How to prepare for first IEP mtg?

mom2pottamus

I asked this yesterday but buried it in a thread somewhat...

We have our first IEP mtg for my 4 year old on Monday, and I was looking for any idea of what to expect.  Also any tips on preparing for the meeting?

Thank you for any advice!

finsup

First IEP meetings are hard.  At least the first few were for me.  They are about identifying your childs weaknesses and planning school programming around them.  They are about pinpointing deficits and putting together goals to address them.

This can be hard because the focus is on all the things that your child can't do rather than all the amazing things about them and what they can do - and its not easy to hear as a parent.  I left my first 3 - 4 IEP meetings and cried in the car in the parking lot.

So.  If you can prepare yourself emotionally for that, you are one setp ahead of the game.

 If you can think about what kinds of goals you'd like to see for your child those would be good to bring along too.

Good Luck!

malcivar

Agreen with finsup.  As much as you may want to emphasize all the things your LO CAN do, the IEP isn't the place to do that IMHO.  I truly believe that if I had said less about Chris's speech that he'd be getting more therapy.  The case worker honed in on the fact that he says "I want xxxx please" and said that he speaks in sentences.  No - he speaks in those two or three learned request phrases.  He doesn't actually TELL you anything and the rest is echolalia.  

It really is about identifying what your LO isn't able to do yet and how you'd like the school team to help him/her achieve.  I don't think I did pretty well with my first IEP but will be ready for my next one.  I've thought about asking for a change to his IEP but I don't know that I want to go through all the hassle - don't get me wrong, I'm not being lazy but it takes SO LONG to make any changes that it'll get approved 2 weeks before school ends.  

So, in a nutshell - it won't be touchy feely like an EI meeting.  It's about getting what LO needs and that means really delving into the areas he/she needs to work on - and yes, if applicable, that can include potty training! 

MaxandRuby

I actually replied in the below IEP post (in response to your post).

I just had my first one in late September. I asked to have a copy of their assessment reports at least one day prior to the meeting. i wanted to have a heads up what we would be talking about. It also allowed me to come to the meeting with questions and comments regarding what they said. 

My first meeting basically went like this: introductions, went over the findings and reports, I asked my questions and stated any concerns I had, and then we went over goals they had come to the meeting with (I brought along my own goals just in case). I DID NOT SIGN THE IEP. In fact, I will never sign an IEP at the meeting. I have zero intention of ever doing so. I took the next few days to process what was said, look over notes, etc. Don't be afraid to speak up and/or ask questions. You have the right to understand what they say and what, ultimately, you will sign.

Make sure to bring someone, anyone, with you for support. Also have that person (or bring a second person) to take notes. I tape recorded my meetings (you have to tell them in advance if you do this). I had my DCP there as not only support and the note taker, but also as someone who knows my son well and could comment on certain things.  Ultimately, I did not agree with the draft IEP. We have had a 2nd IEP meeting which I also did not sign. Most things (goals) have been agreed on at this point but I'm waiting on 2 other things to be completed before I will entertain a 3rd IEP meeting. I am hoping to sign the IEP whenever the 3rd one is held (I will wait a few days though to make sure I'm ok with it and have processed things said at the meeting).

d.f

The process by which we came to the IEP meeting was a little different than many.  DS was not in EI and I had enrolled him as a typical student at my local public preschool.  It was the SpEd teacher who came to me.

That first IEP meeting was hard.  The team (SpEd teacher, Social Worker, SLP, OT, PK Director, and General Ed teacher) basically presented DH and I with a huge packet outlining DS's deficits.  Most of which I had no idea about.  (DS is an only)  I had observed him in class and knew he was very different than most of the other kids but nothing prepared me to hear and read about it.  In hindsight, I would have requested a copy of the reports prior to the meeting and processed the info alone.  I did do that for his second IEP meeting.

The entire meeting consisted of going over the evals and the goals.  Honestly DH and I were pretty shell shocked through it all instead of being the active participants we were at his second annual IEP meeting.  Thankfully, DS has a team who was willing and able to provide what DS needed.  Still I kind of wish we had brought MIL or someone else to the meeting with us, if only to take notes.

Based on MIL's recommendation (she is the point person from my niece's IEP's)  I read THIS book.

mom2pottamus

Thank you for all the replies and information, this really helps. 

When the appointment was set up the Service Coordinator said it was ok if one parent went, so originally I was going to go alone but my husband and I wanted to both hear the info (and now I am truly happy I won't be alone!).  I thought it would be just her and I and I wasn't even thinking there might be other people there.  Which made it feel like a less formal meeting, but now I recognize I was totally off base.

DS has never received any type of services so this is a new world to me.  I am not even sure realistically how I could set goals for him as I don't know how to measure his delays or his sensory needs, but this is definitely good advice because honestly, I had no goals (other than sometimes to get through the day).

I appreciate all the advice, especially about preparing emotionally, not needing to sign right away, not pointing out his strengths even though I want to, and even how to dress.

Think I have enough time to check out those books.  You ladies have been great!

d.f

The book I posted is pretty short. It's more of an overview.  I read it in a day or two.