Do you want visitors?

Fielding2b

So my BFF is at the hospital in labor right now and I'm thinking about going to visit her this evening.  She and I have already talked about it so I know I am welcome to go up there.  It seems like she will have a TON of visitors though between family and friends...I saw people on facebook talking about going up there.  I don't think I would like to have all those people right after I have a baby.  I would rather wait until we get home.  Do you want lots of visitors or would you rather people just wait until later?  

Carlilebrit

Close friends and family. That's it! No more ppl for me!

afrochick09

We'll only have my side visiting since Mh's family is so far away. Friends i'm planning on having visit later, that way they can actually visit with MH and I and meet baby too. 

WheeLinTheSky3

With my first I never thought about it and accepted all visitors. I really regret it. I had a constant parade of people who came, set up camp in my room, and didnt leave for hours. Some family, some friends, and some distant friends I hadnt seen in forever that just showed up.  This time I plan to have DH run interference and turn away any uninvited guests (ie " thanks so much for coming but mom and baby are sleeping now, we will call you once we are home and settled in") My ILs would come and stay for hours, this time I plan to ask DH to ask them to head home after awhile to give me time to rest.

I blame my naivete as a FTM and the constant stream of people in my room on my difficulties with breastfeeding. In retrospect, there were so many opportunites that my son was asking to feed that I missed and I think I would have been more in tune with him had I been focused solely on him and not on entertaining people.

MitsB707

I think I just want immediate family, but also don't want anyone lingering in the hospital all day the whole time I'm there. I told dh that I also only want it to be us for the first two weeks so we can get used to our new little family and Tyler can get used to our pets. My mom will be coming for a week to help, but I think that will be after dh's paternity leave is up. We're also planning on doing a BBQ or some sort of family/friend gathering over Labor Day weekend so everyone can meet him.

ELauren88

I want visitors, but I am putting myself in a "secure" room. This means that people have to have a 4 digit code to get my room information, and unless they have it the front desk doesn't even tell them if I'm in the hospital. It's not to keep anyone out, it mainly so people have to call first. I really don't want people just walking in when I'm trying to BF or if we're sleeping.

cbm3228

I liked having people come visit while I was waiting to deliver!  

It was nice to see friends in between the marathon of Everybody Loves Raymond I was watching    Plus I think the laughing with my friends helped move things along faster.

V&G101808

I think only my closest friends and family will stop by to visit (and since I have a big family that's still a lot of people).

I think I'd rather then visit while I'm in the hospital and have people helping me versus coming over during the first few weeks... Either way I'm sure we'll have guests at home and in hospital...

WashingtonQueen

I am fine with hospital visitors. I would rather them go there than to my house that will be in shambles for a while.

AlexKate45

Only my parents are welcome to visit in the hospital. And my sister but I don't think she'll be in town then.

As for other guests when I get home,  I will just play it by ear.  My ILs are not welcome until I am ready for them.  I also made that mistake last time.

cole2144

I was exhausted after my labor. I was happy to have my parents and in-laws for short visits but other than that I only wanted my husband and my baby.

MitsB707

ELauren88:

I want visitors, but I am putting myself in a "secure" room. This means that people have to have a 4 digit code to get my room information, and unless they have it the front desk doesn't even tell them if I'm in the hospital. It's not to keep anyone out, it mainly so people have to call first. I really don't want people just walking in when I'm trying to BF or if we're sleeping.

I'm going to see if my hospital does this, too. This is a good idea!

Fielding2b

WashingtonQueen:

I am fine with hospital visitors. I would rather them go there than to my house that will be in shambles for a while.

Good point.  I didn't think about that.

Fielding2b

ELauren88:

I want visitors, but I am putting myself in a "secure" room. This means that people have to have a 4 digit code to get my room information, and unless they have it the front desk doesn't even tell them if I'm in the hospital. It's not to keep anyone out, it mainly so people have to call first. I really don't want people just walking in when I'm trying to BF or if we're sleeping.

