My mother, the only person who knows we're TTC, has given me all the "it'll happen when it's time" responses and I just let thouse roll off, however she has had two gems that stick out.
1) (while talking about a friend who went through IVF and had just gavin birth to twins) "see, I don't know if I would go that far. At some point someone is telling you it just wasn't meant to be."
2) "Well, you remember the Hendersons, from church? They tried for years to have a baby, even had fertility treatments. They finally decided to adopt and got pregnant on their own two months later!"
So, yeah, wishing I had just lied about having the flu when she busted me with a BBT by my bed while I was visiting for the holidays...
My favorite one was just last week. I have a friend who likes to talk about "mommy" stuff with me all the time. She announced her pregnancy right when we started trying (and she knew we had started TTC).
Me: "I don't think I can talk about this ("mommy") stuff anymore. DH and I just started infertility testing, and it's just too painful"
Her: "ohh, I didn't know. So baby didn't sleep last night, and I'm super tired now. Do you think I should hire a sleeping coach? What would you do I this was your baby? BTW, do you want to babysit for me next week? You're so good with kids, I can't wait for you to be a mom so we can hang out again." (paraphrased, but all of those points came on in one order or another *directly* after me telling her about our IF)
Me:...
I haven't talked to her since then. I've told very few people IRL about trying, and this one is making me regret saying anything.
I have a friend who is also TTC and knows that we are. They are older than we are and he likes to text me when he's worried with all kind of fun statistics on infertility, issues with age, miscarriages, etc. I finally had to tell him that I can't be supportive for him right now if he's going to keep telling me all the possible issues and negatives we might face.
I've also heard the "just relax and it will happen".
"How are you going to explain to your kids that they reason they have something like Down's is because you waited till your 30's to have children?"We are not friends anymore.
0_o
What a cuntbag.
This! That is so fucked up.
Chancie- Sorry someone was such a asshat to you, too.
DD is severely disabled and a friends wife asked me "Well what if your next baby ends up like that?" while pointing at DD. This was about a year ago and it still sticks with me. My response? "I will love him/her". This lady has made multiple insensitive comments since and is no longer a part of my life.
Wow, that's awful. Why do people thing it's ok to say things like that?!
That's soooo terrible. A child should not be labeled by a disability they have. They're still a loving, wonderful child! I'm so sorry someone said that to you.
I've gotten a lot of it'll happen, when it's supposed to happen. I'm kinda over that one.
One of my closest friends said something along the lines of "I think you need to gain weight. That might be why you're not pregnant yet." And everytime I see her, she asks me something about my weight. Mind you, she's health obsessive, works out a ton, and watches everything she eats. I'm thin, but I'm healthy thank you very much!
Kinley Diane Born 2/4/14 Weighing 6 lbs 10 oz and 20 inches long
We only told 3 people we are TTC. One of them is a friend who have 2 kids and I thought I should have someone that have gone through it to talk to and ask questions (should have come to TB earlier). We work for the same company, but different offices. I applied for a position in her office, it would be a demotion without pay cut and it is a job I have done before, but it is closer to home and less stress so I was very excited. She told the hiring manager that I was already pregnant, so her other friend who also applied would get the job. I did not even get an interview, and her friend did get the job, even though she is very underqualified. So much for equal employment opportunity.
I really hate when people say "you don't want kids"
Don't tell me what I want. And one person who said that to me has a 5 year old daughter. And she is the only person who I know that has kids and still says "trust me you don't want one".
A & J
me: 23, SO: 26
together since september.18.2009
loving our lives with all our furbabies : dogs, cats, horsies, fishies, snakey
We didn't tell DH's aunt and uncle that we were trying.
DH's aunt asked me (in a weird way, I couldn't figure out what she was asking at first) if I was pregnant. I told her, "No, just fat". She proceeded to pat my fat belleh and say, "Oh, just fat. Happy fat. It's just fat." Thing was, I had just lost about 10 lbs. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
After that, she then told DH, "Maybe you're doing it wrong. You should ask your uncle about what to do. He knows about that." We still never said that we were even TTC! Urgh. DH and I just looked at each other like, "WTF do you say to that?"
