Attachment Parenting

XP How often to 4 month olds wake to eat

When she was around 6 weeks old she was giving me 8 hour stretches, and these have gotten shorter and shorter. Now she's waking anywhere between every 3- 4 hours (and has been for a couple of months so it's not the 4 month wakeful) Occasionally I get a 5 hour stretch. 

I don't know if maybe she's not taking enough in during the day or something else. i think she's been getting reflux so wondered if that could be disturbing her in the night, but she will not be resettled without milk, and she has a real drink not just a nuzzle for comfort. So she seems genuinely hungry. I do think her increasing noseyness during the day is affecting how well she drinks during the day.

DD1 was completely different to this so I'm just at a bit of a loss as to what to do. I've kept thinking it was just a phase that would pass, but 2 months later and it's not getting better. It's starting to get me down.

Thoughts? Advice? Comforting words of support? 
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Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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Re: XP How often to 4 month olds wake to eat

  • It sounds normal to me. DS wanted to nurse 3-4 hours at that age at night. From 7-12 months, it was every 2 hours. There are some "this is normal" affirming gems in this...https://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleepstudies/

     

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  • imagepixieprincss:

    It sounds normal to me. DS wanted to nurse 3-4 hours at that age at night. From 7-12 months, it was every 2 hours. There are some "this is normal" affirming gems in this...https://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleepstudies/

     

    thank you i feel much better. the mums group i go to has a lot of babies that sleep 12 hrs. we had a guest speaker who was all about 4 mth olds should sleep 10 hrs you just have to make them.

    which goes against my grain but was making me doubt myself. 

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    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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  • My DD slept 8hr stretches from 1mos old to 5mos old.  Then it was like she completely reverted back to being a newborn.  Every 2-3hrs around the clock.  It slowly became every 3-4hrs which lasted up until a couple of months ago.  She now sleeps 6-8hrs at night.  Sometimes she'll go back down if she's only slept 6hrs, sometimes not.
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  • At 2(years), DD still wakes up about every 3-4 hours and would nurse if she could.  (I partial night weaned, outside of being sick, she gets to nurse once at night between bedtime and morning.)  Every kid is so different.  At 4mo old, DD nursed at least three times a night.  (DD was refluxy as well, and we did end up using medication.  The meds helped the reflux but she's always been a big nurser.)  I think every kid is different.
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  • Well it has been awhile for me, but DS always woke a lot to eat. I remember 4 months being very difficult.  Isn't there a 4 month wakeful period?  Did you check out kellymom.com? 

    I also noticed a pattern that anytime DS was going through a new stage or learning something new he would wake more often to nurse.  Like, crawling, walking, talking more, etc.  If he started waking up more I would think..oh yeah he just started doing this or is working more at that. 

    Good luck.  I know it can be rough, although sitting here 4 years later I have to search for those memories and I don't think of those moments as awful. 

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  • I don't have a lot of advice, just empathy. We're going through the same thing. Two nights ago she woke up practically every hour. I would try to just put her paci back in, but most of the time she wasn't having it.

    Last night she only woke up four times. Twice I put the paci back in and she went for it, twice I had to nurse.  I think what might have made the difference is that I I sat up and fed her as much as possible. For a couple of months (around the time the problems started) I was staying on my side for her feedings. and I think I was drifting off and unlatching before she was done. Last night she had much longer stretches. But, who knows, that may not have been why. We're also struggling with naps and I think that is effecting her night sleep as well. Good luck!

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  • imageteambabyf:

    I don't have a lot of advice, just empathy. We're going through the same thing. Two nights ago she woke up practically every hour. I would try to just put her paci back in, but most of the time she wasn't having it.

    Last night she only woke up four times. Twice I put the paci back in and she went for it, twice I had to nurse.  I think what might have made the difference is that I I sat up and fed her as much as possible. For a couple of months (around the time the problems started) I was staying on my side for her feedings. and I think I was drifting off and unlatching before she was done. Last night she had much longer stretches. But, who knows, that may not have been why. We're also struggling with naps and I think that is effecting her night sleep as well. Good luck!

     

    I've been thinking this is part of the problem for us too. She'll have a reasonable drink on one side and we'll both drift to sleep and then a couple of hours later she's ready for more. So I'm going to really force myself to sit up. 

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    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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  • Another thing to consider is that reflux is worse at night, due to their position (laying down). What may look like hunger could actually be an attempt to drink and soothe their throats. Reflux babies will not always self regulate like regular babies. 

    ETA: Reflux peaks at 4 months, btw.  

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  • imageJoannaJes:

    Another thing to consider is that reflux is worse at night, due to their position (laying down). What may look like hunger could actually be an attempt to drink and soothe their throats. Reflux babies will not always self regulate like regular babies. 

    ETA: Reflux peaks at 4 months, btw.  

    I actually just took LO to the Dr today as she screamed at me for an hour the last couple of nights. Both times about an hour after feeding, plus a few other classic signs of reflux. Hopefully the meds will give her some relief. 

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    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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