Crying it out and other babywise ideas

nels5113

I have a sister in law that has been given a lot of advice on getting her newborn to sleep better at night. There are a surprising amount of people recommending the book Babywise. They say that it is better to parent from the head than the heart and that you can't let your babies control you. I'm sorry, but I think there is something very wrong with this idea. Don't you think that we should love and nurture our babies? It just makes me so sad for all the babies that have to "cry it out" or are put on an eating schedule at an early age. If controlling your baby is your top priority than I guess that book is for you. Anybody else?

thatoneredhead

I got a good laugh from an article breaking down parenting styles and their conclusion was literally, "choose anything but babywise and you and your baby will be fine."

I judge it hard because it is straight dangerous to do that to a newborn.

nanabanana06

In the original editions of Babywise they had a really strict eating schedule. Now they kind of say "if they are hungry feed them, but try to stay on schedule". This is due to a ton of flack to the writers. They had tons of babies being diagnosed 'Failure to Thrive' thanks to this book. Not only in the CIO for a newborn thing just cold hearted, the book is essentially starving your kid.

This is why you don't take your parenting advice from someone who is not a doctor.

nels5113

thatoneredhead:

I got a good laugh from an article breaking down parenting styles and their conclusion was literally, "choose anything but babywise and you and your baby will be fine."

I judge it hard because it is straight dangerous to do that to a newborn.

Thank you!  This is pretty much my opinion as well.

Emerald27

Nana_Osaki06:

In the original editions of Babywise they had a really strict eating schedule. Now they kind of say "if they are hungry feed them, but try to stay on schedule". This is due to a ton of flack to the writers. They had tons of babies being diagnosed 'Failure to Thrive' thanks to this book. Not only in the CIO for a newborn thing just cold hearted, the book is essentially starving your kid. This is why you don't take your parenting advice from someone who is not a doctor.

This! Makes me so sad.

KateLouise

I'm a big believer in their being a reason why a mother gets stressed when her baby cries. It's nature's way of making sure you respond to them.

I'm ok with being "controlled" and "manipulated" by my baby. I suppose if she was trying to manipulate me into world domination I'd have to have words with her, luckily all my baby ever wants is milk and snuggles. I'm so lucky I didn't get one of those megalomaniac babies.

pepomntpat

Nana_Osaki06:

In the original editions of Babywise they had a really strict eating schedule. Now they kind of say "if they are hungry feed them, but try to stay on schedule". This is due to a ton of flack to the writers. They had tons of babies being diagnosed 'Failure to Thrive' thanks to this book. Not only in the CIO for a newborn thing just cold hearted, the book is essentially starving your kid.

This is why you don't take your parenting advice from someone who is not a doctor.

I don't take parenting advice from my doctor either. Luckily mine just weighs her, measures her, gives her vaccines and says I'm doing great since she's growing and meeting her milestones. A lot of them advocate CIO and schedules...though not usually from day one.  

I just go with my gut for the most part and I think we are doing okay. 

SoxFan777

thatoneredhead:

I got a good laugh from an article breaking down parenting styles and their conclusion was literally, "choose anything but babywise and you and your baby will be fine."

I judge it hard because it is straight dangerous to do that to a newborn.

I've heard similar things, but I'd be interested to see this article. 

nanabanana06

pepomntpat:

Nana_Osaki06:

In the original editions of Babywise they had a really strict eating schedule. Now they kind of say "if they are hungry feed them, but try to stay on schedule". This is due to a ton of flack to the writers. They had tons of babies being diagnosed 'Failure to Thrive' thanks to this book. Not only in the CIO for a newborn thing just cold hearted, the book is essentially starving your kid.

This is why you don't take your parenting advice from someone who is not a doctor.

I don't take parenting advice from my doctor either. Luckily mine just weighs her, measures her, gives her vaccines and says I'm doing great since she's growing and meeting her milestones. A lot of them advocate CIO and schedules...though not usually from day one.  

I just go with my gut for the most part and I think we are doing okay. 

Yeah, I get ya. I just think it's funny that people take random joe schmo who got a publishing contract's advice. They are far from credible. I never take advice from my doctors either. Half the time they have no idea what I'm talking about. 

twocents6708

I find it sad that our society is so obsessed with independence and being so dictated by schedules and control. This is not something to push on babies. I agree that there is a reason that mothers become somewhat anxious when babies cry.