I hadn't been so embarrassed and hurt by family like that before. DH felt horrible for me because he knew I was proud of the weight that I had lost. I felt horrible for DH because he knows WTF he's doing, that was so wrong of his aunt. Who says that?!?!!
I had two more people ask me if I was pregnant over the next two weeks. Needless to say, that killed my motivation. I haven't had to motivation
to try to be healthy since. At that time, I was working out 5 days a
week and eating very very well. Now? I can't tell you the last time I
worked out. I've gained all of the weight back. I still try to make healthy choices when it comes to food, but I'm not as good as I should and could be.
People suck. I hate TTC. I wish I was 20lbs. lighter.
I'm sorry she said that to you.
I really want to know what goes through someone's mind to make them think that asking if someone is pregnant is appropriate. I've been asked if I was pregnant 3 times in the last few years. I will admit that I have gained 15-20 lbs, but I by no stretch of the imagination look pregnant. Overall I am happy with my body, but it still hurts a little when someone says that to me.
DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA
October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos
November 2014: IVF w/ICSI #4 Agonist/Antagonist with EPP and Prednisone, Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, and IVIG for immune issues. Converted to freeze all due to lining issues. 2 blasts frozen on day 6!
January 2015: FET #2 Cancelled due to lining issues
((hugs)) - People disgust me. Whether it was meant to come from a good place or not, it shouldn't be THAT hard to think before you speak.
ColeRose:
"How are you going to explain to your kids that they reason they have something like Down's is because you waited till your 30's to have children?"
We are not friends anymore
This makes me punchy. What a douche! I'm sorry, Cole.
TTC#2 Since July 2011
Me: 29, had two blocked tubes - left was cleared during lap, right was unable to be cleared. PCOS & Stage 2 Endo. DH: 32, SA = perfect CLOMID: 4 rounds, 50mg + TI = BFN's. FEMARA: 1 round = no response 12-24-2012 : Laparoscopy, Softball sized cyst/endo/scar tissue removed. Cycle #14 - Feb 2013 : 50mg clomid. Ovidrel Trigger. IUI on 2/14/13 = thin lining, multiple cysts.
Cycle #15 - no meds, still have cysts, no follicles. Boo!
Forced break. Continuous BCP for 6 weeks to give my jacked up ovaries a break. Cycle #16 actively trying (May/June): Femara, TI = BFN Cycle #17- #20 - Med/Treatment break, trying on our own = BFN's all around. Cycle #21 - Femara, MORE Femara, Ovidrel and a Christmas IUI = BFN
MY BLOG -- About DD, TTC and everything in between!
Re: Things stupid people say...
My mother, the only person who knows we're TTC, has given me all the "it'll happen when it's time" responses and I just let thouse roll off, however she has had two gems that stick out.
1) (while talking about a friend who went through IVF and had just gavin birth to twins) "see, I don't know if I would go that far. At some point someone is telling you it just wasn't meant to be."
2) "Well, you remember the Hendersons, from church? They tried for years to have a baby, even had fertility treatments. They finally decided to adopt and got pregnant on their own two months later!"
So, yeah, wishing I had just lied about having the flu when she busted me with a BBT by my bed while I was visiting for the holidays...
Wtf? Really?
Wow, some of these are really bad!
My favorite one was just last week. I have a friend who likes to talk about "mommy" stuff with me all the time. She announced her pregnancy right when we started trying (and she knew we had started TTC).
Me: "I don't think I can talk about this ("mommy") stuff anymore. DH and I just started infertility testing, and it's just too painful"
Her: "ohh, I didn't know. So baby didn't sleep last night, and I'm super tired now. Do you think I should hire a sleeping coach? What would you do I this was your baby? BTW, do you want to babysit for me next week? You're so good with kids, I can't wait for you to be a mom so we can hang out again." (paraphrased, but all of those points came on in one order or another *directly* after me telling her about our IF)
Me:...
I haven't talked to her since then. I've told very few people IRL about trying, and this one is making me regret saying anything.
