Parenting after 35
Scramblersmom
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What are your weekends like?
Scramblersmom
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I work full time so we usually spend the weekend paying bills, grocery shopping, house cleaning, laundry, etc. DH and I usually try to get out and do something fun with DS for at least a couple of hours. I really feel like I am in a rut...work M-F, chores Sat-Sun, Mon back to work. How do you manage getting everything done and making sure you have family fun time? What do your weekends usually look like?
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Re: What are your weekends like?
We both work full-time.
On Saturday, I get to sleep in while he gets up with DD and on Sundays, he gets to sleep in while I get up.
We also do grocery shopping, laundry etc... but on Saturday we try to take her to do something fun, even if it's just to play at the in door playground at the mall (while it's cold outside). On Sunday, we usually go to church and then to the ILs hosue for lunch. The rest of the day is lazy and included grocery shopping. Sometimes we go as a family, but usually DH does it alone while DD sleeps.
We're pretty low key.
I SAH but have a hard time getting all the HH stuff done during the week, so there's still stuff to do but we DO get to spend a lot of time together.
On Saturdays I've been trying to get out for a an hour or so to have a coffee all. by. myself. When I get home I relieve DH so he can have his lunch in peace, then it's afternoon meltdown time, then dinner - which we sometimes have out.
I make DS pancakes or waffles on Sundays, then we usually go to a farmers market and get a coffee, then come home and do any chores that need doing. If he naps early enough then we go out for a walk and/or trip to the playground before dinner.
ETA - I forgot DS's soccer Saturday mornings.
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Weekends for us involve home maintenance (mundane like laundry and oven-cleaning and unusual like planting/pruning or stocking the campfire area with wood) for at least half of one of the days. Obviously grocery shopping.
I have always tried to have one kid-centred activity for each of Saturday and Sunday. It might just be going to visit a friend, going to the pool (winter) or beach (summer), skiing (winter) boating (summer), whatever seems interesting. Harder when the kids were toddlers. Lots of visiting my mom, MIL, SIL or whomever would take me, lol, in those years.
I wouldn't call it a 'rut'. I'd call it a routine, the one that gets your life done right now. It'll change up as your LO gets older, or if you add another one.
I am having much more fun now (kids are 4 and 5.5) than I was 3 years ago, I can tell you that! Juggling naps, changing diapers, limited activities. It's just the way it was.
Like yours, but add in sports and dance. I try as much as I can to get the house stuff done in the week, but that doesn't always happen. Work full time, volunteer, plus house and sports, we've pretty much booked up weekends. But I did sleep in Saturday, because my parents took T to her tournament. I'm very thankful, because dh was working, and I would have been driving home in a severe snowstorm with 5 kids.
Ha, we never get everything done, we've given up all hope.
Here's a 'normal' weekend for us:
Friday night - Hang out at home, rest and relax, maybe get one or two easy chores done in the evening after LO goes to sleep.
Saturday morning - LO wakes up at 8:ish. I feed her (she still does a morning bottle) while hubby gets another half hour sleep or so, then hubby wakes up and takes her downstairs. I sleep until about noon. Wake up, take a shower, and then go and spell hubby so that he can take a shower.
Saturday afternoon/evening - get any shopping done that needs doing, possibly out to lunch/early dinner either just the three of us or to meet friends. Occasionally we will get a babysitter on Saturday night.
Sunday morning - LO wakes up at 8:ish, DH feeds her while I get another half hour or so of sleep, then I take her downstairs and hubby sleeps in until about noon. We do the shower thing, and then either Get Something Done or if the weather is nice, get out of the house. Sunday evenings, we go over to a friends house for dinner and a movie, though if LO is at all fussy, we just do the dinner portion and then head home. Baby to sleep, we do all of the last minute end of weekend things (trash goes out, lunches get made, last bit of laundry folded, etc).
All of this will have the addition of going outside and getting in walks, picnics, etc when the weather is nicer.
I'm a SAHM, but even our weekends seem too busy with not enough time for everything you want to do.
