can my mom host my shower?

shellyco

Mobile users: can my mom host my shower?

I'm sure you've had this question asked lots of times.  I did try to google and it seemed to be the majority of q & a type sites said "yes".

My mom has said that she would love to have a baby shower for me but doesn't think it is ok etiquette-wise to do it.  Around here showers (wedding and baby) are thrown by friends/other family members.  I've never been to a shower hosted by the mother.  My mom and I sort of think that people in my circle might roll their eyes at my mom hosting. 

My friends are scattered across the country and/or broke grad students.  They rightly won't be offering.  I'm totally okay with not having a shower.  But if my mom brings it up again and it's appropriate for her to host, I would accept. 

BeckyTheEngineer

My mom hosted mine. Perfectly acceptable in my family.

Lelo2006

My mom and my mil are hosting two small family only showers. Aunts, grandmas, cousins, etc. each shower is around 12 guests.

My mil's best friend is hosting another shower for my friends. That one will be larger; probably 40 or so. I would feel a little weird if my mom was hosting that shower.

LoriLee14

my MIL co-hosted mine.

diamondduck13

Paraphrasing my post on the other thread, from my observations family hosted appears to be the norm on the bump. But my mom follows the old school etiquette and therefore considers it not appropriate for her to host. My MIL is not hosting one either. We're in the south, for what that's worth with regards to regional differences.

shellyco

diamondduck13:

Paraphrasing my post on the other thread, from my observations family hosted appears to be the norm on the bump. But my mom follows the old school etiquette and therefore considers it not appropriate for her to host. My MIL is not hosting one either. We're in the south, for what that's worth with regards to regional differences.

Oops, I didn't realize there was another post on this subject!  Sorry for the dup question. 

We are in the upper midwest, and like in the south we tend to be a little more conservative in traditions.

Thank you all for the advice.  I definitely have some time to think about it- my mom hasn't even firmly offered yet!  

cinderin

My mom also thinks immediate family should not host. I think "Miss Manners" also agrees with this. My mom and her friends would definitely side eye (think it isn't appropriate) for her to host. 

Her BFF offered to host a shower for me (my mom has hosted a shower for her daughter). So that is nice.  

I agree with the PP, if it is not considered appropriate in your circle, I would think twice about it before going ahead with it.  

diamondduck13

shellyco:

diamondduck13:

Paraphrasing my post on the other thread, from my observations family hosted appears to be the norm on the bump. But my mom follows the old school etiquette and therefore considers it not appropriate for her to host. My MIL is not hosting one either. We're in the south, for what that's worth with regards to regional differences.

Oops, I didn't realize there was another post on this subject!  Sorry for the dup question. 

We are in the upper midwest, and like in the south we tend to be a little more conservative in traditions.

Thank you all for the advice.  I definitely have some time to think about it- my mom hasn't even firmly offered yet!  

No worries, it was the "shower planning" thread, which had a more generally phrased question than yours. Good luck and have fun, regardless of what's decided!

mmm50

I think whether your mom hosting is appropriate also depends on your circumstances.  For example, I was invited to one hosted by the MTB's mom, but MTB is not married, not even in a relationship really, still lives at home, doesn't really work or go to college, etc.  I didn't like that her mom was throwing it because her mom lives with her, and I know she will be doing the majority of providing for the baby since MTB doesn't really have her s**t together.  It was almost like MTB was throwing it herself.  So that kind of rubbed me the wrong way- almost like her mom was throwing the shower so it was less stuff she had to buy.  

 But if your situation is different then I think it is fine.  For example if you are married, or engaged and haven't lived at home for a while, it is totally acceptable for your mom to throw it.   

[Deleted User]

It's totally fine in my family and circle of friends. 

Erinm278

My mom and MIL are cohosting 2 separate showers for me.  I don't see any problem with it!

526SadieSadie

It's an outdated thing for the grandmothers to be not to host.  I think it's totally fine.

raspberrytea15

Yes. Definitely.

RoadToFertility

My mother and husband are hosting my shower.

LaceyV13

My mom and sister are throwing mine. Its co-ed family and friends. I've always seen showers thrown by the grandma's to be or god mother's to be.

colleen hurlbert

diamondduck13:

Paraphrasing my post on the other thread, from my observations family hosted appears to be the norm on the bump. But my mom follows the old school etiquette and therefore considers it not appropriate for her to host. My MIL is not hosting one either. We're in the south, for what that's worth with regards to regional differences.

We also follow old school etiquette and feel that it is inappropriate for the mother of the bride or the tobemom to throw the shower. My Aunts through my shower. And for what its worth, we are from the north.

msyoon

sure why not?