Nevermind.

melsco84

I am so frustrated and I really need help understanding why so many working moms have a problem with SAHMs.

H and I made the decision together before we got pregnant that I would stay home, as he works a great job where he works from a home office about 50% of the time and outside of the home for the other 50%. He makes enough that we are comfortable, and he enjoys his job. In my job, every penny I would be making would go right into costs to cover child care. I previously worked as a nanny, so I knew that I could be the best mom possible by staying home with our kids. I have the patience for it, and on top of that I have years worth of schedules, lesson plans, projects, etc. to help our days run smoothly (at least for the most part!). This is all not to say that we don't have stressful times, but for the most part, we are a very happy family. 

I understand that as a working mom, you work your butt off all day. Here's the thing though: I do, too. I would also NEVER judge a working mom for working. I get that for some to be the best mom they can be, they need that time working outside the home. I also understand that some families need that second income to support their lifestyle, whatever that may be. I just don't understand why I am constantly needing to defend being a SAHM to my family and "friends." What is so wrong with it??

financialdiva

Joined today and this is your first post??

[Deleted User]

tl;dr. Stay home, work, why would I give a crap what you do? I don't even know you.

And, lol @ "I worked as a nanny so I know I could be the best mom possible staying home."

MommyKayla11

financialdiva:

Joined today and this is your first post??

<img src="https://community.thebump.com/cs/e

[Deleted User]

Andplusalso, go vent to the Stay At Home Moms board

<------------

You'll find a lot more sympathy/commiseration/whatever the hell you're looking for over there.

iluvmylab

I only judge SAHMs who think WM get a break by going to work.  Um, I don't know what they think I do at work, but my job is not a "break."  LMAO.  

LoCarb

1st post and starting a mommy war?

LoCarb

Betty&Co:

tl;dr. Stay home, work, why would I give a crap what you do? I don't even know you.

And, lol @ "I worke

[Deleted User]

LoCarb:

Betty&Co:<

thespianlawyer

I'm not sure what sort of response you were expecting to get by posting a vent about working moms on the working moms board.  I agree with PP - vent on the SAHM board.  You'll get much more sympathy over there.  I've never judged any of my

melsco84

First, I did not post to stir up trouble. Honestly. I posted to find out opinions from working moms on why this seems to happen.

 Second, I did not mean I know everything because I was a nanny. I worded that poorly. I meant I knew I would be

melsco84

See, this is how I feel. I'm happy your situation works for you, and I just wish everyone would let it go when something different works for someone else.

megann831

my only problem with SAHMs are the moms who feel they need to justify how hard they work (kind of like you've done) or when they need to thank the world on facebook for how lucky they are to be able to spend so much time with their kids because you nev

iverske9

I do not know who you are friends with who are working moms, but I do not care if you choose to work or stay. Each person has to do what they are comfortable with. If you are happy than I say good for you. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise, I work a

laurakaz13

melsco84:

First, I did not post to stir up trouble. Honestly. I posted to find out opinions from working moms on why this seem

iluvmylab

melsco84:

First, I did not post to stir up trouble. Honestly. I posted to find out opinions from working moms on why this seem

ridesbuttons

um....nothing.

Your family and 'friends' need to backthefuckoff.

KathrynMD

Why do you give a sh!tabout what random people think about your life choices?

If it works for you and your family then ignore and move on.

groovygrl

I think the problem is that ppl on here generally do not judge or criticize anyone's decision to stay at home (in fact there are a number of women on here who would like to SAH but are not able to right now & they post about that also & generally

1026pumpkin

I've never seen a regular poster on this site bash SAHM or WM, all moms work their azzes off every day.  If someone bashes you, ask them why they said it to understand their motivations, don't come on a board of supportive working moms, accuse us of

melsco84

I'm glad some understood my question more clearly. I said in my OP "SOME WMs" not all. I never accused this board of being primarily against SAHMs or anything like that. Sorry it came off that way. I removed about a paragraphs worth of padding from my

Pandril19

melsco84:

. As WMs, I thought you might (as many now have, thank you) bring to light some reasons you have or have heard as t

DaisyJanie

melsco84:

I'm glad some understood my question more clearly. I said in my OP "SOME WMs" not all. I never accused this board of

*sparky*

EllaHella:

Sigh.

I mean, what do you even say to this?  You realize the dumbass judging goes both ways, right

RondackHiker

*sparky*:

EllaHella:</stro

schnena77

There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM but a lot of them seem to judge and are appalled by the fact that we are working and not staying at home.  Since I got pregnant one of My DH friend's wife kept asking if I was staying home and now that LO is h

Dochas

Betty&Co:

Andplusalso, go vent to the Stay At Home Moms board

<------------

You'll find a lot more symp

thespianlawyer

Ok, now that I see your issue is really an IL issue, not a "friends" or WM issue . . . you can't really stop talking to your ILs.  But like others have said, it's not really their business.  And they shouldn't put you down for making a decision

JWSchwarz

Maybe you're just surrounded by a bunch of aholes? Who really judges SAHM? Get the chip off your shoulder and find new friends.