Vent - My BFF is a selfish witch!

mrobertson20

My BFF has now let her loser boyfriend move in with her.  He got mad a few months ago and punched her fridge leaving knuckle prints when she tried to break up with him.  He has 2 kids he can't support and brings home $600/month.  He has no car and so she has to take him to and from work.  She has her 3 yr old daughter every other week and she lets her sleep in the bed with the two of them which I think its awful.  Her ex hubby made it clear that he would take her back to court for full custody if she kept seeing this guy.  So what does she do?  She lets him move in!  OMG I could kill her.  She says her daughter is the most important thing in the world but she is obviously not acting like it.  I have always been there for her and listened to everything but seriously, this is the worst decision she has ever made.  Her ex husband wasn't the worlds best husband and father but he was 10x the guy that her bf is. 

 So now we don't even get to see each other!  Why?  Because back in February right after I found out I was pregnant and me and DH found out she was seeing this guy, we discovered DH went to high school with him.  The next thing we know, he threatens my husband telling him he will make sure nothing leaves his mouth again if DH tells my BFF anything about back when he was in school 10 yrs ago.  Seriously, its 10 years ago.  Get over yourself!  So yeah, we don't get to see her because we don't want to be around the a-hole and we don't want him around DS either. 

 Guess I am out a BFF.  Would I be horrible for cutting all strings with her when I know I am the only friend she has left??  I can't just be here when she needs me to bail her out anymore... I have my own family to be concerned with not just her.

Sherriberry

If it were me - I would lose her FAST!  It's not worth your safety.

You have done all you can.  People like that just don't listen and it doesn't matter what you tell them. She has to learn for herself. She's an adult.

Future Mrs Heath

Wow she lets her daughter sleep in bed w/ her and her boy friend.Thats terrible.  Good example

mrobertson20

The sad part is, if her ex hubby asked me I would say to get her daughter away from her.  I know she loves her but she isn't being a good mother at all.  I have basically been a big sister to her since high school and I just can't do it anymore.  She did this to herself I guess.

Skipperg82

Sometimes you just have to cut people out of your life, tough as it is. ?I lost my BFF (we were like SISTERS) earlier this year because I realized I was holding on to the relationship for what it used to be, not for what it was currently.

The best thing you could do is try to be there for her in every way possible, if you feel like you've exhausted yourself doing this and your family is suffering because of it, then it's best to let it go...it sounds horrible but sometimes it's a huge relief to rid someone from your life that was draining you....

sorry that got a little heavy, but I know what it feels like...?

CAchica

"Emotional Sponges" that what I call people like your BFF and yes you should cut the strings. It sucks and you'll feel bad about it but you have a child now. Don't waste energy on someone who just uses it up and doesn't give it back to you.

 

- Paid for by Mothers Against Ridiculous Drama

MattsWifey<3

sorry to tell your friend - but she should lose custody of her daughter. a little girl should not be sleeping in the same bed as a grown man like that. absolutely not.

um - you mention she only has her daughter EOW which make me wonder what she did to not have primary custody to begin with.

i would back away from their situation. sounds dramatic, complicated and unhealthy. if it were my bff i would possibly speak with her parent and maybe exh as a kind of intervention and then walk away.

sounds like she needs help - fast!

mrobertson20

Thanks you guys.  I needed someone to tell me I wasn't crazy because I don't trust DH to tell me.  He refuses to have anything to do with her right now.