ETA: got on my computer - formatting
That's what my mom tells me all the time! I always tell her that the only way I'm not "trying" is if we are preventing!
I have a friend who is also TTC and knows that we are. They are older than we are and he likes to text me when he's worried with all kind of fun statistics on infertility, issues with age, miscarriages, etc. I finally had to tell him that I can't be supportive for him right now if he's going to keep telling me all the possible issues and negatives we might face.
I've also heard the "just relax and it will happen".
My Ovulation Chart
I was told last week that I was getting to "sciencey" with it. I should just do it with DH morning, noon, and night. That's what they did.
This was after a wife of a friend overheard my best friend and me. I wanted to throat punch her.
This! That is so fucked up.
Chancie- Sorry someone was such a asshat to you, too.
That's soooo terrible. A child should not be labeled by a disability they have. They're still a loving, wonderful child! I'm so sorry someone said that to you.
I've gotten a lot of it'll happen, when it's supposed to happen. I'm kinda over that one.
One of my closest friends said something along the lines of "I think you need to gain weight. That might be why you're not pregnant yet." And everytime I see her, she asks me something about my weight. Mind you, she's health obsessive, works out a ton, and watches everything she eats. I'm thin, but I'm healthy thank you very much!
Born 2/4/14
Weighing 6 lbs 10 oz and 20 inches long
We only told 3 people we are TTC. One of them is a friend who have 2 kids and I thought I should have someone that have gone through it to talk to and ask questions (should have come to TB earlier). We work for the same company, but different offices. I applied for a position in her office, it would be a demotion without pay cut and it is a job I have done before, but it is closer to home and less stress so I was very excited. She told the hiring manager that I was already pregnant, so her other friend who also applied would get the job. I did not even get an interview, and her friend did get the job, even though she is very underqualified. So much for equal employment opportunity.
I would have turned my ring around and asked her what the five fingers said to the face.
BFP #1 June 2009 - Evangeline born 3/5/2010
BFP #2 August 2012 - Partial Molar Pregnancy, D&C September 2012
BFP #3 January 2013 - Chemical Pregnancy
BFP #4 April 2013 - EDD 12/15/13
Baby Charlie born 12/7/13!
Don't tell me what I want. And one person who said that to me has a 5 year old daughter. And she is the only person who I know that has kids and still says "trust me you don't want one".
A & J
me: 23, SO: 26
together since september.18.2009
loving our lives with all our furbabies : dogs, cats, horsies, fishies, snakey
TTC #1 since december 2012
I'm sorry she said that to you.
I really want to know what goes through someone's mind to make them think that asking if someone is pregnant is appropriate. I've been asked if I was pregnant 3 times in the last few years. I will admit that I have gained 15-20 lbs, but I by no stretch of the imagination look pregnant. Overall I am happy with my body, but it still hurts a little when someone says that to me.
TTC #1 since August 2011
My Blog
September 2012: Start IF testing
DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA
October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos
November 2014: IVF w/ICSI #4 Agonist/Antagonist with EPP and Prednisone, Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, and IVIG for immune issues. Converted to freeze all due to lining issues. 2 blasts frozen on day 6!
January 2015: FET #2 Cancelled due to lining issues
April 2015: FET #2.1
PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
((hugs)) - People disgust me. Whether it was meant to come from a good place or not, it shouldn't be THAT hard to think before you speak.
This makes me punchy. What a douche!
I'm sorry, Cole.
CLOMID: 4 rounds, 50mg + TI = BFN's. FEMARA: 1 round = no response
12-24-2012 : Laparoscopy, Softball sized cyst/endo/scar tissue removed.
Cycle #14 - Feb 2013 : 50mg clomid. Ovidrel Trigger. IUI on 2/14/13 = thin lining, multiple cysts.
Cycle #16 actively trying (May/June): Femara, TI = BFN
Cycle #17- #20 - Med/Treatment break, trying on our own = BFN's all around.
Cycle #21 - Femara, MORE Femara, Ovidrel and a Christmas IUI = BFN