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LeslieH07
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Relationship Falling To The Waste Side
LeslieH07
member
Hello Ladies,
I just needed some advice or just words of encouragement. My bf and I have been together for 5yrs. I am now 6mnths pregnant. When I first told him that we were expecting he was very distant the first 3 months (we do not live together). I didn't hear from him much anymore. Then he began to come around and do things like a man should but now he's back to the distant thing. We haven't spoken at all in almost a week and I'm just frustrated. What should I do? I'm tired of being the one to reach out to him. I mean, I am the one pregnant here, not him. I thought that a man would check up on you and make sure you're okay and that you and the baby had whatever was needed. I don't know what is going on or how to just deal with it.
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Re: Relationship Falling To The Waste Side
I've read that some guys just don't connect until the baby is born. That could be what is going on right now, he's scared about impending fatherdom and not quite capable of handling it. How old is he? It could be that maybe he feels he's too young to be a dad...?
My ex became cold and distant and then warmed up a little and then left. He is 30 and acts like he's 22, he just "didn't want to give up his freedom" (he's dating a girl, living with now, who has a 1 year old. Who lives with them).
I don't want to tell you what to do, every situation is different. But I think that you should consider confronting him, tell him he's either there for you and baby or he's not there at all. Of course, there could be some factors that I'm not considering at the moment, but I believe that things can't be done half-assed. You're in it 100% or you're not at all.
Thank you Rox.
He is 28 and has a 7 year old son already. I just do not know what is going on but you could be right. Thank you for your advice.
I would def reach out to him. Sometimes writing a letter helps because you can say what you want w/out being interrupted & the other person can think about what your saying before they say something they dont mean.
Have limits of what your willing to do or put up with but he's the father so I think its important for you to try. And youve been with him for some time so I don't know if your heart can just move on so fast. You might be mad at his lack of interest andits hurtful. But you guys do have some history. Im in a situation where the babies father is being an A-hole & Im doing things on my own and have hatred for him because of it. But I have mixed emotions because before the baby I wanted to be with him. So now I have dreams about him and I wake up crying b/c I miss him but I get mad at myself for feeling that way about him after how horrible hes treated me. But the truth is the feelings are there. I just dont know what to do or how to deal with these crazy feelings.
Obviously your baby is more important but I don't think you should give up but have limits. Remember, most important is for you to take care of yourself!
Chin up hun, you've gone 5 years together!