The only thing I'd add to the mix is to try to avoid laundry on the weekends... it's just such a time-sucker. I tend to start a wash first thing when I wake up in the mornings.. before I'm really moving... so as I'm getting ready for the day it will wash. Then throw it in the dryer as I'm showering. Same idea for evenings... start a load as you begin the baby's nighttime routine and it'll be ready for the dryer by the time you're all done with books/bath/bedtime stuff.
Just seems to speed the task considerably and you won't face an ungodly mountain of it when Saturday rolls around.
This is so good to know! I love my son so much but juggling everything has been difficult and of course there is always Mommy guilt. DH and I were just talking this morning about summer. DS will be able to play in the yard while we garden, or one of us does housework, and overall he will be even better at entertaining himself. The older he gets the easier it has been getting for us to manage.
BridesBuddies...I am so OCD about laundry but it is time to consider a change. By Sunday I have 5+ perfectly sorted full loads but it takes all day to do it. Sundays are also the time we usually clean the house so between laundry and cleaning we are lucky if we get showers by 5 PM and of course we don't leave the house all day. I probably need to live more on the wilder side and try doing laundry during the week even if the loads are not perfect. It would make a big difference.
I know what you mean - we are sometimes in that same rut. To answer your question, now that DS is older, our weekends tend to be consumed with sports, birthday parties, etc. I now have a more flexible schedule and don't work quite FT, so I try to get things done during the week as much as I can. But when we were both working FT some of the things I would do to make sure we had family fun time on the weekends were:
(1) hire out housecleaning
(2) get laundry done during the week
(3) get up early either Sat or Sun morning and go grocery shopping as soon as the store opened. I actually preferred this because the stores were not packed, I did not drag DS with me so I could get through the store much faster, and I got some alone time.
(4) just let things go when I really don't have time to deal with them.
I have been kicking this around in my head for 17 mos now. I just posted on my BMB board inquiring if anyone there had housekeepers and asked a few questions. However, if you don't mind me asking...
1.) How did you find a housekeeper?
2.) What is the range they charge per hour?
3.) Do you have them do all of the cleaning when they come (bathrooms, floors, dusting, etc.)?
4.) What do you look for when choosing a housekeeper?
5.) What else do I need to know?
1. How did you find a housekeeper? To be honest, we have gone through a few in 7 years...I have gotten all of them through word of mouth. I started with a self-employed woman, who was really sweet and very reasonable, but she seemed to putter more than actually clean, and she ruined a new piece of furniture so we stopped using her. Now we use only companies that are bonded and insured, they tend to send 2-3 people to clean, and they are a little more but do a better job IMO.
2. Range per hour - I think everyone has just charged me per clean, not per hour. I could not tell you how long they are there since I am usually not home when they come. The cheapest was $95/clean, the most was $115/clean. Right now I pay $105/clean. They come every two weeks. Oh, a lot of companies will charge you more for the first cleaning and they do a thorough deep clean.
3. yes, they do everything. We make sure the house is picked up the night before so all they have to focus on is cleaning. The first woman I had also did my laundry and watered the plants, but I never really liked that anyway so I did not look for that again when replacing her.
4. What do you look for? Like I said above, bonded and insured is important to me now. Reliability is important - I had one company that would cancel on me the day of, or sometimes just not even call or show up, so I would think I was coming home to a clean house and then surprise! no one showed up to clean that day. That drove me nuts. I also have a dog who is loose in the house when they come so they have to be willing to deal with him being out. I also like to have the same people clenaing each time, even when it is a company that has multiple employees. I can always tell when someone else has been doing the cleaning. And I always go through word of mouth - I have never just gotten someone out of the yellow pages or off of a flyer in my mailbox.
5. What else do I need to know? Don't be afraid to speak up (nicely of course) if there is something they are missing that is important to you, or something they just are not doing the way you want. The women who clean my house clean at least one other house in the same day, so sometimes they miss something. If it is important to me, and it happens more than once, I say something and then they don't miss it again. Also, it is customary for them to get a tip at the holidays - I usually do the cost of one cleaning split between the number of cleaners, so factor that into the budget. Don't be afraid to ask for a break off the price when you get the quote - a lot of times they will knock some money off if you just ask. If you can't find someone through word of mouth, I would definitely interview at least two companies and check references.
