Beer and Diaper Party for men

Mr&MrsMTA

https://www.etsy.com/listing/103006288/rustic-beer-diaper-party-invitation?ref=sr_gallery_13&ga_search_query=turquoise+baby+shower+invitation&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=ZZ&ga_min=0&ga_max=0&ga_page=10&ga_search_type=handmade

I thought this was a cool and different idea esp for people in my situation, I have 2 DD's the youngest is 12. I am now 10wks and this is DH's 1st LO. I do not feel comfortable having a shower even if it is DH's first (all of DH's family thinks I should have a shower but I dont think so)....we are more the able to buy our own items. But my DH loves to get together with the guys and I thought what a cute way to make him feel special on being a first time Daddy.

A friend found this on Etsy and I thought it was such a cute idea, but I think I would change it to beer, wings and either poker or horse shoes since thats what my husband does when all the guys get together.

What do you think???

Mr&MrsMTA

1) It is NEVER okay to host your own gift giving event. Therefore, you should not be throwing a party where people are expected to bring anything. If someone offers, that's a different story altogether, but don't ask anyone, hint to anyone, or likewise.

Well thats crazy to say everyone hosts their own kids Bday partys or even their own Bday Partys.....DH and I hosted our own Wedding and those are both gift giving events.

I thought it was cute as this was meant to be casual and I think it has diapers well because its men it makes it easier for them.....well I thought it was a good idea BUT I never said I was going to do it  so relax ghees

Jillwithani

Mr&MrsMTA:

1) It is NEVER okay to host your own gift giving event. Therefore, you should not be throwing a party where people are expected to bring anything. If someone offers, that's a different story altogether, but don't ask anyone, hint to anyone, or likewise.

Well thats crazy to say everyone hosts their own kids Bday partys or even their own Bday Partys.....DH and I hosted our own Wedding and those are both gift giving events.

I thought it was cute as this was meant to be casual and I think it has diapers well because its men it makes it easier for them.....well I thought it was a good idea BUT I never said I was going to do it  so relax ghees

 

SmoothieQueen

one of my guy buddys was telling me about this! but my MIL is planning on hosting our co-ed baby shower already, so we're not going to do it.  i say if you think your circle of friends is cool with it, go for it  

a13049

I agree with pp that someone else should host. DH has a friend who is hosting a diaper party. They joke that he is rescuing him from te vagina fest that is happening at out house the diaper shower my uncle is the only one who will have a SO at the shower so it's nt really double dipping, and he wasn't told to bring diapers either, he coming from out of town and is hanging out with the guys while his wife attends the shower. I don't think in this case it's an issue of people dictating what gifts to get, as guys aren't really that picky. They don't even send out invites, it's just a text word of mouth hey guys diapers and wipes party for kev on Sunday at Matt's, stop by if you want. It's common in his circle. I think it would be more of an issue if you start dictating size, type or brand.

Helenahhandbasket

Ditto PP's about not hosting a gift giving event for yourself.

Birthday parties for adults and weddings are different-- they are gift optional events.  

OP you posted yesterday about doing a meet the baby party, right?  I think that is by far the best scenario for your particular situation.  It will still give your hubby a chance to show off his new LO, and catch up with friends he has not seen in a while.  If you want to serve beer and wings, go for it!

If people want to brings gifts, they will.  

Good luck to you!

Happy2BPregnant

I actually think it's a cute idea.  Can one of DH's friends host it for you? 

nortiz03

a13049:

DH has a friend who is hosting a diaper party.

 Just curious... did the friend offer to host the diaper party.  If so was it after he knew your DH wanted a diaper party??

J/W, DH wants a diaper party.  He wants something for the guys to hang out and he attended a friends diaper party last year and liked the whole idea.

 

nortiz03

In response to your post-

I think it's a good idea.  I don't have the best shower ettiquette but if you think it's something you and DH's circle of friends would enjoy than go for it. 