LatteLady5

A good friend of mine gave me baby wise when N was pretty much not sleeping. I read it and started following it, or tried to. I remember putting her down and letting her cry for awhile. DH said "she's been crying for a long time" and I said "well the book says she can cry up to 45 minutes." I went in after 20 or so because I couldn't take it anymore. She was only a month or so old and her preferred place of sleeping was on her newborn lounger on the bathroom floor, me next to her, water running, lights out. Finally I tried putting her in bed with us and voila, she slept. She snuggled next to me and nursed at her leisure and I actually got sleep. This lasted for a few months before we transition to the PNP and then crib.

Since I read it all the way I can understand how parents are drawn to it. Who wouldn't want their baby to STTN and be the happy, healthy baby he talks about? He says it's safe and it has worked for tons of people so it should work for me too. Wrong. When I started feeling uncomfortable about the book I did some research. I found that a lot of people are against it and why. It's linked to FTT, totally inaccurate and the AAP and le leche advise against. Also, the author has been excommunicated from his church and his daughters no longer speak to him. This is just the guy that needs to be giving parenting advice.

A friend of mine on FB posted something like "I haven't even been following the babywise schedule exactly and  (newborn age) DS is sleeping 5 to 6 hours!" I posted a link and shared some information with her in a very kind and informative way. I wish someone would have told me what I told her before I tried babywise. Thankfully it was only a little over a week so I don't think DD is scarred for life. :P

thatoneredhead

SoxFan777:

thatoneredhead:

I got a good laugh from an article breaking down parenting styles and their conclusion was literally, "choose anything but babywise and you and your baby will be fine."

I judge it hard because it is straight dangerous to do that to a newborn.

I've heard similar things, but I'd be interested to see this article. 

 

It was so long ago! I dont have it. It was something funny, like BuzzFeed or something. 

LadyDelilah

Im usually a to each their own on most parenting but babywise sends me into a fit of rage. Its just plain stupid. INFANTS CRY its what they do. Some more than others and usually when they need somehting. Its not rocket science its an infant.

BrownMa

For a newborn I do find this ridiculous, however when my LO was 6 months old we did CIO because we had to do what was right for us.  He now sleeps through the night and he is much happier during the day and so are we.  He still doesn't really have an eating schedule again, if he shows sign of hunger we feed him.

hannafemme

The hospital where I delivered actually sent us home with an article warning against the book and its methods as they had seen many babies come in FTT.  Scary! 

LatteLady5

LadyDelilah:

Im usually a to each their own on most parenting but babywise sends me into a fit of rage. Its just plain stupid. INFANTS CRY its what they do. Some more than others and usually when they need somehting. Its not rocket science its an infant.

Yeah but the thing is with babywise it's very well written. It's doesn't seem so outlandish when you're reading it. I say this as someone who has read the book and can now understand why it's so appealing. Who wouldn't want their baby to STTN? AND it's coauthored by a pediatrician (probably the only one in America who would do it) so you think it's safe. Plus, if in my case it was given to you by a friend who is raising 4 awesome kids you just don't think to question it. Ya know? As I said in my previous post I only did it for about a week before I just couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't right. I try to inform with kindness as I wish someone would have done for me before I tried it.

I'm not saying it's not stupid, it absolutely is. I can just understand why new moms go for it and try to respond with kind, empathetic information rather than judging. Ya know?

Lennongirl

KateLouise:

I'm a big believer in their being a reason why a mother gets stressed when her baby cries. It's nature's way of making sure you respond to them.

I'm ok with being "controlled" and "manipulated" by my baby. I suppose if she was trying to manipulate me into world domination I'd have to have words with her, luckily all my baby ever wants is milk and snuggles. I'm so lucky I didn't get one of those megalomaniac babies.

This 

Runaway22

KateLouise:

I'm a big believer in their being a reason why a mother gets stressed when her baby cries. It's nature's way of making sure you respond to them.

I'm ok with being "controlled" and "manipulated" by my baby. I suppose if she was trying to manipulate me into world domination I'd have to have words with her, luckily all my baby ever wants is milk and snuggles. I'm so lucky I didn't get one of those megalomaniac babies.

LOL! You made me laugh really hard just now. I hope my baby isn't a megalomaniac haha