GL! It is definitely money well spent.
We have a nanny so she does all of DS' laundry. She'll also fold our laundry if it's in the dryer and empty out the dishwasher. Our cleaning woman comes every 2 weeks. Couldn't live without her! As you can see, I'm big on outsourcing!
DH does the grocery shopping Sunday nights after DS is in bed. Less crowded and he's in and out.
I really try to do a lot of errands/chores during the week. This frees up a lot of our time on the weekends for fun stuff.
Since the school week is so full of things (school, work, church), I make sure that I get at least a 2 hour nap each Saturday and Sunday.
DH helps with the grocery shopping and cooking. If it's my Saturday to sleep in, I make sure that I sleep in and leisurly enjoy the morning in my home (drink tea, surf the internet, chat on the phone). If it's not my turn to sleep in, I generally get up around 7 am and do the usual breakfast and then TV routine with DS. Two Saturday afternoons out of the month is a lunch date with DH.
I spot clean during the week (sweeping, scrubbing, cleaning, dishes (DH helps with dishes). I spread out the grocery shopping (DH does 1/2 and I do the other 1/2) laundry, and vacuuming over Saturday and Sunday.
Church is on Sunday and then I'll get any remaining small grocery items after that. I do make sure that I take DS somewhere fun on Saturday and the week day that I'm off (off one weekday every other week). Sunday afternoon it's all about changing sheets and picking out clothes for the week for DS and myself.
I noticed that the weekends are more fun when DH, DS, and I do a family night on Friday night and I get to do something for myself like go to a friend's baby shower or my WM Mom's group (once every other month).
I think the trick is to not try to do EVERYTHING. Don't kill yourself.
We don't clean at all. We're super tidy in the first place, but have a cleaning service take care of deep cleaning. We do laundry every single night (small loads), so it doesn't build up.
My weekends are basically free. DH and I get up early, have coffee, read the news, etc. DD gets up around 7:30. We do breakfast together, then go for a walk outside, have some play time or go to the grocery store. Then DD naps for 2-3 hours. In the afternoon we may go to the park or downtown to walk around.
We usually go out for dinner as a family one weekend night per week. I work out when DD is napping or just leave her with DH and go for a run. DH and I have date nights almost every week as well.
We really have good weekends!
I am a working mom and weekends end up being either very lazy or very busy--depending on what needs to be done. For example, last Saturday morning we ran an errand in the AM, then I got a manicure (rare!) and we drove to see my inlaws. Sunday we did basically nothing--except I did many loads of laundry.
This weekend I have a dentist appt. on Saturday morning but otherwise we're free. No clue what we'll do. Same for Sunday.
We do hire someone to clean. But I share a home with my parents and need the help. It's worth the $ to me. We just try to spend time with DS and do fun things. When it's warmer, we'll go to the Bronx Zoo a lot since we're members.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
DH and I both work full time. We usually eat out on Friday nights with him. Saturdays, we run errands, watch sports on TV, Farmer's Market, go to the park, etc. Some cleaning, but I try to do a little throughout the week. Sundays are church and grocery shopping, and a little laundry and prep for the week.
DS is 21 mo. and is a little social butterfly. We are very lucky that he is an on the go boy. He will wake up saying "Bye Bye Go!" He loves the mall, grocery store, restaurants, etc. Anywhere where he can get attention, see people, and be somewhere different. He is easier out and about than he is at home.
This sounds like my DS which is why I hate being cooped up most of the weekend cleaning and doing laundry. Last year DH and I had a conference to attend in San Francisco so of course we brought DS along. When we were in the hotel room he was a crabby mess and at one time I was so overwhelmed with his crying and fussiness that I was crying too. However, as soon as we stepped out of the room into the hall he was as happy as a clam! I decided that I just needed to take him out and about when he got crabby from then on!