LilyLove29

I think they're a fun way for the guy to feel involved. We aren't doing one because MIL is hosting a couples shower for us, but I've been planning with one of his buddies to have a guys night. Food, a keg, cigars, etc. no gifts, but a guys night to celebrate him becoming a daddy. It's a surprise, so I'm involved in the coordination, but I'm not the host and I will be getting a mani pedi and a massage during it.

I think if your group of friends would be into it, go for it. It's a nice gesture for him. If you're the one planning it for him, its a little, ehhh... since I realize the diapers are a gift for you too, but if people don't want to bring gifts they don't have to. Besides, guys won't care, they'll be thinking of beer and brats or whatever, and how it's a great chance to hang out with their boy before the sleepless nights turn him into a zombie.

If you think it's fun and the guys coming will have fun, I say go for it.

mben1119

I think that in no way should you host any baby-related party for yourself, especially one that is asking for people to bring you gifts. Even worse, a diaper party dictates the type of gift that should be brought. Double no.

Cranang

So, OP, you would feel comfortable calling your friends and saying "Hey, I want you to come and give me a gift because I got pregnant!  There will be food!"  That's what a shower is.  There is no other purpose than to give gifts.  Baby shower=bridal shower.  Birth of baby=Wedding.  Surely you can see the difference.  Yes, people often gift at a wedding.  But it's not the point of a wedding.  People often gift at a birthday party, but it's not the point of the party.  There is no other point to your scenario other than getting stuff. 

Mr&MrsMTA

I am not getting some of your post.......this is not a shower if you look at my original post I said I do not feel comfortable having a shower. Even though DH's family wants to (they are 2nd and 3rd baby shower kind of people) If you are getting upset at the Etsy idea my friend found about it stating bring a pack of diapers honestly with our circle this would never be an issue or even side eyed.....in our circle you NEVER EVER show up to any party or get together empty handed even if you just bring a bottle of wine thats just us. All of the men in this circle of friends and family get to gether once a week in the winter they play cards  in the Spring-Fall they play horseshoes every week I think amongst all of the Vaj-j parties this family is having in 2013 I honestly think this crew would get a kick out of it I can esily hide behind my dads name IF I DECIDED to do this party but with this crew I wouldnt even have to.

But again this was just an idea a friend found on Etsy....NOT A SHOWER

Helenahhandbasket

Mr&MrsMTA:

I am not getting some of your post.......this is not a shower if you look at my original post I said I do not feel comfortable having a shower. Even though DH's family wants to (they are 2nd and 3rd baby shower kind of people) If you are getting upset at the Etsy idea my friend found about it stating bring a pack of diapers honestly with our circle this would never be an issue or even side eyed.....in our circle you NEVER EVER show up to any party or get together empty handed even if you just bring a bottle of wine thats just us. All of the men in this circle of friends and family get to gether once a week in the winter they play cards  in the Spring-Fall they play horseshoes every week I think amongst all of the Vaj-j parties this family is having in 2013 I honestly think this crew would get a kick out of it I can esily hide behind my dads name IF I DECIDED to do this party but with this crew I wouldnt even have to.

But again this was just an idea a friend found on Etsy....NOT A SHOWER

 

I don't want to speak for everyone, but for me the distaste comes from you sending an invite to your friends and telling them what to bring.

I would never come to a party empty handed either, but I would be hesitant to attend a party in which the hostess said something to me like "hey, you know what?  I haven't had a chance to buy toilet paper lately.  If you are going to come to my party and bring me something, don't bring a stupid trinket, bring me toilet paper."

I will say again a meet the baby party sounds fun, and even better if you serve beer and wings.  Just leave the part off about bringing diapers.  If people want to bring you a gift, they will, and most likely it will be baby related.

