Just popping in. (rainbow and siggy warning)

pottermommy

Hello all,

I have been away a lot, I don't venture over much since having the rainbow as I know it can be painful to new members.  I came over to offer a few words of support and thought I would check while I was here.

We are doing well.  Gabriel is turning one and I am well let's be honest I am a certified mess.  Many of you know this already.  It is scary thinking that his sister only saw her first birthday and I am terrified that it is all I will get with him too.  I mean bone freezing terrified. 

He had his first surgery a month ago and I was a chaotic spastic panicked mess for that too.  Afterwards they placed him in my arms still asleep from the anesthesia and it felt just like holding kam dead in my arms.  Full blown meltdown right there.  The beeps and needles and stuff didn't help either.  The next one will be in June, I am glad I have a wait but that means he will be almost exactly her age when she died so I am already trying to prepare myself for the onslaught...

Kam's 6th birthday is on Feb 8th.  I don't even know where to begin about that but you all understand how that feels. 

All in all I am doing alright.  Staying at home has helped the PPA alot, though I still freak when I leave him...I don't think it will ever get better.  I am getting great support from the PAL and PALL FB pages, I would lose my mind without them.

Loveofmikeslife, erbmywife, mrs.nice and vampyauthor are my life savers honestly, they pull me through, sometimes kicking and screaming but I always manage to find myself on the other side.

I am sorry to see so many new members but you have come to a safe haven and while you are here you are understood, held, and loved.  I miss you all bunches and even when I am away I think of you often.  And you can always page me if you need something, even if I don't see it several of the women here have my FB info and can page me.  All my thoughts love and prayers.

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Glad to see you again.  I can't believe Gabriel is going to be 1!  Without even being at that point yet, I can completely see how you'd be a nervous wreck for so many things for so many reasons.  I keep telling DH and my parents and close friends that this is going to be me if and when it happens but they don't believe me!

Glad to hear everything is going well.  Wishing you peace and love.

tuscanbride2007

::waves:: hi pottermommy!

Take care of yourself!  Gabriel is so stinkin cute!

 ((HUGS))

Bayberry12

Oh Pottermommy,  It's always good to see you here.  I know things have been hard for you lately, but I am so glad you have a ton of support from some very caring women. 

I know it can be hard/sad to come here sometimes, but you know we are always here.