LGBT Parenting

Switching to IVF?

Morning all,

 

My wife and I are currently TTC and have done one cycle of IUI which did not work and are in the second cycle.  We have five total rounds of sperm, so after this cycle only 3 left. Originally, I had felt that IVF was too invasive but now, with my body totally out of control, that opinion has shifted.  

This morning we talked about moving to IVF after this round since it's cost comparative to adoption and the cost of each IUI is still pretty high.  We are just torn over what is the best chance.

 

I'm wondering what others think/have done? 

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me:33 my wife:32      married in June '12
LONG road through IF ending in heartbreak and frustration.
Moving on to Adoption : matched 5/14! 
Our beautiful son was born August 25, 2014!! 



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Re: Switching to IVF?

  • H. and I are having this conversation on an ongoing basis.... Like you and your partner, we are both concerned about running out of sperm, and sometimes IVF seems like a more cost-effective option compared to multiple IUI cycles.

     We don't have an answer yet, but are thinking about it for sure.  

    For me - here are some of the things that have gone through my head about it... I'll let H. reply if she wants herself with some of her ideas....

    - IVF with my eggs isn't a good option for me because I have DOR, so doing it with H's eggs is our option.   I like the romantic idea of being pg with my partner's egg's, and both being connected to a baby that way -- -- but I also know that doing that means not having a bio connection to a child, and that needs a bit more time to process in my brain.  (Not that I can't get there... just not there yet)

    - I am scared about the financial gamble IVF is...  If something happened with that cycle and we didn't get enough embryos, we're basically back to sq. 1 but minus $10000.  That part scares me.

    - IVF success rates are much higher than IUI, and the prospective of getting multiple embryos frozen sounds good to me.  Really good.

    - I too struggle with feeling out of control with my body with IUI's.  IVF would hopefully take away some of that, but who knows.  I worry that I would be trading body control to just giving our lab more control, I don't know if that would solve the issue.

    - I worry that the weak link for us with iui is the "timing" of the insemination, and doing IVF would take some of this away for us.

     

    ---- That's pretty much where I am right now.   I sort of still want to believe that we can have that beautiful scenerio where we both get pg quickly and easily with the same donor --- but sperm issues, fertility troubles and all the rest means that we get more vulnerable to that.   Am not really sure, but IVF is definitely on the table for us... we just aren't sure how long we will push the iui cycles first.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

    We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.

    image

  • Hi Kezzzke,

    I'm really hoping that some moms on the board will reply to this, and share their success stories. 

    There are so many decision factors that are involved in switching from IUI to IVF. What medications have been involved up to this point, what insurance will cover, what RE will agree to do... These are all factors for me and my wife. 

    I'm just going to wait for others with more experience to reply to this. My RE always says, there are a lot more possible steps before we get to IVF. I'm coming near the end of those. Injectables are next, most likely.

    Good luck and talk to your RE about what the best next step is.

    M&K met 8/2002 married 6/2012
    TTC with RE since March 2012
    3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
    (2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
    Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
    EDD 11/28/13
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  • we did several IUI rounds and our last effort we moved to IVF

    Most clinics should tell you their IVF success rate - but knowing now what we know we should have done IVF right off the bad but M was having no issues no medical reason why the IUI did not work ( maybe timing maybe frozen sperm) 

    what we spent in IUI's we spent on one IVF cycle.  It was a gamble but likei said knowing what we know now we should have just done IVF right off the bat

      We are also older - but egg quality and quantity was all fine- Our first RE misdiagnosed M with PCOS had her on tond of meds  the 2nd RE  said she does not have PCOS and should be a breeze to do IUI we did one with him it was not successful and we just said lets do IVF

     Now we have twin Girls 18months old. 

     I dont know where i read it or maybe the Nurse at our sperm bank told us but the stat for IUI's was like after 3 tries there is usually success and doing at home ICI with frozen is like a 6% chance of success and the person also said at home ICI with frozen and a BIGGER WOMAN  lessens the success rate also - I was kinda surprised but.

    We are in the talks of TRES baby - (doubtful) but if we do number 3 then It will be my eggs which is super expensive to do but we only have one vial ( donor is no longer donating and no more supply someone bought it all) so money wise if i did IUI would be cheapest  but to insure a higher success rate I think IVF. Oh, I dont want to carry but will take one for the  team  - for financial reasons. SO that is how we decide. 

     We were really against IVF at first also ... but our want and need for having a baby changed that perspective  

     

    - 2 Moms 2 Twins Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
    image
  • Can you tell us more about why you're concerned about only having 3 vials left? Is there any reason you can't try another donor (want full sibs, etc.)?

    We're in the position of having to do IVF to up our chances of a bio sibling, but we only have 1 vial (and there aren't any others to purchase). If we didn't already have kids, though, I would probably do 6-8 IUIs before talking IVF. But that is at least in part because I don't have any IF coverage, so IVF is $$$ compared to IUI's $.

    married 03/08/08 -- ttc with PCOS (dx 2005) & DS
    IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
    Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
    image
    finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
  • imagethiswillbe:

    Can you tell us more about why you're concerned about only having 3 vials left? Is there any reason you can't try another donor (want full sibs, etc.)?

