Hubby Got a New Job In Another City (Very Long!)

tayrob1986

My hubs got a job offer last week at a great company. A big company. Which means better salary and benefits. But its also in another city. About an hour and a half away from where we live currently. We have friends that live in the city we will eventually move to. So, thankfully, he is able to live with them for a couple days out of the week. But, that also means that me and my daughter will be by ourselves. We discussed this until there is nothing else to discuss. It is definitely the right move, especially for the future. He will have many opportunities to move up and such. I am fine with staying by myself with her, but that doesn't mean I won't be sad or miss him (and so will our daughter).

We are hoping it won't take long to sell our house(everyone hopes for that, right?! Ha!) We are going to list it for a couple months and then if it doesn't sell then lease it out.We are approved for a second mortgage, but we would prefer to not have two mortgage payments a month. I can't decide if we should go ahead and list the house, or give him 30 days with the new job first? I know how hard long distance is. We did it for 4 1/2 years through college(we've been together 11 years come this September.) I just hope that we wont be apart for more than six months. He will be home on the weekends, so it isn't that bad.

 On the plus side, for purposes of showing the house. If it's just me and my daughter then it won't get nearly as messy. So if we have to run out while a realtor wants to show it, then it should be pretty tidy! Trying to find all the positives I can. Any of you guys ever dealt with something like this? Any words of wisdom? TIA! 

MrMrsandBaby

No advice but congrats to your hubs on the new job!  I would say list the house sooner rather than later...it is getting to the "hot" part of the year for home sales so you want to be on the market when people are looking.

Good luck!

jmccall79

Not advice either, really, just wanted to say congratulations!  It sounds like things may be a little stressful that start out but maybe getting a "fresh start" somewhere will be fun.  Skype...it may become your best friend for during the week, if you have the ability to do it.  Good luck to you guys.

tayrob1986

Those are my thoughts. I want to list this week. Hubs says I'm getting ahead of myself, and that we need to hold off. Hopefully, we will come to an agreement we are both comfortable with. I'd just hate to miss a family that would want it. Ya know?

tayrob1986

We are going to skype and watch our favorite shows together(facetime while doing so.) And do both a lot for our daughter. I think once we get in a rhythm everything will be just fine!

jldubb0626

Congrats to your DH! I agree with him that I'd let him get through his probation period (if there is one) just in case.

firewife9278

CONGRATS on the new job for your husband!! That's awesome!

On another note though, a 1.5 hour commute really isn't that bad. DH and I both drive an hour or so to work (in opposite directions - so we are about 2 hours apart during the day), and we both come home every day. At our condo (we just moved to our house in January), DH drove almost 1.5 hours. My friend who lives down the street's husband has a 2 hour each way commute and he comes home daily also, and they don't plan to move. I guess I'm just saying that a long commute doesn't necessarily mean that you'll have to be in a long-distance marriage!

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Jeanine88

I am in a similar situation. My H was laid off from his job in December and thankfully got a new job in March where we moved back to the area where my friends and family are. It's been awesome, but this new job is intense. This is week 3 where is he is gone for most of the week and when he is working at the office, he is sometimes there until 10-11pm at night. It's definitely rough- I SAH, so it's just me and Austin all day long, but it is a fantastic job and he is very successful. We knew what the job would entail before him taking it, and it is just rough right now- it will get better, he will be around more, etc., we just have to get through this initial hump.

 My son definitely misses my H a lot- last weekend he barely left his side.  But, we try to make the weekends really count- on Fridays we have "Happy Hour" where the 3 of us go to get appetizers/drinks around 4-5pm so we have time to be out, but can be home for Austin's bedtime. Then we try to plan one family day over the weekend, and one day to catch up/ go to the park/ hang out. This past weekend we went to the zoo on Saturday and the park on Sunday.  

The days are long, but the weeks do go by quickly. My H is always there if I need him. If I were in your position, I would pick 1 day a week to maybe go meet him in the city with your daughter? Maybe you can go and have dinner and then she can sleep in the car on the way home? Just an idea.

 I also would put your house up for sale now.  Get a good realtor- we are working with one now to buy and his average selling rate is 44 days on the market.  If you don't put it up now, make sure your house is up to date and seller ready- for example, as a  buyer, we are running into issues now that the house we want to buy needs a new septic tank, it also needed new rugs,and paint- and the seller just had to do those things.  Just a thought. 

If you'd like to chat further or have any questions, let me know! congrats to your H!  

Mar5195

The market is picking up. Get that house listed soon! Good luck I'm sure it will all work out. And congrats to your Hubby on his new job. That is fantastic he found a great company.

tayrob1986

This post just made my day. Thank you so much for responding! We decided last night that we are putting our house up immediately. Our realtor (the one who actually sold us our current house) is who we are using. She is really great! She comes Saturday to look our house over. I'm de-cluttering all of our closets today (which needed to be done with selling the house or not) and trying to get things really in order. 

We put a brand new 7,500 heating and ac until 3 years ago. We also put a bigger hot water heater under the house one year ago. We will be taking our appliances with us (they were really expensive), but I would buy new appliances(fridge, dishwasher, and oven-most likely one of those 3 package deals through Best Buy or Lowes) for the home buyer unless they have their own.  I hope that it sells quickly. This house was about to be put on the market by our realtor when she showed it to us, we offered before the sellers had a chance to list it. We also live in a great area, right beside a country club/golf community as well as a fantastic elementary school that is literally a 2 minute drive away. I hope it is appealing to others like it was to us. We shall see!

I'd love to keep in touch during this whole process. It would be nice to have someone who is going through the same thing to talk to! Great suggestion to go and meet the hubs for dinner one night. That didn't even cross my mind!