck!

utlawgirl

I wouldn't be too worried that you're not getting enough practice in, but you H's attitude seems to be a sticking point. Does he know how important this is to you? I think the two of you need to have a heart-to-heart about what you expect of him during labor and what you need from him, and WHY you are asking him to do the practice/relaxation exercises with you in the first place.

aylafsu88

We practiced about the same amount as you describe, 2-4 nights a week.  The Bradley class was great by making us aware of how important it was to practice relaxation and coping techniques.  However, we did not have time to do them every night.  We settled for 2-4 nights a week depending on our work schedule.  Honestly, some of the techniques like the side lying technique ended up being a real waste of time.  In labor I never wanted to lay down.  I only wanted to be on hands and knees in the tub or leaning on the wall/H.  I think it worked out well for us with the amount of practicing we did and the techniques we ended up utilizing.  IMO the most important thing about the Bradley method is that it gets you to think about birth each week and educated you on positions and way to cope with pain.  GL!

pixieprincss

For DS1, we were able to get in  practice a few nights a week. For DS2, we were lucky to practice together once every couple of weeks. DH never mastered leading visualizations, even when I wrote them out for him. So, I turned to recorded ones and guiding myself. But, DH was great at reminding me to breathe, relax, massage, counter-pressure, etc. and was extremely engaged.

Is he engaged in classes? Seeming to "get it" during the days you do try? Keeping up with the homework? Otherwise engaged? I can't say don't stress since I don't know your DH. But, I can say that it isn't the end of the world to not check off every prep box in Bradley if those other things are happening.