School-Aged Children
"No dessert for a week"
Hello,
DH and I are discussing the appropriateness of this punishment for our 5 year old. He says its completely okay bc it'll make an impact. I say she'll forget why she's banned from dessert by day 2 and just focus on the no dessert part.
Would you mind sharing your thoughts?
TIA!!!!
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Re: "No dessert for a week"
I agree with you. I would not deny dessert for a week as a punishment. In fact, I would not use food as a reward or punishment.
What is she being punished for? Or are you just thinking of possible ways to punish in the future, if you need something stronger than a verbal correction?
Good point!!
The reason we were talking about this was because the other night, she had the most extreme meltdown I've ever witnessed any of my children have. We left something at her dance studio, but I told her we would get it next week at class because we needed to get home. She lost it. I don't think she cared so much about the item... She just had a million emotions liked up. I pulled oer the car to talk to her, got her out to hold her.... Then it got crazy. She started hitting/punching/kicking me. In that moment. She has been all of a sudden going through some major separation anxiety and really wants the school year to be over. (I will be home with the kids all summer, and we are all very excited about this.)
After she calmed down, she said oer and over that she was so sorry for hurting me and that she loves me so much. I kept telling her that what she did was not okay, but I forgave her and love her no matter what. I believe that her acknowledgment of what happened was "punishment" enough... I think something bigger was happening that simply breaking a rule. DH said "no way. That is NOT it..she needs fore." I worry that I tend to be too easy on the kids.... So that's why I turned to this board for some thoughts. I didn't want to bother anyone with the whole deal, but I might as well --- you may have been there before.
Thanks!!
One of THOSE type meltdowns!!! Yea, we've discovered with DD's that there are major issues with school/bus to the point that we're finding a different one for her next year. Three years is enough at that place. I'm tired of my kid getting bullied by the donor's kids and not a dang thing being done about it when it is brought to the school's attention on multiple occasions (including at least one "I could kill you" by one of the kids..)..
Above all else, you do what works! With DD right now, she threw one of those types of meltdowns and she's without TV & computer for a week. Had she kept going and not stayed in her room to cool off, she'd have had two weeks. But for her, it makes an impact because we live out in the country and she'd normally have some TV time before starting homework, and then on weekends we just sort of chill out with it on as background noise.. The funny thing is by the end of the week, she's pretty mellow and doesn't even realize that the punishment time is over..
I try to make punishments fit the crime as much as possible. No dessert has no correlation with melting down. Generally, for us, something like that leads to him spending some time in his room "because he must be tired if he can't control himself". Either an early bedtime or immediate 5-10 minutes up there when we get home.