Good luck OP.

mben1119

Mr&MrsMTA:

I am not getting some of your post.......this is not a shower if you look at my original post I said I do not feel comfortable having a shower. Even though DH's family wants to (they are 2nd and 3rd baby shower kind of people) If you are getting upset at the Etsy idea my friend found about it stating bring a pack of diapers honestly with our circle this would never be an issue or even side eyed.....in our circle you NEVER EVER show up to any party or get together empty handed even if you just bring a bottle of wine thats just us. All of the men in this circle of friends and family get to gether once a week in the winter they play cards  in the Spring-Fall they play horseshoes every week I think amongst all of the Vaj-j parties this family is having in 2013 I honestly think this crew would get a kick out of it I can esily hide behind my dads name IF I DECIDED to do this party but with this crew I wouldnt even have to.

But again this was just an idea a friend found on Etsy....NOT A SHOWER

A party, revolving around the birth of a child, in which gifts are expected is a shower. You can call it whatever you want, but it is what it is.

And, furthermore, are you sure your husband would really be into this?  My husband would be mortified if he was going to hang with his friends and they all brought baby diapers as a type of entrance fee. And to "hide behind my dads name"?  Grow up.

ETA: You put someone on blast for inviting you to a second shower, then post this??  WTF.

OSibyl

I think it is a cute idea. People on this board love to live by their own rules. You should live by your own. I get the idea of not hosting your own "give me gifts" party... but I also think it is nice to let your husband feel special about becoming a dad for the first time. Do whatever YOU feel is right.

laurenbell09

We are doing this.... DH is calling it a Brew and Poo party. Technically.. it's just a hang out at a pub by our house for all his dude friends  - most all have kids, so it gives them a reason to get out of the house and have "man-time". If they want to bring diapers they can, if not, that's fine too. I won't be attending. And neither will any of the wives. Just the dudes.

Edit: I also used paperlesspost.com - like evite - but fancier - and free. 

a13049

nortiz03:

In response to your post
I think it's a good idea.nbsp; I don't have the best shower ettiquette but if you think it's something you and DH's circle of friends would enjoy than go for it.nbsp;

His friend offered it, DH was planning on being at te shower his buddy even called me first to make sure DH wouldn't get in trouble for missing the shower lol. It's not very baby related the guys all go to te hosts house, drop off the diapers or wipes on the kitchen table and hit up the keg. They don't get wasted or go wild jut hang around and catch up. It's very informal but that's how their group does it

santjust

Go for it! My DH attended a friends Manly shower , it was beer and video games no gifts but a Diaper Donation was the entrance pass super cute the souvenir was a T-shirt the dad to be designed with a drawing of  a mom, dad and baby turtle. My DH came home and said he wanted one when he was gonna be a dad. Coincidently 3weeks later we found out we were pregnant. Immediately my brother and his brother jumped in and offered to host, in the end they delegated I prepped and disappeared they planned it to coincide with the season premiere of the Walking Dead brought in a projector screen to play Zombies in call of duty. And even had a hot wheels racing contest. I wasn't there and the guys ordered pizza and were nice enough to even clean up after. The souvenir was a bottle of Smirnoff with an its a boy ribbon. We received loads of diapers and some very thoughtful gifts as well. In the end it was a good thing he had his shower because I went into preterm labor and had our son early. I didn't get to have a shower myself and the stocked diapers have been a godsend if anything just something we don't have to worry about getting. FOR A WHILE. You should do what you think is best. Babies are an occasion to celebrate no matter which parent it is. 

JenniD2

mabenner1:

Mr&MrsMTA:

I am not getting some of your post.......this is not a shower if you look at my original post I said I do not feel comfortable having a shower. Even though DH's family wants to (they are 2nd and 3rd baby shower kind of people) If you are getting upset at the Etsy idea my friend found about it stating bring a pack of diapers honestly with our circle this would never be an issue or even side eyed.....in our circle you NEVER EVER show up to any party or get together empty handed even if you just bring a bottle of wine thats just us. All of the men in this circle of friends and family get to gether once a week in the winter they play cards  in the Spring-Fall they play horseshoes every week I think amongst all of the Vaj-j parties this family is having in 2013 I honestly think this crew would get a kick out of it I can esily hide behind my dads name IF I DECIDED to do this party but with this crew I wouldnt even have to.

