Suddenly not liking daycare :-(

LouiseB2001

I haven't been here for a while but now DD is very unhappy about her (wonderful) daycare :-(

She has been in daycare for over a  year and in this one since August. When she started I got into a really good drop-off habit of going in with her, sitting down at the big table where they have fruit in the morning and just being there with her for 5 minutes. Then I say 'mommy has to go to work, bye bye' and she waved at me happily. I was so proud of how she took everything and she really seems to like this daycare even though most of the kids in her group are younger than her. They send her into the big kids group occasionally which she also loves.

Since we got back from Christmas holiday she has been really difficult to drop off and cries a lot in the morning. It starts already at home where she says "Zoe not go daycare". She repeats this for the hour it takes me to get her breakfast, get her dressed and get out the door. She cries a lot. Then at daycare she screams and say "mommy not go work" the whole time I'm trying to drop her off. The teachers are nice but they have to drag her screaming back to the room when I leave.

I'm so sad about this but don't know what to do. I try to pick her up a bit earlier sometimes and when I get there she is always happy. Since we live in Sweden they have centralized daycare coordination so if I wanted to switch, this is a long process plus she would have to go to a Swedish one (no other English speaking ones around us). Could it just be an after-holiday effect?

tokenhoser

I wouldn't assume it has anything to do with the actual daycare if she seems happy there later in the day and was happy there previously. I'd guess that developmentally, she's more able to anticipate what is going to happen (she thinks about going to daycare when she's at home in the morning). I would try to just keep the routine strong and maybe talk positively about the fun things she did at daycare today (and will do tomorrow) at bedtime.

aglenn

I think it is just a phase.  DD does this periodically and it always passes eventually.  Sometimes it's because one of her friends left the class, sometimes it's because she's bored and needs to move up to the next classroom, and sometimes there appears to be no reason at all.  I would give it some time before you try to make any major changes.  Hang in there, I know it's hard!

LouiseB2001

Thanks, that's a really good point that she is better in anticipating what will happen and also phrase her feelings around it. Her language took a leap over Christmas, and she surprises me with her talk about future things. She has more patience and focus too, yesterday she waited by the elevator for 15 minutes for a friend of mine (whom she loves) after I said he was on his way. I really hope it is a phase but it is torturing me a the moment.

rhek003

My son, who typically enjoys his school, has gone through some rough patches and adjustments over the past two years. I always find that going back after the winter break can be a tough time. Last year a new child joined the class in January and it threw all the kids for a loop and it took everyone awhile to adjust. Also, the weather is colder and so they don't always go outside twice a day like they do when it's nicer. They still go to the gym and have free play time, but the tweak in routine really seems to bother my son. 

If she's happy after getting over the initial drop off, I would assume it's just a stage. It's been helpful with my son to keep our routine as consistent as possible (i.e. no dragging out the drop off hoping a few more minutes will help him feel better).

 Good luck! It's tough - but you'll get through it   

beautiflaw

I wouldn't think it was an issue with the daycare unless she acts like she can't wait to leave when you go pick her up. If she's freaking out and crying and trying to drag you out the door, then I would probably talk to the teachers and find out if something has changed that she hasn't gotten used to yet or something.

DD does this too sometimes whenever there is some stressful event happening. Whenever DH has finals she gets very clingy. Around the holidays it was also really rough. We take her extra early when we know she's going to do it so we can spend extra time playing with her until she's settled. Sometimes its an extra 15 or 20 minutes. Her daycare allows her to bring a stuffed animal from home for her naptime and we let her pick it out as part of her morning routine and that helps. She takes it in with her and sometimes plays with it until its time for us to go and then she puts it in her cubby when she's ready to play with the other kids and that's how we know its okay for us to go. Also the teachers can tell when she needs some extra attention so they hold her and spend extra time with her.

She also does this when she is starting to come down with something. I know when she's about to get sick because when we get her up in the morning and say, "Okay, time to go to school" she loses her little mind and will not get dressed. Usually she tries to dress herself and on days when she won't even let me put on her diaper I know the sniffles are right around the corner.