Two Under 2

potty train before or after...

DS will be 20 months when this LO shows up...and EVERYONE (especially my mother) keeps pushing me to potty train him before LO is born  but a good friend told me her DD was potty trained pre new baby then when the new baby came regressed alot and started wetting her pants/bed ect.

SO should I even try it or wait till after the dust settles from LO being born and introduced to the family

Married the love of my life in 2011

DS born in 2012

DS2 born in 2013

Lil surprise due October 18th!

Re: potty train before or after...

  • I would wait. 20 months is on the early side for potty training, and the combined with a new sibling just seems like a recipe for making it way to stressful and drawn out. DD1 was 19 months when DD2 was born and started showing an interest in the potty at 18 months, just weeks before I was due. We chose to hold off on training, just encouraged her interest, until she was 26 months and I felt I had things more under control with two kids and had the time and patience to give DD1 for potty training. I feel like that worked out better for us than trying to rush her into being potty trained before she was ready just for the sake of not having two in diapers.
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  • My kids weren't ready until 2 and we did the 3 day PT method by Lori Jensen... Maybe I'm being selfish, but I found changing 2 sets of diapers easier, than trying to PT an 18 month old for months who isn't ready, and then deal with a newborn and running a 20 month old to the potty every 5 min.
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  • You could do a slow introduction to the potty since 20 months is still pretty young. 

    DD1 was 23 months when DD2 was born and I wanted to give a stab at potty training before just in case she was ready.  We had the potty out since she was 17 months and while she peed occassionally on it, it was more of a getting used to it thing rather than full on potty training. 

    Well, we tried at 22 months and she wasn't ready so we waited until the baby was two months old (and DD1 was 25 months).  I figured that was enough time for DD1 to adjust to having a new sibling and and while I thought it would be so impossible to PT with a newborn in the house it was really simple.  We used Skittles as a reward (which I swore I would never do...) but it worked like a charm.  DD1 was PT'd in two days and has had like five accidents in three months. 


  • After. I didn't want to make any major changes in DD1's life before DD2 was born because I knew everything was going to change after the arrival of the baby. She's just now showing interest in potty training, so I'm glad I waited.
  • imageMammaBear81:
    My kids weren't ready until 2 and we did the 3 day PT method by Lori Jensen... Maybe I'm being selfish, but I found changing 2 sets of diapers easier, than trying to PT an 18 month old for months who isn't ready, and then deal with a newborn and running a 20 month old to the potty every 5 min.

    exactly!  My girls are 18 months a part.  She started showing interest around 21 months but wasn't ready to train (we tried but stopped when she flipped out due to an accident.) I did the 3 day training with her at 2 and never looked back.

    2 in diapers really isn't that bad. 

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  • 20 months, especially for a boy, is young to PT without adding a new baby to the mix.  I would wait until he is 2.
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  • imagejf198400:
    20 months, especially for a boy, is young to PT without adding a new baby to the mix.  I would wait until he is 2.

    This!!  My DS had just turned 3 when we did it - and it was so easy.  He had about 3 accidents one day, then never looked back.  He had maybe 2 more accidents the next 2 weeks, and has been fine since.  DD just potty trained a month ago - and again it was so easy.  She actually asked for her undies, put herself on toilet (no baby potty for her!), and went.  She pretty much potty trained herself because she was ready and wanted to be like her brother.  And, I can say that having 2 in diapers might be easier than a newly potty trained child - every time you go anywhere in the car, someone has to go to the bathroom, and it is nasty bringing a new baby into a public restroom (although my DD2 has now been in her fair share of them!)

    Good luck! 

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  • Two in diapers seems WAY more manageable than a newborn and a toddler with constant accidents & messes to clean up.  But that's just me.  We bought a potty for DD (who will also be 20 mo's when LO2 is born) and just set it up last week so that she sees it & gets used to it, but I don't plan to potty train until this summer (if she's ready).  I'm just talking up the potty and how exciting it is that she has her own, but won't be pushing anything right now.  If she surprises us and makes a go of it on her own, then great.  But I'm certainly not expecting or pushing her for that right now. 

    We also will be moving right after the baby is born, and transitioning DD out of her crib - so she's got enough change going on in her life the next 2 months.

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  • IMO potty training is like cribs and a zillion other little things on this board.

    I refused to push my DD to do anything faster because we were having another child.  To me, that is just a bad approach and unfair.  She stayed in her crib, we didn't push to PT her quickly to avoid two in diapers, etc.

    If your child is showing signs that that they are ready (asking to use the potty, holding their pee for long periods of time, asking to have their diaper changed when wet/dirty, hiding when they poop, etc), then by all means, give it a shot.  But pushing something on a 20 month old because you don't want two in diapers is the wrong approach.

    Diapers are honestly quite a bit easier than a newly PTed toddler that needs help with their pants and is running to the potty every 10 minutes.  I actually PTed my DD later than necessary (2 and a half) because I had DS and DH was deployed.  I was just lazy and didn't want to put in the effort.

    I just PTed my son (who is 2 years and 3 months) in a few days.  He was ready and showing tons of signs.  If I had tried 7 months ago it would have been incredibly frustrating.  PTing should be a positive experience and never punitive or pushy.

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  • DS will be almost 2 when LO arrives. His pediatrician advised us strongly not to make any big changes right before LO comes. Specifically, she said not to try the big boy bed, and not to try potty training. She said that he would almost certainly regress if we tried to PT. It's already going to be a huge adjustment adapting to a new sibling. Besides, he hasn't shown any "ready" signs yet, so until he does we won't push him at all. I want LO's arrival to be as stressfree as I can make it for DS!
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  • I would definitely wait! You don't want to even think about dealing with the mess of potty training when the new baby comes! And it's very early anyway!

    I'm expecting our 3rd under 3 in September and thinking about starting the potty training with our oldest now 28 months over summer break from daycare.

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  • I'm an early potty trainer (both of mine out of day time diapers at 20 months).

    At 15 months my oldest came to me, told me "poop" and then pooped in front of me.  I had NO clue what to do with that information but I knew one thing - potty training him with a baby due in 2 months wasn't something I was interested in.

    My game plan was to read up on early potty training and then wait until the baby was STTN.

    I'll be frank - while it's TOTALLY do-able at younger ages it really is more parent training than kid training.  It involves a lot of work, putting them on the potty on a schedule, etc.  I know myself and knew I wouldn't have the patience for it at the end of pregnancy or with the sleep deprivation of a new born.

    But... once the baby STTN I went for it.  Even put the baby on the potty after reading about elimination communication.  Hey.... we were all about the potty for a while so why not go for it with the baby too!

    My vote:  Wait until the baby STTN. 

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