But again this was just an idea a friend found on Etsy....NOT A SHOWER

A party, revolving around the birth of a child, in which gifts are expected is a shower. You can call it whatever you want, but it is what it is.

And, furthermore, are you sure your husband would really be into this?  My husband would be mortified if he was going to hang with his friends and they all brought baby diapers as a type of entrance fee. And to "hide behind my dads name"?  Grow up.

ETA: You put someone on blast for inviting you to a second shower, then post this??  WTF.

This, especially the bolded part. I know that if I were to ask DH if he would want to do this, his answer would be "heck no." If anything, he would rather just hang out with the guys and not make a big event out of it.

But I don't understand why you feel the need to throw a party so someone can just bring you diapers. You are complaining that you got invited to a second shower, but want to throw an event for yourself so you can get diapers from the people you know.

nortiz03

laurenbell09:

We are doing this.... DH is calling it a Brew and Poo party. Technically.. it's just a hang out at a pub by our house for all his dude friends  - most all have kids, so it gives them a reason to get out of the house and have "man-time". If they want to bring diapers they can, if not, that's fine too. I won't be attending. And neither will any of the wives. Just the dudes.

Edit: I also used paperlesspost.com - like evite - but fancier - and free. 

Are you hosting this??  Or is someone else hosting it for you?  I want to have one for DH but after reading everyone elses posts, not sure.  I think my husbands group of friends they would love to help out and have a reason to drink and eat good food!

FemShep

My mind is completely boggled that so many people think it's OK to require an entrance fee for a party and to dictate what the entrance fee is.

Guess what?  If you tell your guests to bring diapers, you're asking them to pay an entrance fee (a PP even called it an entrance pass).  You should never ever ever ask your guests to pay anything.  If they offer, great!  (Yes, Virginia, many of us always bring a bottle of wine/chocolates/etc when we are guests.)  But never require it.  How rude! 

(And yes, if you are hosting an event that says Bring XYZ, you are requiring it, even if you don't turn people away at the door.) 

And never ever ever tell someone what gift they must bring.  Whether it's a diaper, a book, or a platypus doesn't make any difference.  Never tell a guest they must bring a gift, and never tell them they must bring a specific gift.  WTF is this so hard to understand?

Just because it's a cute etsy invite doesn't mean it isn't rude and tacky. 

 

Helenahhandbasket

santjust:

Go for it! My DH attended a friends Manly shower , it was beer and video games no gifts but a Diaper Donation was the entrance pass super cute the souvenir was a T-shirt the dad to be designed with a drawing of  a mom, dad and baby turtle. My DH came home and said he wanted one when he was gonna be a dad. Coincidently 3weeks later we found out we were pregnant. Immediately my brother and his brother jumped in and offered to host, in the end they delegated I prepped and disappeared they planned it to coincide with the season premiere of the Walking Dead brought in a projector screen to play Zombies in call of duty. And even had a hot wheels racing contest. I wasn't there and the guys ordered pizza and were nice enough to even clean up after. The souvenir was a bottle of Smirnoff with an its a boy ribbon. We received loads of diapers and some very thoughtful gifts as well. In the end it was a good thing he had his shower because I went into preterm labor and had our son early. I didn't get to have a shower myself and the stocked diapers have been a godsend if anything just something we don't have to worry about getting. FOR A WHILE. You should do what you think is best. Babies are an occasion to celebrate no matter which parent it is. 

 

I hope this is just bad wording.  Because this is one of the worst things I have read on this board.

[Deleted User]

I didn't read any other responses. I think you and your husband should not throw yourselves a party. Your DH can get together with the guys without soliciting them for gifts. They can hang out, eat wings and drink beer and play poker. Don't have to make a 'diaper party' out of it.