Fielding2b

Maritza707:

ELauren88:

I want visitors, but I am putting myself in a "secure" room. This means that people have to have a 4 digit code to get my room information, and unless they have it the front desk doesn't even tell them if I'm in the hospital. It's not to keep anyone out, it mainly so people have to call first. I really don't want people just walking in when I'm trying to BF or if we're sleeping.

I'm going to see if my hospital does this, too. This is a good idea!

 

I agree.  Sounds perfect.  I wish our hosptial would do this.

MrsBlindLove

Personally I think I would only want family if any. Dh side is at least a 12 hour drive away and my family is 3,000 miles away so we don't have to worry about it. After a week or two I think I will start allowing friends to come visit.

I just remember what a physical mess I was after my miscarriage delivery and I am guessing it's going to be worse so knowing that a week or two is what I'm allowing myself. If I change my mind I know people will be waiting in the wings.

BlueJewelM

I did not want visitors. But my Mil and SIL came anyway. Oh well. It wasn't that bad.

I am hoping it just be MIL this time. She is taking care of DS during labor. I actually preferred having visitors at home. I was more comfortable and they usually brought food. Win win.

virginiamama85

I think that having visitors in the hospital was much more difficult than at home.  Maybe because I was recovering from a csection, but I didn't like having visitors at the hospital.  Once we were at home, I thought it was kind of nice to be able to just sit and relax with people, and I think visitors are more comfortable in a house.  Also, people were so willing to bring dinners or whatever once I was at home.  Not one single person just "showed up" though ever, everyone called first, whether it was at the hospital or at home.

NiksMama

Our time at the hospital after DS was born was so hectic. We had a few visitors, but I asked most people to wait until we were settled back home.

cameronzmom

we only have close family and friends. Everyone else can wait.

BelhurstBride

I'd rather have visitors in the hospital than at home. Once we got home I really just wanted to be left alone to figure it all out with DH. 

FirstBaby87

I dont want anyone there while im in labour, But afterwards I wouldn't mind visitors. It depends who they are, close friends and family are more then welcome. I'm hoping the visits are short and sweet.

ludali

At hospital and waiting for baby...close family at most.

And after baby at hospital, family and close friends...but will cut it off if feeling overwhelmed or like we're not getting enough quiet time with LO.

Once home...probably close family for the first week, then start welcoming friends over.

lkobriant

Nope, it'll just be me and DH.  Both of our families are in other states and our friends will be notified in advance of the meet and greet BBQ a few weeks later so to avoid any 'drop ins'.  I'd prefer to get to know our LO, rest, and get into a routine before having others come by.

 

BelhurstBride

Because it's your BFF why don't you text her and ask her what she wants? 

TurtleMomma

I want it to just be me and dh initially and have everyone else visit when we get home. I want the hospital to be family time.

Unfortunately, dh's family will not tolerate that. Everyone is Up in everyone else's business and boundaries are nonexistent. What I plan to do is tell everyone they MUST wait to be invited to visit and that I WILL turn people away if they haven't been invited.

Mitchellovesnemo

I'm actually not sure. I know I dont want random people to come. But maybe my parents & siblings & his parents & siblings is what I'm thinking. I think everyone else can wait til we go home. I'm not going to "check in" on FB & advertise that we are at the hospital so I think that will help. I dont need my phone being blown up while I'm trying to give birth lol!

magdalina.h

Close friends and family the day of my c/s yes. Everyone else will come the following days.

kje120

As far as visitors in the hospital we had my parents come in a couple hours after he was born, the in-laws came the next afternoon and two of my good friends came after the in-laws left. That seemed like a good amount of visitors to me.  I don't want a steady stream of people, but a couple is nice - in all honesty it can get a little boring in the hospital.

kwhite27

Not sure how long the hospital stay is generally in the US, but in Canada they get you in and out as quick as possible.  As long as there are no complications and both you and baby can poop your outta there!

That being said, I cant see too many visitors (besides immediate family) coming by to visit.  I know my sister had to actually let the hospital know that I would be visiting and they put me on a list.  Not anyone was just allowed to come in and out to visit. 

