When is it safe to let children bedshare unsupervised?

KateLouise

Currently DD2 sleeps on one side of me, and at some point int he night DD1 will come and get into bed, and sleep on the other side of me.

Often I get up before them and one or both of them might sleep an extra 15 minutes or so in the morning. I feel pretty confident that DD2 is safe as they're on the far side of the bed from each other and entering into a waking stage of sleep. Plus I'm in and out of the room checking on them as I get ready for the day.

I have been wondering, however, if this is safe. and also at what age would you let them sleep unsupervised at night (if it became an option/necessary) 

My girls are two years apart, so what do you think is the appropriate age? 4 and 2 years? 5 and 3 years? Something else?

Thanks 

 

pepomntpat

mrscjmb9410:

I don't have any experience, but I think I would feel comfortable with DS and (hypothetical) 2nd child sharing a bed (if they wanted to) from the time that the younger child was ~18mo-2years. 

So in your example, 4 and 2 years.

I think it would also depend on the kind of relationship the kids have whilst awake (ie: is the younger child able to hold their own/defend herself against the older?) and also the type of sleepers they are (are they wild sleepers, kicking and rolling and wiggling around? or are they generally pretty still/calm while sleeping?).

I tend to agree with this. It would have more to do with the temperament and relationship than the age, beyond the obvious safety issues of the infant stage. I think you will know when it is safe when you feel comfortable with it...like the first time you let LO walk down the stairs unassisted.  

nosoup4u

I think 12-18 months for the little one. Especially if you have kid-size blankets, nothing really huge or heavy in bed with them.

ncbelle

Mine slept together a bit at the ages yours are now.

pixieprincss

We are weighing that now. DS1 (2) desperately wants to cuddle with and comfort his brother (6 mo) at sleepy time. The other day, I let them be in the same room but on different surfaces (and I stayed in the room until both were asleep). DS1 was cuddled up with DS2 before I could even get in the room when he woke and started to cry. To this point, I've restricted it, but we are getting closer to it feeling ok. I'm thinking when DS2 is crawling and 9-12 months old, we might try it for naps. Nightime sleep--when I am also sleeping--is another matter. I don't know about that one yet.

kcisthebombdotcom

My kids recently started bedsharing together overnight by choice. I am fine with them unsupervised all night. They have taken naps together since my DD was around 9 months old, but that was more monitored.

When my DD was 1 I wouldnt have let them bedshare alone at night. My DD is really petite in both weight/height and my son is really tall for his age so there's a fairly dramatic size difference (8 inches) even though they're only 12 months apart. If she was a little bigger I might have felt differently. I think it's fine in the morning while you're getting ready/checking in though regardless.

JPafford86

We had the girls start sharing a GIANT bed (queen and a twin pushed together... it takes up from wall to wall) when DD2 night weaned so 14 months. She is almost the same size as DD1 and is often the one starting crap between them. Because the bed is so big they have plenty of space from one another.