working mom guilt

Jdismybug1

Does this feeling ever end?

I went back to work when dd was 9wks old.

We have a routine, and shes happy almost all the time, so thats not an issue.

When i get home if i dont spend all my energy paying attention to her she gets mad. I literally have to sneak in the house and hope she doesnt see me if i have to pee.

shes 6 months old so shes always doing something new. Like trying to crawl. I feel like i miss out so much, i missed her first real laugh, and it broke my heart.

Please tell me i wont always feel so guilty ab leaving her every morning.

ByeBabyBunting

I know how hard it is, and it does get better. I think once they get to the age where they make friends and can tell you about their day that helps a lot. I know it is still a ways off for you, but you'll get through it, I promise. 

Is she in daycare center? One big consolation for me is that he does so much at his daycare - now that he is in the toddler room they go out twice a day and they do an art project every day plus they read books in circle time very day, and they don't watch any TV there, which honestly, is more activities than we would do at home if I was a SAHM.  

Sorry it is hard right now, and GL! 

kj07

I don't usually feel guilty about working.  I miss my son and sometimes wish I could spend more time with him, but I like working and I like being an adult, and when he's deep into a terrible twos tantrum I can't wait to turn him over to someone else.

You can work on reframing your focus.  Think of all the things your daughter is getting because you work.  Is she in a daycare?  That's more people to love her.  This morning at daycare my son saw a teacher from his infant class.  He got a huge smile on his face and ran over and gave her a giant hug - this after he's been out of her classroom for over a year.  Also, he's learning so much in daycare.  I'm really bad at breaking things down into steps, but his daycare teachers are good at that.  So they're the ones that are really helping him with learning how to get his shoes on and off by himself.  

danieliza1127

SouthSideDrea:

I don't feel guilty. I mean, I have my days, but on the whole I like my job, I love my kid, our routine is good, everybody is happy.

Same here.  My LO is 10 months old and once he was crawling and generally playing well by himself, the evenings just got easier and easier.  He plays, we play together, we eat dinner, the time goes by.   Maybe it's because he plays well independently, I don't know.  Hopefully it gets easier for you as the baby gets older and more mobile.

I really have never struggled with the working mom guilt that a lot of people talk about.  The only time I have is when I tried to take him to the child watch at the Y so I could go to yoga.  It was a weeknight so I picked him up from daycare, went to the Y and did my class, and by the time we got home it was time for him to go to bed.  I felt really bad that I wasn't spending any time with him on those nights, so I quit going.  Which depending on how you look at it isn't great for me, the whole "take care of yourself" thing. 

golfbride11

I am a WM out of necessity - not because I love it.  So, I understand where you're coming from a little.  It's not so much the guilt as the feeling I'm missing out on something.  

What I've learned in my short 3 years of mother hood is that there is guilt enough to go around - no matter what you're doing.  Mothers feel guilty about everything.  SAHMs feel guilty about stuff and so do WMs.

I just drink a lot of wine to make it all better.   

SoDoMojo

I think "mom guilt" is a constant thing, working or SAH. I SAH and I constantly worry that DS isn't getting what he needs. Chin up mama!

FWIW when DS was 4 to 6 months I couldn't leave the room without him flipping his sh!t. It was annoying to say the least.

Runaway22

Your DCP is totally failing you if you're letting them tell you about any "firsts." They should keep that sh!t to themselves so YOU get to witness all the firsts. For seriously. 

Sorry you're feeling bad, though. I am dreading the day I go back to work  

proudworkingmom82

I think it gets easier.  DD is 4.5 and I don't feel one bit guilty anymore.  Yes I do miss her from time to time but I know I am doing what I have to do.