For the short time I will be there (hopefully!) I would rather have visitors come to the house. 

rissa06

it depends on how I'm doing and who it is .  we had very few visitors both births and I don't feel like it will change for this one.

Fielding2b

BelhurstBride:

Because it's your BFF why don't you text her and ask her what she wants? 

I will def call her before I go up there. Even though she said it was fine she may have changed her mind by now.  It just got me thinking about things. 

caramia582

It depends on the person.  I am the type that loves to have people around so I would welcome any visitors that wanted to come.  It's fun!

WashingtonQueen

kwhite27:

Not sure how long the hospital stay is generally in the US, but in Canada they get you in and out as quick as possible.  As long as there are no complications and both you and baby can poop your outta there!

That being said, I cant see too many visitors (besides immediate family) coming by to visit.  I know my sister had to actually let the hospital know that I would be visiting and they put me on a list.  Not anyone was just allowed to come in and out to visit. 

For the short time I will be there (hopefully!) I would rather have visitors come to the house. 

At my hospital they keep you for a minimum of 24 hours after the baby is born, 48 hours if you tested positive for GBS.

treehugginbride

Family, definitely, and close friends, maybe.  Our hospital has a visitor limit, so I'm not sure how that will work out. But SO and I have decided we will be barricaded in our home for about three days afterwards with only our parents allowed, so if any friends wanna see the baby, they'll pretty much have to wait.

thellx

In the hospital, it will be immediate family only (our parents and siblings), and I don't want them just coming and going freely from the room or camping out in the room for hours. They can come in when I feel up to having visitors. They'll be staying at a hotel about a mile from the hospital with tons of restaurants and things to do nearby, so they won't feel the need to constantly be at the hospital hanging out in my room.

We don't want to be entertaining a bunch of visitors in our home, either. Besides the fact that we don't want the baby exposed to germs from all of these friends/family members coming over and passing him around, we don't want to deal with the hassle of having to entertain company. It is surprising how many people just invite themselves to come meet the baby/spend a weekend after the birth. We have a select few people who we've invited to come stay for a few days in the months following the birth, but other than that we really don't want visitors.

That.Just.Happened

I didn't want any.  Our immediate family and my BFF showed up at the hospital once I actually started pushing and it looked like birth was eminent, but no one was allowed back to the room to see us until about 2 hours after birth.  Then they all came and met DD and hung out for about 45 minutes before going home. It was also close to midnight at that point, so who knows if they would have tried to stay longer if it hadn't been so late - I hope not.

After the actual birth, family stopped by the hospital a few times but never stayed too long.  It was nice to see them for a few minutes but I would have hated to have a ton of friends coming by, or anyone hanging out for more than about 30 minutes.  

kmichln

I'd only want visitors if they were really close family/friends. Definitely wouldn't want any visitors while still in labor. Too much going on. Plus I hate having a bunch of people around when I'm in pain, I'd rather be left alone for that part. Honestly with DS I wished that people would have waited until at least a day or two after he was born to come visit. I wish I had more "bonding", alone time when he was born. 

MrsAJohnsonToBe

I'm delivering at the hospital I work at, so I know my coworkers will all find their way into the locked maternity unit to say hi.  Bright side is they will be on the clock and only able to stay a few minutes. Other than that I'm hoping just immediate family and close friends. 

lisamoe

I didn't mind close family. Everyone else was kind of an annoying. I was trying to learn to BF and had to nurse every 2 hours and it seemed like I was always having to do that when a visitor came. It just made the situation more uncomfortable for me.

Adrie25

This happens alot people are so excited to see the baby in the hospital fresh out but once your home noone is around, I will only be having my sisters an brothers come an visit in the hospital only because they help me out so much being pregnant an were close. Friends no they can wait until I have a small homecoming party for the baby, seeing I don't know the sex I'm not doing a traditional baby shower : people will be mad they can't come to the hospital but I don't want my day old baby being help by so many people at one time is hat selfish? Lol