Am I abnormal

asibilrud

I truly have nobody that Id feel comfortable saying this to, but is anyone feeling like they are suddenly not ready to be a mother? Dh and I are very secure financially and emotionally, but I am suddenly terrified at the thought of loosing my freedom completely.

It also doesnt help that dh says he is not one bit scared of being a father. I guess I just feel like I am essentially growing a stranger in my belly, and really hoping these fears will subside when I meet him...

ShereneT

Its totally normal to feel that way.  When you meet him you are going to fall instantly in love and won't be able to remember life before he came. 

Licia&Wayne

I felt the same way. My baby has been here for almost a week now, and while I don't always know what to do and get overwhelmed, I've never felt like I made a mistake or wasn't ready.

It's okay, and you're okay. What you're feeling isn't wrong, bad or unique. It's going to be fine.

DanandVan

Totally normal. Becoming a mom is a HUGE adjustment. You will no longer be #1 in your own life, but will be putting the needs of your baby first....for the next 18 years.

I had a really hard time adjusting after my 1st. I felt like I lost who I was - I was suddenly "Aidan's Mom" instead of all the other things I was before. My DH (like yours) wasn't phased at all, probably because they aren't giving anything up - just gaining a new title while keeping the rest of their identity in tact.

Anyway, just know that it is SO WORTH IT. Motherhood is one of the most amazing privileges!

maritimeme

We are the opposite.  I feel totally ready and am looking forward to the changes while DH is very stressed out.  And I feel bad because it seems there is nothing I can do tomake him feel better.  I am sure this is only temporary for him because I know he will make a great father but he gets stressed with major changes up until he is in the thick of things and has to just deal, and can no longer dwell.  I am sure the same will be for you once your LO is here. Just cold feet

 

AMomWithABlog

I am totally feeling this right now as my due date is only 10 days away. Suddenly I'm realizing all the things that I won't be able to easily do anymore.
I keep telling myself that my worries and "not ready" feelings will subside once I meet my little man. But it's true that we do have to go through a normal "mourning" process in regards to our freedom.

keg

Yep, I think it's totally normal.  I'm feeling the same way and I already have two kids! 

Dolls2011

I've been having the same feelings off and on but it seems pretty normal. One of my mom friends gave me some good advice that I will try to hang on to. She said, you'll have days when you're happy about being a mom and days when you'll be so tired and overwhelmed that you'll wish you never had kids. But that doesn't make you a bad person. It's okay and you'll move past it.

mhickey426

I have had that thought a couple of times during my pregnancy.  "did we do this too soon?", "did we make a huge mistake not waiting longer", "am I going to completely F this whole thing UP?", "Is my Dh really ready or is he going to resent me for having a baby?"  These are horrible thoughts to have, not because it makes you a bad person for thinking it but because it makes you feel bad. It puts a lump in your throat out of fear for no reason because everything will be ok.

This is the start of a new chapter with new experiences and fun times.  It is not going to always be easy but it will be all worth it!   

Omgzombies

I will also add that it is also normal not to fall instantly in love with the little person who is crying and placed upon your chest after birth.  It doesn't make you a bad mother, or unfit to be a parent.  Though there is a rush of hormones and infatuation with the baby for a lot of women, not everyone goes through that.  Falling in love for some people takes time, just like falling in love with anything.  It's also normal to mourn the loss of what was.  Just take it one day at a time, and I guarantee before you know it, you will have found your new normal, and truly love your baby through and through.  

 It is worrying about being a good mother that identifies you as a good mother.  Bad parents don't worry about those sorts of things.   

guilletskichuk

I haven't been feeling this way throughout my pregnancy...because I already went through these feelings when my stepkids came to live with us 8 months ago. They were only supposed to stay with us for 6 weeks over the summer but we were trying to get full-time custody of them so we were hoping that they would be staying with us for good. We got our BFP four days after the kids moved in. Talk about a crazy range of emotions!!! I had always thought that I would have the opportunity to bring a new life to this world with just me and DH and that I would be able to transition into motherhood as most moms do. But DH and I also wanted his children to have a better life and knew that we could provide that for them so we decided to go for full custody of them. It just so happens that the timing could have been better. At a time when I all of a sudden lost the freedoms I once had, I was also going through the early stages of pregnancy and all of the lovely hormones and emotions that come with that. I had a difficult time accepting that, in a matter of 8 months, our household was going from two to four to five people. It was very overwhelming at the time. However, after all of the adjustments we went through, I am happy to say that we are doing great as a family unit and are super excited to welcome this new little guy into our lives.

Please know that you are not alone and your feelings are completely normal.

amberdanielle68845

Your not abnormal, your human.  I had these exact thoughts just the other day.  I've been very involved with my 7 neices from birth but it just hit me that this child won't be going home with someone else at the end of the night.  The realization that even basic chores like grocery shopping will take more time and effort with a child in tow, no more just hopping in the car with a wallet and going.  Everything will take a little more time and planning and will be a new way of life.  But none the less it will be a very worth while new chapter in life.  It doesn't make you a bad person or mother, it makes you human.  You'll do great :-)

asibilrud

I am overwhelemed by the positive support. Each of your comments have made me feel so much better about what I thought I was wallowing in all alone...THANK YOU!!

ShadyKull

I just want to repeat what many others said. That is totally normal. Having a baby is a huge change and there are so many feelings and thoughts that are completely normal with it. Throughout this pregnancy, I have had days when I am so happy and confident in our decision to become parents and I have had many days when I am thinking/feeling "OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE WE DONE??!!" It is not pleasant to feel that way, but I just constantly remind myself that it IS normal and fine.

jamiedsgirl

I was totally scared with #1, even though he was very, very planned.  I wanted to keep him in my belly forever!  I liked having an "inside" baby.  With this one, I am just sick of being pregnant and want him out and want to get past the first few difficult weeks.