Mr&MrsMTA

Again I think you are not reading my OP....I said I was NOT having a shower and yes I put someone on blast for have a full blown babyshower for their 2nd LO because I think it is rude.

I NEVER EVER said I was having this Beer and Diaper party. I SAID MY FRIEND FOUND THIS ON ETSY AND I THOUGHT IT WAS  A CUTE IDEA for someone in my situation the fact that the ETSY listing says bring diapers....PEOPLE I DID NOT MAKE THAT GRAPHIC ART SOMEONE ELSE DID..... OMG can none of you read?????

I also said that DH's family is ok with 2nd and 3rd baby showers (I AM NOT) They want to have one for me BUT I DO NOT WANT ONE.

and asking people to bring diapers to a party....is nothing in my circle I have been to tons of showers that had a wishing with or door prize where you were asked to BRING CERTAIN THINGS FOR IT. I do not see what the problem is here IF THEY WANT TO THROW ME A SHOWER and I do not want one I think these people will be more then ok with bringing diapers. and its a mens party HAHA they need specific directions hahahaha

I also do not see the Beer and Diaper party anything like a shower it is guys getting together hanging out and congragulating him on being a new dad they are celebrating HIM not the baby.

AGAIN I never said I was having this party I was just asking for opinions the fact that MOST of you felt the need to have harsh tones with me right from the very beginning is extreamly odd I dont even know you. If you have an opinion thats just fine but to be nasty about your opinion is i am sorry but sad and crazy.

Unknown

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BallSox

1) The term "Brew and Poo" party is disgusting.  Honestly---I have a pretty sophmoric sense of humor sometimes and even this is just squicky. 

2) It's not enough to hit up the same people (spouses of female friends invited to the shower) for gifts, but to make it a requirement of participation is no different than holding a charity fundraiser.  You might as well just send them an invitation and tell them what they are allowed to buy you.  Heavens forbid someone forget something important or you get doubles of something!

3) OP:  Chill out before you pop a blood vessel.  Just own the fact that you're trying to shake down your friends for more.  Yes, you found it on Etsy, but you're pondering the validity of it.  This means that you are interested in doing it.  I don't care if someone else hosts it, by allowing them to host it, you're endorsing the idea of the party. 

4) Anytime someone says "Who cares what all of those people think---rules schmules! Go for it!" it's probably not a good idea.

CNJ4EVA

Any time there Is a shower, DH and his friends get together and drink beer and eat a ton of bacon. They call it a "baconing" and they enjoy it more than the women enjoy the shower lol.

mel8255

I actually don't care about the Diaper Parties because frankly it's for a bunch of dudes who may or may not participate in the darn thing anyway. The thing is that I look at this as being the same as asking a friend what they want or need at a birthday party, or reading off a registry. I'd much rather purchase something they want/need versus not. What would piss me off though is if I needed to pay to get into the venue as well - just something to consider. I once was invited to a birthday party, where there was a cover-charge to get into the party, and then on the invitation was the expectation that everyone would "chip in" for the food. That's all kinds of F'd up - and no I won't do anything for those people.

Liz4444

Am I the only one who keeps reading OP's screen name as MrandMrsT&A?

mben1119

MrMrsMTA:

I also do not see the Beer and Diaper party anything like a shower it is guys getting together hanging out and congragulating him on being a new dad they are celebrating HIM not the baby.

Then why are they bringing diapers?

[Deleted User]

mabenner1:

MrMrsMTA:

I also do not see the Beer and Diaper party anything like a shower it is guys getting together hanging out and congragulating him on being a new dad they are celebrating HIM not the baby.

Then why are they bringing diapers?

Maybe they are gonna wear the diapers? Like after they drink all of the beer? To celebrate HIM!

