Wanting to get pregnant, but terrified of giving birth!?

Mazur11

Husband and I are thinking about trying to get pregnant towards the end of this year, Im excited! but terrified about giving birth part,
I've never had surgery and fear needles /doctors... i think im going to have a hard time with this .....

Is anyone else like this?

biomaj5

I'm pretty sure everyone has a hard time with this. Either find a way to get over it, or think of other ways to expand your family.

gogadgetgo

It's a scary unknown but it's totally doable. If you like information, read about the process and check out you tube videos of births. If that scares you, stay far far away.

Mrs.Slick

Ditto bio.

You'll probably surprise yourself with how little you'll care about that needle going in you when it means the end is in sight or when needles and surgeries mean a baby is a possibility.

kdjudd

Oh goodness, hun! Giving birth is a beautiful thing. After nine months of waiting for your little miracle, you will be more than ready to give birth! Yes, it is hard work, but it is so worth it! 

Also, if you have a fear of doctors then you might want to consider a home birth or a birth center birth. I think that will help you feel more comfortable. Also, you can avoid IVs and epidurals if you want to. Just add that to your birth plan!

kcisthebombdotcom

I always had an aversion to doctors/needles--I've actually fainted a few times after getting bloodwork. My desire to have children was much stronger than my fear though. I definitely got used to it quickly though.

kirbabe

As someone who's father is an ER doc, I got spoiled not having to visit the drs very often.  I loved being pregnant, but would get a little stressed out going to the OB, which would make my BP climb a bit, it eventually got easier.  I was never scared of L&D, I looked forward to it, but the thought of a c/s scared the sheiss out of me.  Well, I ended up with one and it was not fun, but you do what you have to and it's totally worth it, no matter how hellacious it is!

beachcomberbride

It really isn't that bad, even if you have really difficult pregnancies/births like I did! Trust me, you'll be so anxious to meet your bundle, you'll do ANYTHING!!! I could have pushed a car out of me if it meant getting to hold my babies!

JNCPro3130

I don't have any children yet, but other people have said that you should let the doctors and nurses know if you don't like/faint while getting blood drawn.  They can talk you through it.  It is easier for them if they know.

 Also, people have said that although giving birth is painful, it is a different type of pain.  People have said that they have a low tolerance for pain, but I've heard, as others have said, that the excitement of meeting your new child outweighs/ makes the pain worth it.  

I bet you'll be fine.  If you're excited, I bet you will be fine.  

gnomemom

I used to be absolutely terrified as well, but it really...isn't that bad. Seriously. By the end of your pregnancy, you'll be so ready to have the baby that your desire to meet your LO and not be pregnant anymore will outweigh your fear.

I had an epidural and giving birth wasn't painful at all. Recovery wasn't awful, either. Also, I have vasovagal syncope and I have always passed out when I have a sudden change in blood pressure (giving blood always resulted in me passing out and being nauseated), but when you are pregnant you have so much extra blood volume that that wasn't a problem for me at all! I could handle all the blood draws and even giving birth no problem.

Sto71

That's why they give an epidural! But its normal to be scared for your first time. I am excited for the whole process but the going into labor that is the part im not looking forward too. Needles don't bother me at all so that past of it is ok

Mommy2CB

I definitely felt like that when I was younger (scared of birth) but as I got older, got married to my DH etc.. that desire to have children outweighed the fear of child birth. Woman have been giving birth for a long long time, and now there are all sorts of pain relief too, you'll do fine

And BTW I had a horrible birth.. week in the hospital with pre term labor, steriod shots, epidural(s) failed, back labor etc etc and then my DS was in the NICU for 3 weeks, so we had to leave the hospital empty handed.. However, we are now 20wks pregnant with DS2 (DS1 is 18 mos) and even though my DS1's birth sucked big time and was very painful, I am so excited to give him a brother, and I know if everything were to go badly again that I could get through it - though hoping for a much different labor experience!

