Which would you prefer? — The Bump
February 2012 Moms

Which would you prefer?

Would you prefer for someone to judge you silently?   Or for someone to actually say something to you about your parenting "style"? 

I think I'd rather be judge siliently.  Only because as much as I always have a smart comeback for people.  It's usually not a very nice comeback and since my child is in my presence I choose not to have him see me in the light. 

I swear my kid makes me soft, I don't even give people the bird anymore in the car just cause I'm Timmy's Mom and I need to make him proud!

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Re: Which would you prefer?

  • Judged silently.
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  • Silent...silenty forsure.

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  • I think it really depends on who the judger is. I'm fine being judged silently by a waiter, sales clerk, or mom on the playground but if a family member or DCP or someone close to me is judging I'd like to know.
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  • I think it depends on the issue that they are judging. In most of my parenting choices I'm pretty confident, so if it's a matter of just having different styles I'm fine with defending myself or letting their comments roll off me. I'm also okay with not defending myself if I don't feel like I need to. I don't need to justify how I raise my kids to anyone except my husband, and I feel like he and I are on the same page.

    If it's a safety issue, where someone sees something I am doing that could be dangerous or something, I want to  know. I would hate to be unknowingly putting my kids at risk or something and have someone too afraid to look like they were judging me by bringing it to my attention. I prefer a call out/wake up call in a situation like this.

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  • imagesunnyday016:

    If it's a safety issue, where someone sees something I am doing that could be dangerous or something, I want to  know. I would hate to be unknowingly putting my kids at risk or something and have someone too afraid to look like they were judging me by bringing it to my attention. I prefer a call out/wake up call in a situation like this.

    Yeah I would agree with you.  One time I saw this Mama with her baby facing forward infront in an Ergo.  And like other carriers the Ergo isn't built for that.  It took me a good 20 minutes to build up the courage (she was sitting with the baby most of the time) and to figure out how to say it with out being judgy. 

    I think I said "I don't mean to judge or be critical cause I'm a new Mom too" about ten thousand times before I got my point across.  She felt really silly and thanked me.  But sometimes people get defensive I know I have and then later realized they were probably right (not about my child fortunately but other things). 

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