PunkyBooster

My DH loves a party, beer, and an excuse to get together with friends but I cannot see this going over well with any of his friends (or him) at all. 

 

BallSox

Estwd2:

MrMrsMTA:

I also do not see the Beer and Diaper party anything like a shower it is guys getting together hanging out and congragulating him on being a new dad they are celebrating HIM not the baby.

And a shower is when girls get together, hang out, and congratulate her on becoming a new mom. They are celebrating HER, not the baby. Oh, you're totes right. Those are NOTHING alike! BTW, I am LOLing so hard right now.

But....the...shower is for the baby because the baby uses the breast pads and...the diaper party is for the dad because....he's doing something great by growing a person and then shoving it out of his cervix....meanwhile, the mom gets NOTHING because all she did was inseminate....wait, no...Mom has the cervix and dad wears the diapers and the breast pads....wait...no...the baby wears the breast pads, the mom wears the diapers and dad uses the money he gets from exchanging all of the gifts for cash on a stripper named Candy Cane after she refuses to let him touch her once the baby is born.  

I think that's right. 

BeckyTheEngineer

So I think this has been driven into the ground, but I'll add my thoughts anyway. I had a neighbor I just met tell me that her husband wanted to have a pampers party, with the general idea being that guys would bring diapers and drink beer. I think she was sort of asking if my husband wanted to host. I didn't really know what to think except that it sounded like not a project I wanted anything to do with.

So overall, I think that this kind of party would need a host, and asking someone to do it or even hinting is really awkward. If your friend or whatever brought it up first and you think it would go over well, then that's a different story.

lisa5201

I second most of the opinions you've already gotten, but I actually think it's a cool idea IF:

-Someone in your circle offers to host it

AND 

-You do not ask for, require, or specify that a gift (or diapers or wipes or whatever) needs to be purchased. No buy in's or entrance fee's or whatever. Some people may bring diapers or a onesie or a bottle of wine, but to specify it, especially to a bunch of guys, in my opinion is super tacky.

I think my DH would actually quite enjoy something like this, really just an excuse for a guys night, but with a little bit of a theme. 

 

Liz4444

Mrstanda thinks we are so mean she complained about us in the Aug 13 UO.

SunAndRain

Even if it is a "cute" idea it's not my dh and his friends can think of one million more compelling reasons to get together.

Believe me: when lo is born it'll be a very special occasion for dh. An etsy styled party isn't necessary to make this so.

And your dh's friends don't care about this event nearly as much as you think they do.

SunAndRain

BallSox:

Estwd2:

MrMrsMTA:

I also do not see the Beer and Diaper party anything like a shower it is guys getting together hanging out and congragulating him on being a new dad they are celebrating HIM not the baby.

And a shower is when girls get together, hang out, and congratulate her on becoming a new mom. They are celebrating HER, not the baby. Oh, you're totes right. Those are NOTHING alike!

BTW, I am LOLing so hard right now.

But....the...shower is for the baby because the baby uses the breast pads and...the diaper party is for the dad because....he's doing something great by growing a person and then shoving it out of his cervix....meanwhile, the mom gets NOTHING because all she did was inseminate....wait, no...Mom has the cervix and dad wears the diapers and the breast pads....wait...no...the baby wears the breast pads, the mom wears the diapers and dad uses the money he gets from exchanging all of the gifts for cash on a stripper named Candy Cane after she refuses to let him touch her once the baby is born.  

I think that's right. 

Rofl!
You are my favorite person today :

pnutg

My brother is hosting a beer and diaper party for DH the day of my shower. His friends will totally be into it. Only you know the people involved and how they will feel about it.

BallSox

Yeah, I really have a problem believing a group of guys will be uniformly into a baby shower for dudes.  I have literally just about every type of guy friend (everything from rifle-toting redneck to stereotypical effeminate gay best friend with all of the stops along the way) and I can't think of a single one of them that would be into a Brew and Poo party any more than they would be into being invited out for drinks.