You can do it, you are stronger than you think

SpaceGirlSpiff

I felt the same way, and actually have a pretty bad panic disorder which would cause me to have full on panic attacks when faced with needles/blood draws/medical stuff... etc

Believe me... you find a way to deal with it, and it all ends up OK.  Actually, pregnancy practically cured my fear of needles

It was weird with me because for some reason, the hormone chemistry while I was pregnant really kept my anxiety on a very steady level and I didnt have any attacks...it was awesome.  I know of someone else that has anxiety issues, she said it was the same for her... not sure if it's just the influx of hormones, or your body is kind of in protective mode...either way, I got through it without one attack.

And by the end of the pregnancy, sure, like most people I was nervous about delivery because it was a new experience, and the unknown .... but once youre in the midst of it, you will find your way to get through it.  The scariest part is the anticipation leading up to it I think.  

So this Mama that used to be pass-out-worthy, deathly afraid of needles and medical procedures survived, getting an epi/IV/shots and all.... you can do it! Good luck

 

ETA - and I'm not saying I guarantee you wouldnt feel faint or have anxiety during a blood draw, just wanted to share my personal experience ... There are many tricks to help you through that, breathing exercises, etc.  And by the end of your pregnancy you would have had so many tests, it becomes easier each time! 

noslen0519

I'm not saying I'm looking forward to needles and being in pain, but it's only a temporary thing. Then the real work begins! =-)

gnarlymama

Being nervous is normal. Everyone is. But, I can tell you that EVERY ONE of my friends who has had babies has been in one of two camps, either scared sh*tless and can't get over it or nervous but mostly pretty zen. Of those ladies in every case, the mom's who were terrified and couldn't get past it had very difficult long L+D and the ones who relaxed into it had pretty textbook straightforward births. Read some of Ina Mae Gaskin's books. She is very wise and has loads of experience helping mama's get comfortable with the fact that their bodies are MADE to give birth. I might also recommend the documentary "The Business of Being Born". While it is pretty down on hospital births, and you should not let that deter you from a hospital birth if that is what you want, they also give a really lovely honest picture of what normal, natural healthy birth can be. If you watch those TV shows like "Baby Story" which really dramatize/traumatize birth some of these other resources may help give a more reasonable perspective.

Adam&Eve2

I'm pretty sure that no one likes getting poked with a needle. And labor is no fun even with the pain meds. But it is totally worth it. And after it is over you don't really care about  what happened because you have a tiny miracle to hold. 

If you really believe that you are going to have a problem with this then talk to your DH and doctor about it. See what they say and go from there.  

PunkyBooster

Are you kidding? Labor and delivery was the easiest part of that whole shebang for me. 

 

fromwomb2will

My husband and I are thinking about the same thing. We want to start trying soon but we both have a fear of going to the hospital. I don't believe having a baby is a sickness and I feel that the hospital will treat it that way. I've been reading up on it and I find that going to the hospital in America has a higher percentage of getting a C-section. They start to intervene with all that stuff like pitocin and the epidural which speeds up and then slows down the birth. These interventions cause reason for the doctor to want to just cut the baby out. I feel that to be unnecessary.

I think our first mistake is to be looking at childbirth as a surgery. Our bodies naturally do this surgery should only be thought of if there are complications. 

I've been looking into alternative methods such as midwifery and getting a doula. For me, having a midwife means I have someone fighting to help me have the child naturally. To help me avoid a surgical procedure. The more I look into it I don't see why we don't start off with midwives and doula's and if the complication arises to go to a doctor.

It's a scary thing but just think about it as, this is what we were made to do. It's a blessing and a right of passage. You'll never feel prouder of yourself.  

 

pianoharpguitar

Oh my goodness, that's exactly how I feel! I would be absolutely overjoyed at having a baby, but the actual labor process... that's so scary! I'm glad I clicked this thread though. A lot of the people who posted had really good points and it was a great courage booster!

scbedi

well it is called labor for a reason. You'll do fine.