When did your child realize their limitations?

JoJoGee · February 2013

Lily and I were playing today. She was enjoying mimicking me so I thought I'd sneak in some therapy. We were sitting up, so I leaned to my side and asked Lily is she could do it. She got this really distressed and upset look on her face and put her hands to her forehead. I swear, if Lily could talk, she would have been telling me, "I want to do it Mommy, but I just can't!"

It was the first time Lily has ever been frustrated by the limitations of her body. And, it absolutely broke my heart.

But, I realize, I might be reading too much into this. I mean, who knows what Lily was really thinking or feeling. So, I just wanted to know, is Lily too young to know her limitations? And, when did your child realize they could not do certain things?

JoJoGee · February 2013

How heartbreaking Auntie. How did you react?

I realize this won't be the last time Lily gets frustrated by her limitations and I'd like to model resilience... As opposed to crying like a baby, like I did today.

ToastieSimons · February 2013

DS1 wants to walk so badly. He knee walks everywhere. I can't tell you the number of times he pulls up on me when I'm sitting down and lets go with every intention of walking and then realizes (as he's falling) that he can't even take a step. Every time, he just looks up at me with this face of "I don't understand why I can't do this" and it kills me, every time.

Also, I think he understands that he cannot verbalize what he wants. He makes lots of sounds and does lots of things that we read into as gestures, etc. But I find him getting frustrated by it a bit now. I find that he's very loud etc when he wants something and if I just ignore it or play into it eventually it turns into a tantrum. I find that if I give him food or a drink before it gets to tantrum level that he calms down and never tantrums. So I'm guessing this is his way of communicating that he's hungry/thirsty? He doesn't sign, point, gesture, verbalize etc. It's so hard to know that he is probably feeling a million things, hot, cold, tired, hungry, annoyed, frustrated, happy, and he just can't tell me.

malcivar · February 2013

It happened a long time ago and hasn't happened since.

He was maybe 20 months old and he had already been at that point where everyone was saying "oh he's right there, he'll talk any day now" ... only they'd been saying it for months. We were already having our first round of EI evals. He was standing by the gate to the kitchen and he wanted something. I forget what it was but he was upset and it looked like he was trying to vocalize something and couldn't. Then all of a sudden, he just started hitting his face, specifically, his mouth - and you could tell he was angry - and then he sat down and started crying. Big tears super sad face crying. Both of us.

I haven't seen anything like that since.

MaxandRuby · February 2013

Hmmm, this is a good question and one I haven't really thought about. I guess I would say about now and he'll be 3.5 in a few months. But I would say that he seems most frustrated when playing with the Leap Pad or Wii. Since he can't really do two hand play he gets really frustrated at the games where it requires 2 hands and he just can't figure out what he needs to do. He asks (ok, whines) for help but I know it irritates him. As for the physical stuff like walking, jumping, etc. I'm not sure he has actually figured it out yet. He doesn't really attempt steps without support (walker, hand hold assist, cruising, etc) and if he needs help he asks for it but he doesn't get frustrated at this like he does manipulating those games. If he doesn't get help he'll simply crawl and I don't think he thinks much of it. I'm curious when it will "hit" him.

kar5162 · February 2013

I think she's definitely old enough to realize some of her limitations. I know DS was starting to realize he wasn't the same at that age. He is nearly 3.5 now and very verbal, but still doesn't vocalize it very much even though he will ask for help needed. He is clearly getting more frustrated and angry lately since his younger sister (nearly 1.5) is very mobile. Of course, even typical toddlers get frustrated by their limits, whether it's motor skills, speech or just size.

Mostly I try to acknowledge his frustration without trying to over read his feelings...I don't want to make him feel different where he doesn't and want him to know that it's ok that he has CP without making him feel disabled or like he CAN'T do things. If he gets frustrated like Lily did, I try to say things like ooh, that can be tricky, let's try it together and make it a game, being silly. If I help him, I can also see where the activity gets difficult or help assist just enough to show him how to do it and sometimes he can actually end up doing it himself.