    We're in the position of having to do IVF to up our chances of a bio sibling, but we only have 1 vial (and there aren't any others to purchase). If we didn't already have kids, though, I would probably do 6-8 IUIs before talking IVF. But that is at least in part because I don't have any IF coverage, so IVF is $$$ compared to IUI's $.

     

    We basically had an agreement before we began this that 5 tries was enough. I was worried I'd turn into a crazy lady and refuse to give up, spending all our $$$$ in an endless stream of tries. For my wife, she just felt at the time that birthing a child wasn't really in her wheelhouse of decisions, so just went along with my choices.... this has changed quite a bit as we are now in it. 

     

     Now, I still feel like I could easily become crazy pants but also the donor has gone into the siblings only category and this would be our first.  We could theoretically find another donor but it was so hard to find one we felt was perfect, it's hard to imagine re opening that process.

     

     

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    me:33 my wife:32      married in June '12
    LONG road through IF ending in heartbreak and frustration.
    Moving on to Adoption : matched 5/14! 
    Our beautiful son was born August 25, 2014!! 



    Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage


  • I really, deeply appreciate the thoughtful and deep replies!  thank you so much for taking the time to share your experiences and your thought processes. 

    We are largely in the same bought Mananda, lots of pros and cons and what if's.

     

    My body has decided to be crazy this cycle, so instead of a Monday IUI we are on for tomorrow.  Wouldn't it be great if it stuck and this became moot point?

     Thanks again to all.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    me:33 my wife:32      married in June '12
    LONG road through IF ending in heartbreak and frustration.
    Moving on to Adoption : matched 5/14! 
    Our beautiful son was born August 25, 2014!! 



    Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage


  • I never got to try IUI as my HSG showed swollen tubes which I had to have surgically removed - so we had to go straight to IVF. Also, we used a donor egg since the viability of my eggs looked very iffy, and we wanted a take-home healthy baby more than my genetics (oddly, this was easier to swallow that I thought it would be). The upside of IVF is that most clinics will only do ICSI with frozen sperm, which means every egg is fertilized with a sperm - so if you have limited sperm, this is a great approach. We had 19 eggs, 14 mature, 11 fertilized and in the end, 4 were viable embryos. We put in 1 (I'm 10 weeks along!) and froze 3. There is a lot of attrition at every stage of IVF for most people. We were thrilled with 4.

    Because I didn't use my own eggs, my preparation was really minimal and involved just estrogen patches, lupron shots in the belly (tiny needle, no biggie) and progesterone suppositories up the chute 3x/day. Obviously with your own eggs, the impact is pretty big for those 2 weeks and that is definitely something to consider. That said, some women really don't seem to have much of an impact.

    You might hang out/lurk on the IF board a bit as a lot of ladies are going through their first iVF and tend to write about a lot of details, questions, etc. and it's a very responsive community. A lot of them with MFI (male factor infertility) are in similar situations - limited sperm, IUIs failed, etc. So just might be a good resource, especially to get a feel for drug reactions, etc. Everyone is different, so I read them all with a grain of salt - I tried to trust my RE and my body - but it was still helpful to see how others were experiencing IVF.

    Hope that helps a little!

    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


    imageimageimageimage

  • Hi,

    We tried five unsuccessful iuis and I just found out I am pregnant after our first ivf.  This has left me wondering about the effectiveness of iuis with previously frozen sperm. And, for some reason, I had an easier time with the IVF than the iui's with bravelle shots.  As strange as this may sound, I found the IVF easier to get through and less invasive, probably because of the prescribed drugs though (anesthesia and valium).  Another good thing about IVF is that you will usually get some leftover embryos to freeze from one cycle, so if the first ivf doesn't work the second one is a fifth of the cost, at least that's how it is at out clinic.  We have an extra frozen embryo that now we aren't going to need!  

     

  • We have become that crazy person. I have a 19 year old daughter with my ex-husband and a four year old with my wife. We started ttc last year at a fertility clinic. The donor for my four year old retired, so he was not an option. We said we would only try inseminating 3 times, but I think we did it 5 or 6 off and on. I used Clomid every cycle and Lupron on my last try at the clinic. Using the fertility clinic we have probably spent over $10,000 easily. An acquaintance got pregnant on the first try using a midwife  (the four year old was on the first try using IUI and no meds), so we asked for the midwife's info. The cost of using a midwife is so much cheaper then a fertility clinic. After the second try I was ready to give up. I was also kicking myself for not doing IVF a year ago. I was also mad that I did not try soon after the last pregnancy. I am now 41 and I am not the spring chicken that I was before.  This last try I tried to choose a donor with same ethnic background and blood type as our old donor (we have been through at least four donors since then). Well I am four weeks pregnant (I took Clomid on the second and third cycle). I am just hoping that it will stick. The great thing about the midwife is that her and her partner will work around my schedule. I no longer had to take time off work to drive the next town over to the fertility clinic, I didn't have to worry about missing work or asking for time off. The last insemination was a tricky one, because I did not get the donor sperm until Thursday and I first surged early on Wednesday. The midwives came over Friday at 12:30 am and again at 8:00 am. We thought we might have missed the window, but nope. It is also way more relaxing being inseminated at home as opposed to a clinic. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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